A
male
age
41-50,
*ikeeh2009
writes:When my girlfriend of 5 years gets stressed at work mainly she practically ignores me but continues doing things with her son family and friends and then get annoyed when I raise this issue and accuses me of not being supportive, what am I doing wrong if anything?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2010): As a rule we lash out to the people nearest to us knowing full well that they will stand by us no matter what kind of crap we throw at them...
She doesn't want to do that to you.
Just let her know that you love her more than anything. Try to be a sounding board for whatever is stressing her at work even if you don't understand!
A
male
reader, mikeeh2009 +, writes (7 October 2010):
mikeeh2009 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut why does she have to make me feel like I am doing something wrong and not important to her and why should I put up with her life seeming normal with the other people in her life and not me. I feel like I rang 5th out of 5 when it comes to importance which is just wrong. i cant even be supportive cos she gets that from her family who live close by. So I just feel invisible and it makes be angry and feel down and almost single. She says she is bothered about us and her work stress will be sorted by end of month and wants me to be patient. In the meantime she has plans to to go away with a son for a weekend, nites with friends and sod all with me!!
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A
female
reader, monkey friend  +, writes (7 October 2010):
My boyfriend did this to me a couple weeks ago, but worse yet he didn't tell me why, I felt I didn't exist to him. So, eventually I gathered up my courage to talk to him about it; I talked to him about it in a gentle way and told him why exactly it bothered me. I'm glad I did that because now he is trying to make time for me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): She doesn't want to burden you with her worries but feels as though you should just know how she feels. You can't obviously! She sounds a lot like I get in the same situation and all I want then is someone to listen and understand. I know women are tricky I am one.
Just try to read the signs as they come, get a childminder and treat her to your undivided attention, make her feel special, a bottle of bubbly or an unexpected gift, she'll cry and get it all out... We bottle things up.. sometimes we just we need a push into believing we need a hug.
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A
male
reader, lionelhutz +, writes (6 October 2010):
I was in a somewhat similar situation with my ex-gf. I did my best to be helpful and supportive but she seemed to want her space when it came to us in those siuations. So in that regard I agree with Fishdish, give her space IF that's what she tells you she wants.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (6 October 2010):
 It sounds like you want to help, you mean the best, but if the best is to just let her work it out herself, then you got to let her do that. she probably wants to handle the stress as she sees fit and she feels that your wanting in on the stress is stressful in itself, pressuring her about it and all. ask her if she just wants you to sort of give her space when she's stressed, and if she says yes, do that, and that can be your way of being supportive.
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