A
male
age
36-40,
*eryshyguy10
writes:I will be 26 years old soon and the thing is I never had a girlfriend. I kept on getting rejected by women even though I never acted desperate, said anything stupid or said anything nasty to women. Eventually I kind of gave up, everytime I go out now I just go out and do what I have to and never even try talking to women. I have always been nervous around women and the fact that I went to an all boys school didn't help when I was younger along with I had a fear on being beaten up so I very rarely went out after I got home from school.I feel like I have wasted my life as well cause the past seven years I have been looking for a job and only had three months of work during this time (the last job I had was two years ago that only lasted one month) so my confidence and self esteem has pretty much gone down so much that I'm worried I could get depressed as a result of both this and not having a girlfriend.The last place I worked the ladies who worked there said I'm attractive so either they are being honest or they were lying to make me feel better. I only have one female friend but I don't see her much now cause she is in university and have another friend but he always seems to get girlfriends no problem yet I have bad luck (before I gave up altogether) which doesn't boost my confidence at all. The last time I talked to a woman she had a very paranoid boyfriend who beat the hell out of me accusing me of trying to sleep with her so that is another reason why I don't talk to women anymore in case they have a very paranoid partner.I did try dating sites but those were a complete waste of time so I have no idea what I should do to get girlfriend. Also I read a few books about the subject and they didn't help either. I tried changing my appearance, tried changing my personality and so on but they didn't work.I feel like I have wasted my life and I feel like there is something wrong with me cause I never had a girlfriend. I just don't get it cause I'm a nice guy, never get into trouble and will never say anything nasty. Does anyone have any advice on how I can get around this cause I feel I'm going nowhere?Sorry about this being so long, I thought I should put as much detail on why I'm like this and I feel I can't tell anyone about this.
View related questions:
confidence, depressed, never had a girlfriend, self esteem, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BBubbles  +, writes (7 October 2010):
I feel the same way that you do; I am 24 yrs old and single never dated anyone; usually hang out with my mom most of the time (not good all the time I know) but I also feel like I am going nowhere either. There are times that I sit and think about what I really what to do too; wow I always thought I was the only one who felt like this; Here's the thing I was told to have patience but I know how it feels when you have to wait for patience when you see people other people your age getting ahead to tell you the truth it makes me envy/jealous. But I think there will be some opportunities for us I guess we just have wait to find the right one :) hang in there I know I'm trying; and remember you are not alone with this.
A
male
reader, Cccc  +, writes (7 October 2010):
 Well I can tell you that you lack of self confidence is REPULSIVE to woman!You being nervous around woman makes you look weak.You need to calm down and you need to start talking to woman have Female contact WITHOUT the idea of trying to win her over.I say this because I believe if you talk to women you will build your confidence and slowly but surely you wont look like a nervous wimp infront of them.Girls find this EXTREMELY unattractive down to the core my friend.
You now..one of my friends are in exactly the same position and one thing he always does wrong is he looks at woman the wrong way always chasing always being OVERLY nice to them and he never understands why they want nothing to do with him.
Ive learned by just chilling and going out with friends NOT even wanting to be in a relationship a.k.a NOT chasing and being overly nice just being normal attracts woman way more.
Remember really pretty woman are use to get hit on my desperate dudes soo first thing theyl notice is this guy hitting them telling them WHOW you are soo beauty full and the girl would be like ahh thanks you but shes thinking "GOSH this again?" So to them its just the same old crap.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): You say you have always been nervous around girls. I don't think this has anything thing to do with your appearance i think it's a confidence thing.
Girls like guys who are confident, not arrogant though.
I think you need more confidence, maybe work on that for a while and don't concentrate on the gf part so much.
...............................
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (7 October 2010):
 Have you tried joining a club of sorts? Something social, speed dating I suppose is another option if you can find a place. The only advice I can give you is to keep meeting people, talk to them, get to know them and give them a chance to get to know you. A proper chance.
I hope that helps.
...............................
|
