A
female
age
30-35,
*ade*..
writes:Me and my partner (both 19) have been together for a a year and 2 months we love each other dearly and are mature for our age. We have talked alot throughout our relationship about having a child and also getting engaged. It seems like forever that ive been wanting to become pregnant even though i am only 19, and also my partner also is very effectionate about having a child with me. While ive been keen to have a child for a while now, with recent partners i have decided that it wasnt right as i was very young and didnt feel i was in a stable enough relationship to bring a child into my life and also didnt feel love. Since i met my current partner my opinion has changed and i feel that hes the man i would love to spend my life with and share all the qualitys of life with, he has also told me the same. I know my partner loves me very much as do i, and if we did decide on having a baby it would be our choice to drop everything for this child. One thing that i am worried about though is my family, i have a step dad that has been my father since i was around 4 years old and has always brought me up with a striked manor, due to this if i got pregnant with my partner i dont know how i would tell them, my mum i know would be understanding as she had me at the age of 19 as did my nan, but my dad has something about him that scares me into telling him as i dont know what his reaction will be. As for my partner his perants know that we both would like to try for a baby and they seem to be fine about it and just told us to think before we act, which is exactly what we have spend alot of time discussing, and have come to the agreement it is still what we would want. Also we have also been talking about getting engaged for a long time also, we are very much in love and this would be my dream, but once again its my dads reaction that tends to scare me out of it. Please post your comments of you opinions i need Help! Thankyou
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female
reader, cls1990 +, writes (12 February 2010):
 I'm 19 too, my dad said to me if I want children then that's my choice, I'm old enough to live on my own and support myself so I'm mature enough to make the decision myself. He also said he would prefer it if I waited untill my mid 20's (not that far away!) but ultimately it is mine & my partners choice.
The reason I just said all that is because it's totally not the reaction I would of expected from my dad, he is scary! Put it this way; when I got my belly button peirced he threw me out. So my dad must be as scary as yours lol.
I wanted a baby when I was 17, I posted a questionon here and everybody said no don't do it. I'm so glad I listened to them. I still want babies, just not right now. It took a lot for me to see that so I hope u really think about it.
If you decide it's what you both really want then I wish you all the best and remember it's not your dads choice whether you have children, or when you have them. He may only want the best for you but ultimately it's your life not his
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (10 February 2010):
If you approach your parents with the idea of having a baby first then they might not be so understanding. Why don't you tell them you are getting engaged. This is relatively safe to say to them I think. Then get your own place and announce a marriage. Get good jobs and stuff and by the time you have the baby it will be nobody's business since you will be supporting yourselves. When I met my first husband we had a baby immediately because we felt that we only needed love between us and to both want the child and that's all that mattered. It wasn't long before it all became too much for us financially; I was home with the baby and my husband was supporting us. Athough he had been as excited as me, he felt the pressure and started cheating on me and stuff. I know you feel your man would never do this (as I did), but make sure you do things stage by stage to lessen the impact of financial pressure on you both. Living on the dole is not a way to raise a child. All the best to the two of you.
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A
female
reader, dorothy2342  +, writes (10 February 2010):
 The most important thing you can give a child is love and the opportunity for a good life with a mother and father that are able to provide a stable home. It takes money to raise a child properly and to make a decent living you need a college education. You and your boyfriend are very young and please don't put your desires to be a mother ahead of the needs of the child you want to have. Compare the one year you have been together to 40 or 50 years of marriage. You have got this all backwards, you need to finish your education, get engaged, start a career or find great jobs, save some money, get married and then discuss bringing a child into this world. If you have though of having a child before with other guys and then decided this guy looks like a good cantidate for fatherhood, you are not thinking straight. You have a step father, so did I, what does that tell you, relationships are hard at best. Don't have a child until you can afford to have one and provide it with a stable home.
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A
female
reader, themisses +, writes (10 February 2010):
Go for it.. You guys might struggle a bit at first but if this is what you want you're old enough to know what you're getting into and the sacrifices you may have to make. Good luck = )
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