A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, yeah I'm pretty young and I have this huge problem that affects me a lot and I need some help. I guess you could say that I always have to have a boyfriend because I'm lonely without one and I just don't feel loved. But the thing is...I haven't had a boyfriend in like 2 years. And everytime I watch a love movie or read a love book it makes me very sad. I keep having these dreams of me finding this right guy and "being in love" and then I wake up and I'm sad again. I used to think that my dreams were telling me something...but now I don't know what to think. I'd REALLY appreciate it if someone could please help me out. I don't wanna think I have to be in a relationship to feel loved or feel wanted, I just wanna be happy how I am. Also, I was just on vacation, a 3-day vacation at my favorite hotel and there was this really cute guy and I really wanted to smile or say hi to him but I have no guts what so ever to do that. So I basically got really sad at the end of the day cause I didn't do that. Then when it was the day to leave...he was already gone. This is my point...I got sad over someone I don't even know and was liking him. I need some help please. Thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2008): Hi, i was just reading your article and i know your problem. Just stop yourself, and instead of saying "I want to be happy with myself", say "I am happy with myself" over and over again. and whenver you want to get with a boy, replay these words in your head.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (4 December 2008):
 You have too much down time. Where has your social life gone to? As a teenager, whenever I felt lonely it was only because I had too much time on my hands to be pining over my crush of the week or watching Titantic for the 35675th time.
Where are your girlfriends? Go out and have fun with them! The less you think about guys, the more they'll start coming after you (it's just the way things work. Guys can smell desperation - a little known talent of their kind... so as soon as you pick up that confidence, they'll be flocking around you like you're giving out free sundaes).
No need to stay at home with the tissues, chocolate and Reese Witherspoon movies. Get out and have a blast, because you're young, foxy and free to have a good time. Don't let fellas drag you down - a good one will find you soon.
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A
male
reader, ryandude18  +, writes (4 December 2008):
 lonleyness is a normal human feeling, we all feel it at some point. Nerves you will get over.
and by the way whats the rush, im 18 and havent had a girlfriend since i was 14!
im not lonely! of course i am sometimes but i accepet that it will happen in time and you learn to ignore the crap that other people do and say, in the end you are aloud to be happy you deserve it
hugs
xxxx
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A
female
reader, Sausha  +, writes (4 December 2008):
It sounds to me like you're spending too much of your time looking for affirmation externally. You need to stop looking for love elsewhere and the only way you can do that is to start realizing you're okay on you're own. Even when you do get into a relationship it may be doomed to fail because you're going to rely on this person too much to boost your self-esteem. That job cannot ever be put into the hands of one man!! You need to take some time to focus on friends and yourself. Don't sit at home alone, take those friends that you have and bring them in closer to you, let them know the real you and derive your self-esteem from your friends, and family, those that love you. I can empathize with you as my track record has been seldomly single but you need to experience how much fun you can have without relying on one person for your happiness. This happiness won't come to you, you need to go and get it yourself, you're young, go party, go out with friends, flirt, and enjoy everything while things are simple. Trust me getting older brings about harder challenges, bigger heartbreaks, and lots of stress. Learn to appreciate yourself and what you have now and things will surely seem to get easier.
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