A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I met a man on an Internet site. We talked that way for about a week before speaking on the phone. We got along great and after speaking several times a day on the phone decided to meet. A few days after our first date, I made the mistake of sleeping with him. He still texts me several times a day...always good morning and a good night and several times in between. I've seen him at least once since I slept with him. He tells me he's crazy about me, but it just seems like he's cooled off a bit. Is there a way for me to repair any damage that I may have done by sleeping with him too soon?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2012): Another vote not to worry about it unless a problem really occurs.
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (17 June 2012):
 Hi
When are you seeing him next? Ask to go out at the weekend, DO stuff together, you dont want a talk relationship or a FWB you want a proper one. Theres only so much polite conversation you can have.
Hes told you hes crazy about you, so start moving forward to real dates. You both had sex and enjoyed it so thats not a problem is it? Its happened and you cant change it.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (17 June 2012):
Hi there. You can't reverse what has already happened.
It may not have done any damage at all, as he still talks with you many times a day now - so that hasn't really changed at all, has it?
If by "Cooling Off a Bit", you mean he isn't talking quite so many times a day, it could be that he would rather be seeing your instead of chatting, or speaking to you on the telephone, instead of chatting - as the next best thing to seeing each other in person.
He might also be thinking, that if you talk on the internet too often, well then inevitably, you will eventually run dry with things to say.
So he could be deciding it's better to speak only a couple of times a day, instead of several times.
I mean, what's the point of saying - "Hi (your name), how's your day been?" - over and over again throughout the day?
It's NOT really saying anything worthwhile, is it?
Why not simply organise a time to see each other and go for a coffee together one day soon?
Just once a week.
I am assuming that you live within a short distance of each other, so it's NOT a long distance friendship, is it?
And if it's not long distance, then why not just get together the same way other people do, who DIDN'T meet online.
You have already seen each other, so what's stopping you from seeing each other on a more regular basis?
Why not invite him for a coffee, and get the ball rolling?
Then see where it goes from there.
The problem with regular internet chat, is it can become a way of life - because it's so easy, and you don't have to even get up out of your chair! There's no real physical effort inolved, is there?
It's the same way with mobile texting as well, it almost takes the place of phone calls.
Doesn't anyone want face to face conversation anymore?
It's just like playing pretend, isn't it?
Wouldn't you rather be in the same room as him, and then you can hold each other in your arms, and you can kiss each other if you want to.
And you can hear each other's voices and laughter.
In person, is so much nicer and much more intimate than internet chatting, surely!
That's when you really get to know a person well.
And with internet chatting, you are somewhat limited in what you can say, as you have to write it all down - instead of saying it with your voice.
And people abbreviate, which can then mean some things just don't get said at all.
And this then causes misinterpretations and then offence is taken by the receiver, and there was no offence intended in the first place!
This of course happens with mobile texting a lot, as well.
And it can be a real problem.
It would be much wiser for you to work on actually seeing each other, and reduce the internet chat with him, to almost nothing.
Why not say to him the next time you chat online - "Hey (his name), let's just get together and SEE each other. Besides, my hands are getting tired from typing all the time!"
And then say to him - "I'd rather us see each other than just chat like this. It's so impersonal. What do you think?"
Then see what he says.
And then, you can start to build a REAL relationship.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (17 June 2012):
 You say that he is still telling you that he's crazy about you and still texting several times a day so in what way is he cooling off? Are you sure that he is cooling off or is it possible that you're reading too much into things?
You know what, it sounds to me that it's going really well with this guy. He was sleeping with you as much as you were sleeping with him so unless he's a caveman, it should make no difference to how he feels about you. He can't judge you without judging himself.
Good luck and have FUN! x
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A
female
reader, justinette  +, writes (16 June 2012):
 to me he's not that kind of men i mean even after sleeping with you he still txts you and stuff and that's a good sign so hey i think he's into you ...just enjoy his company enjoy your life ...and hope this was a lesson for you that you shouldnt sleep with ppl from the 1st date no matter how nice they seem to be (just saying) ...good luck hope things will go well ....*hugs*
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 June 2012):
 Honestly, I think that if he was into you then he's still going to be into you. I mean you weren't the only one who had sex "too soon", he did as well. If he's serious about you then then is serious about you regardless of you and him having sex. But if he wasn't serious about you then .. well, he'd not be serous about you regardless.
What I am saying is that if he's into you then having sex with you wont change it, it'll just make him want to come back for more. The point of not having sex too early is to not end up having sex with men who only want to use you. But since that isn't your primary concern here I don't think there is anything you need to "repair". Just keep on messaging him as usual. Maybe he thinks that you have cooler off since you are now worried and not casual and enjoying yourself. You're too busy analyzing! Just enjoy his company, and if you still like him tell him so.
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