A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:how do you play a player at his own game ..?but when u like the guy and trying not to show feelings ..when ur just pure (friends with benifits lol ). guys n women hu have or are players please to answer thanks
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (26 December 2011):
 Wow a month!
Again players are always steps ahead of you. When you think you have the upper hand, you really don't.
Players don't last long in "committed relationships"...or whatever causal (I'm sure) relationship you have. Don't be so naïve into thinking you're in a monogamous relationship, because he already has other girls on the side.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 December 2011):
 Becoming a couple isn't exactly what I define as "playing" someone. If you play someone then all you want is to use them...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionright i should really write a book as we are now a couple and have been for almost a month ...cheers guys but you were all wrong ..yes you had to put emotions aside .. but the key is to give everything that he wants and then when he thinks youve got him pull as little stunt to knock him off his power tip ...try it ... it works :D
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (3 November 2011):
If you care about him then you can't play him. The only reason he can play you is because he does not care! So he will always have the upper hand, because YOU care.
If you want to play him you have to not care about him, have him fall in love with you, and break his heart. But that'd just be cruel. Playing with peoples emotions isn't a good thing to do.
However, as you already care about it, you can't play him.
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A
female
reader, xavima +, writes (3 November 2011):
You will be the one who hurts at the end of it. Dont attempt it.
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A
female
reader, smkhan433 +, writes (3 November 2011):
Truthfully, even if you "win the game" you'll always have to "play the game" for the rest of your relationship.
I do believe that there is a certain way women should act with all men...but if you play hot and cold with the palyer and there is really nothing substantial there to hold on to... it will fall apart sooner or later.
Your best bet is to find a player with some essence that you can relate to too...and then...
green light, red light...yellow light.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (3 November 2011):
 With your query about "playing a player" I am reminded of the carpenter who made a table and found that one of the legs was shorter than the other three. He sawed a little off that leg... but was careless and sawed a little too much.... so, he went around and sawed some off each of the other three legs.... Unfortunately, he was careless again, and found that he still didn't have four legs of the same length.... When all was said and done, he had a new tabletop that needed four legs...
Good luck.....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2011): My advice is don't do it. I just fessed up to myself tonight that I indeed have feelings for my friend with benefits. It's not fun when you reaize that you really do want something more,and they still don't. 99 percent of the time you're not going to change a guys mind. And no matter how much you try to play along with the game and not get your feelings hurt,they will get hurt anyways unless you are in it without ANY aount of feelings whatsoever. And then only if your strong enough to not get feelings in the future. Sex and emotions are not something to be played with,it's serious stuff. Just trust me on this one,because I just learned the hard way.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 November 2011):
 I have never played with "players". It's not worth it.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (3 November 2011):
 You can only play a player if you yourself are a player... and then it comes down to experience. You wouldn't challenge tiger woods to a game of golf and expect to win if you've only swung a club a few times... same thing applies here.
If you're trying to suppress your true feelings/intentions by acting, sooner or later- you'll slip up. Problem is... unfortunately, some players aren't just acting... they're true to who they are and what they want... which is to play women.
Morale of the story... if you try to play a player, don't expect to win.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2011): Here's why you probably won't win with this player:
I sense you want to play this game because you want him to eventually come to care about you, while he likely really, truly DOES NOT CARE about you.
Players don't care; that's why they are so good at what they do. They aren't thinking about anyone in particular like you are; they are thinking about the next woman they can hook. Players always have a plan B, you are going into this thinking about how to make your situation A permanent.
It won't work; he won't understand it as it's not part of the player game and at worst: he'll write you off as a "slut" because he no longer finds you interesting when you express interest in other men. I wouldn't waste your time and I have to say it's not a worthy pursuit.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (3 November 2011):
Honestly, don't waste your time.
Players are VERY good at what they do, and CANNOT be challenged by women trying to counteract their sexual arrangement. The thing is, they've already outsmarted you, gotten what they wanted, and will get out of there before you attempt to backlash.
He already knows you like him, that's what's still fueling your FWBs. Here's the kicker, he won't give you a committed relationship because that's not what he wants. Instead, he'll continue to use you for sex.
Get smart and ditch this player.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (3 November 2011):
 Does he express that he is really into you two hooking up. If he is giving you signals that you are a pretty big hook up for him then just walk away and you have beaten him at his own game. You're not going to win him over or hurt him if you stick and if you are just someone who is nice to have around then he won't even be hurt if you leave. The thing about players is that you can't hurt them if the have no emotional investment. The only was would be to screw up other things that he has going on and I don't reccomend putting yourself in that position.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2011): Being a player myself, I have realized that a girl who is interested in a player will increase her defenses and work her hardest to play better game. The defenses go up because, well, bluntly, he is a player. This means you are less likely to trust him, more reluctant to get in bed with him, and extra cautious to fall for him, because you fear that he may easily hurt you...
Well, its hard to play players because they are players because they simply show that they don't care. They have mastered this technique to drive women crazy and wonder why it is they don't care when women who care, want them to care.
The trick is to NOT play the player. A player may also walk away because he knows he has options. This is why female players and male players don't usually co-mingle. If both people simply show that they do not care and show a lack of interest, where does it go?
If you want to GET the player, you're just going to have to tr get him. Simple as that. Being a player myself, when a girl im interested in is playing games with me, I can tell. It doesn't phase me as it would weaker men or less experienced men. BUT, when a girl I am interested in shows interest and acts on this interest, then it is the most attractive thing one can hope for.
You're just going to have to show your interest and risk it with players sometimes. Although you may be extra cautious, it may be the most rewarding thing in the end. Everything requires a little risk, some a little more than others...
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 November 2011):
 Ask yourself do you really want to have him as a sex friend and nothing more? If you have feelings for him well then take my advice you are going to get hurt a lot of you keep this up. If it is what you want well then have sex with him, let him use you, pretend that you do not care, once you have sex walk up and leave as if nothing ever happened, flirt with other people, be prepared to see him flirt with other people and not show you that he cares. If it is really what you want well then go for it.
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