A
male
age
41-50,
Hayatori
writes:Do you miss your ex and want him/her back? Have you tried begging, buying them gifts, being clingy, etc? None of that is going to work. That is only going to push them further away from you. Try doing these steps and I know that these steps may seem counterintuitive however, these steps do work and I know from personal experience. This process could take anywhere from a few days to up to a couple of months. I know it will probably be hard on you, even so it will be even harder on them in time. This will work if you do this right and you have to be patient.Step 1: Agree With The Breakup!You have to get on their side. When they break up with you then you should say "You right, breaking up is the best thing for both of us." You want to say it in a calm tone. If you have already tried begging or doing any of that other stuff then I would suggest writing a handwritten letter saying "Hey, sorry for going crazy on you after you broke up with me. You were right, that was the best thing for us to do."(Note: You don't want to over do it however, you could add "Your right, I've been thinking the same thing for a while now." This would depend on what caused the breakup.)Step 2: Cut off all communication with your ex.Give both you and your ex space. This will give both you and your ex time to think. When/if your ex does call you, don't stay on the phone for too long. Make it seem like your busy even if your not and you want to have a friendly tone. When and if your ex calls say something like "Hey, its great to hear from you! I'm very busy and I don't have much time to talk. Maybe we can talk later. I don't have a lot of time to talk right now" If your ex calls and wants to meet you over coffee or something like that then you should say "Maybe, that sounds good. When would you like to do it?" Don't get too excited. Stay calm and keep a calm voice.Remember, you want to cut the conversation short. DON'T tell them why your busy. Doing this will make you seem mysterious and interesting instead of predictable and boring. This will also make your ex go crazy and you will be on their mind often.(Note: If your ex doesn't call you after about a month or 2, then you could call them and say "Hey, I just want to thank you for what you did. You really helped me" Don't tell them what it is until they either call back or you see them in person. If your going to do this your going to have to think of a reason to thank them.)Step 3: Focus on YourselfTry to improve yourself. Like clearing up/reducing your acne, improve your hair, shave if needed, etc...Step 4: Go out and have fun. Hang out with your friends again. Seek the kindness and support of others to help you get through this difficult time. Take up a hobby. You can also take up a sport. Sports don't give you much time to think which is good because it will keep you busy and keep you from getting depressed thinking about your ex.(Note: This may help OR it may make things worse and I wouldn't risk it but if your not making any progress at all with these other steps than you can try dating other people. You can let your ex know if you want. One of two things will happen, Your ex will start getting jealous even if they don't admit it or show it and they will fight for your love OR they might try to move on because they might think they don't have a chance. This is why I wouldn't recommend this.)Step 5: Meeting Your Ex. If you and your ex haven't planned a meeting since a month or 2 after the breakup then call them up and plan the meeting. When you guys do meet, just act normal. Don't get too excited or anything. After meeting them wait about a week or 2 to meet them again. After meeting them a second time, wait about a couple of days to meet them a third time. Now, if you guys have been getting along and your ex hasn't asked you out by now then you should ask them out. Most likely, the reason why they haven't asked you out is because they either think your going to say no and/or because they are shy and nervous. If they have asked you out, then of course say yes.
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acne, broke up, depressed, jealous, move on, shy Reply to this Article
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You can add your comments or thoughts to this article A
male
reader, worried dad  +, writes (18 December 2009):
Son you are a player..... or you thing you are. The only answer is to show your true feeling during the first time you dated and she wont be an ex???? When dating your not playing a game to see who can get the most girls in a depicted period. Somewhere in time people have lost the art of finding the person they will spend life with, enjoying each and everything life has to offer, good or bad. Just as the vows say "In better or Worse sickness and in health"....ect. It is too easy to divorce these days. Back in my days you were shamed if you where divorced.LOVE is not a word used lightly, God so LOVED his son he sacrificed him for OUR sins. Thanks for listening, I hope I was able to reach just one of you teens. Thanks again Concerned Father
A
female
reader, Duckyhelp  +, writes (7 December 2009):
 when my ex broke up with me, he told me me and him would never be together again.
Here i am 5 months later, him telling me his feelings never left. And are going to be together soon (due to complications its nt atm)
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A
female
reader, dianamd  +, writes (3 December 2009):
if you really does love her ..take her back and try to make things better ,its in ur hand to cheer and enlight ur relationship ....be honest and loyal to ur partner and make ur mind that u must give ur lover as much happiness u can and be down to earth and please make sure that ur partner too is trustworthy and love u alot as u do to her
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A
male
reader, Hayatori +, writes (3 December 2009):
Hayatori is verified as being by the original poster of the question I can't promise you that this will work 100% but it works about 93% of the time. She might just be saying that, women say things they don't mean when they get emotional. When it comes to relationships, Men normally think with logic and Women think with their emotions.
If these steps don't get you your ex back than as mentioned earlier, steps 1 - 4 will more likely make you get over your ex. There are more sbitches/s fishes in the sea...
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A
female
reader, RichTea +, writes (2 December 2009):
 What if you have spoken to your ex about getting back together and they have told you that there is no chance it will happen and they dont love you anymore?!? What do you do then ?? huh
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A
female
reader, old-spinstah +, writes (2 December 2009):
Personally, I think that if you do steps 1 - 4 really well, you won't want to move on to step 5. You'll have rediscovered the joys of being free and single again!
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