A
female
age
36-40,
*oloradogrl
writes:I guess what I want to know is what is the average number of people someone my age (22) has been with? I know its different for everyone and Ill get answers saying whatever is right for me. Im just curious is all. I've been with 12, which I always thought of as quite a few and maybe a little too much. Then I was discussing this with my ex (27) the other day and he said 79!!! Which I believe because of things Ive heard and girls who come up and 'inform' me of their past. It made me feel totally gross to have been intimate with him (and I have an appointment to get checked) but made my number look so much better in retrospect!! (Though, him being an ex for a reason was all over telling me how promiscuous I was)So what is average for most people?
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female
reader, tan28sm +, writes (16 September 2008):
I've wondered this myself. I have only been with 3 people (34). I was married once. My bf now has been a party boy most of his life (33) and I told him once at the beginning not to tell me how many women he had been with, because I knew..no matter what the number, it was more than my number and it would only make me sick and I would obsess over it. I suspect by how many gf he's had and from what I can figure it's probably above 20 for sure, and that makes me sick, so what good would knowing the definate answer be?. In fact, that's one of my biggest's problems I have..dealing with his sexual past. I know..why should I care..but it says alot about someone, I think. And yeah, I'm jealous and wonder if he compares me to them, etc. I know he can't do anything about it now- and that's it's my own problem in my head, but I can't seem to get past it, and have considered breaking up over it. So, yeah, I think 79 is too many. It says alot.
A
female
reader, michelleAKAmandi +, writes (13 September 2008):
 Wow, I feel ummm... well I don't know what the word is, but I think it's all in who you are, how you look at sex and sometimes respect for yourself. I, at 40, have only had 6 partners, 2 of them being female - not that it makes any difference, but some say so, 1 was an ex husband of 12 yrs, 1 of a 4 yr thing, 1 of 2 yrs and then my present husband. So I think to me, my number is all because if I don't feel anything for a person emotionally or have a relationship with them... I won't sleep with them. Now if I added how many partners I could have had.. LOL whoa is me I'm sure it would be close to 30 or 40.
Check out the statistics online through a google search, I'm sure they have such that will give you the information.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2008):
I think 12 guys at 22 years old is high, but it's not that far away from average. It's not high enough to make you THAT girl among most social groups anyway.
But I really don't like dating women with numbers like that at your age. Sorry but I am just being really honest. I have friends with numbers much higher and I think they are great people. But different strokes for different folks.
I don't think this is hypocritical of me because I am 33 and I've only had 4 women myself including the one I'm with now. I could get easy sex since I was 16 or 17 but I always wanted to keep it as special as I could.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (13 September 2008):
It depends on you and your morals.
79 means he's had lots of one night stands and can't get a girlfriend - is that really such a good thing?
My number is 6, and I regret at least 2 of them.
Some people stay virgins till they are married, and some people go out every weekend and grab some guy to take home.
It's a personal choice on how you behave.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (13 September 2008):
 Based on the statistics I've seen (I looked at a lot at one point) you're probably a little over average, but nothing that unusual. Certainly in the realm of 'normal' for contemporary US culture.
79 is possible, but very high. And I quite understand your reaction: it shows he has a rather 'disposable' attitude towards sex, and it's reasonable in my opinion to not want to be with someone with that attitude. Having said that, people can reform, but it happens less than we'd like to think.
Bear in mind that these statistics are notoriously unreliable as women like to under-report their number, and men like to over-report. He could easily be talking complete bs.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (13 September 2008):
 When I was your age it was a very different time. That was about 38 years ago and America was emerging from the 60s into the 70s. It was a wild and crazy time, long before HIV and Aids, and still in the midst of the so-called sexual revolution. Personally, I had been quite active and, by age 22, my count was at least 18 (in retrospect and the best that I can recall). But the times were very different (I think), and from about 1964 to 1970 (when I turned 23), I lived in either Hollywood (L.A.) or Honolulu, Hawaii.
Those places were extremely permissive in those times. Special note: The 1970s were even wilder for me, until I finally settled down and married in 1978. Now in my opinion, depending on your location, lifestyle, and the fact that you are a woman, I would say that you have been "above average" in the number of partners for these times - or maybe I'm just old and way out of the scene today. It probably just depends on where you are headed in life. If you intend to settle down, get married and have a family - your past may eventually prove to be a negative factor for several possible reasons.
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A
male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (13 September 2008):
 Your number is very reasonable for a woman your age, I think, depending on when you started having sex, of course. I have known women whose number reached upwards of 100 once they were in their late 20s (these women were strippers, but nevermind) and I find that to be a bit excessive. Of course it's easier for women to up their numbers because there are a lot of men who will sleep with anything that moves, so all a woman really has to do is step into a bar and say "Who wants to have sex?" and rest assured that at least 3 or 4 men will raise their hands.
When I was around your age, I think I was at about 25-30 partners, because I was a bit of a playboy/party guy at the time (and not at all faithful to my girlfriends- thankfully I am reformed). My current number is somewhere around 40, I never kept precise track though. I have been sleeping with only one woman for the last few years, and I plan to be with her for a long time (forever?) so I don't think my number will increase from this point (fingers crossed!).
Ultimately, a decent guy won't judge you for how many partners you have had sex with (provided you don't have any outstanding STDs, or 10 kids from 10 different men).
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A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (13 September 2008):
 When I was your age my number was at 6 and I thought that was waaaaay to high and was a bit ashamed. Now, 18 years later my number is 7.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (13 September 2008):
 There are plenty of websites to check out with numbers and figures. I think that when the numbers get THAT high, 79, you have to start questioning how he regards sex, women and fidelity and if he is the kind of guy who has something to prove, like keeping notches on his bedpost. Frankly, a man who is driven by his penis always make me second-guess myself, because the kind of guy that I like is more into sex within a relationship rather than outsourcing masturbation (yeah, I know, a little harsh, but it's my opinion). I think that a serial monogamist who has numbers around 12 probably shows more "character development" than a person who has such high numbers, either because they like to party or they have some character flaw that they need a personal fix for through having random sex with numerous strangers. It doesn't surprise me at all that you were freaked out about it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2008): The dude is lying. 79 girls! Ridiculous. There is no accepted average number but 79 is a joke.
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