A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:The man I have been with dumped me this morning after three years of dating . He stated he is depressed and blamed me. Said he needs to find himself . What want to know is how long does it take to mend a broken heart . I was /am. In love with this man heart body and soul . Now it's over . How long will I hurt ?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI hv purged him from my life the problem I hv . Is due to out jobs we hv frequent spardic contact . My work friends are doing their beat to shelter me from him , however that is not always possible . Eating candy isn't a problem .... I can't even eat and when I do I throw it back up .
Thank you for the advice about letting it all out . Bc I hate losing control and crying and have had several small bouts of tears .
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 August 2010):
 The pain will last a bit and be the strongest right now. Just hang in there. It will diminish, trust me. Get rid of everything that reminds you of him, and go spoil yourself, and then cry your eyes out. But after you have cried, try to stop crying again. I mean to say, it is okay to have a good cry now and then and let it all out, but it will only drag you further down if you have several small cries during the day and week. I know they will happen, at first, but to the best of your abilities try and limit them. If you can let all your sadness out, there will be small pockets of happiness in between. Watch a funny movie then, or do something truly enjoyable, so that you can have a laugh. That will make it easier on you. And spoil yourself rotten.
But lay off the candy. Eat healthy snacks.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe broke up exactly a year ago and we were apart for several months . He came back and wanted to try again so I did . I think that is what is making this so hard . Last time was not so final this time it seems so final. He is currently going through a major depression also . So he is very flat and emotionless .
All I know is I am hurting . I want the pain to stop :(
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A
female
reader, natmarie  +, writes (6 August 2010):
 Has he broken up with you before?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): no1 gets over a person they love, you just gradually learn to accept it, but remember its one of lifes experience, think of all the good that has come out of it whether its good memories or things youve learnt xxxx
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (5 August 2010):
It will take you about 1-2 years. The pain will be intense the first 6 months, then slowly diminish. By one year you will only remember him now and then, and after 2 years he should be completely out of your system. Well, based on my own personal experience with deep and intense heartache that is.
Remember that time heals all wounds and just hang in there. In time, when you look back at this, everything will seem so much clearer and you will be able to understand what happened, even if it seems unbelievable at this moment. Hang in there and let time work its magic.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (5 August 2010):
 Sometimes its a week, to a month, couple years..it varies from person to person.
First off, he's depressed and that's not ur problem or fault..if he actually has the symptoms of depression then he needs to schedule an appt and get on meds asap. Also he stated he needed to go find himself, how old is this guy? I found myself and who I was at 23, I didnt think it took that long.
Back to u, now the man seems a lil unstable sorry to say dear but I think a break up is the best..Now u can take back ur hurt, he doesnt own it anymore he jut gave up that right..pick up the pieces and push urself forward. Go to ur closet, pick out that sexy lil black dress, make an appt at the salon for a blowout, get down to the nail shop for a pampering mani and pedi and some killer stilettos, or a pair of sharp pumps, grab ur gfs and go out on a nite in the town..Buy a round of drinks, let men buy u drinks and flirt away. U can get over it, I believe in you!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (5 August 2010):
A day? 6 months? A year?
No one can answer that. You can only take it one step at a time. It took my 6 months to get over my ex once. That was because I cut contact, focused on myself and got back out there with my friends. My best friend, in contrast, took 2 years to get over his ex because he wouldn't cut contact and really thought she would come back. She didn't, of course.
To get over this guy, you need to look at your own life and throw yourself into it. Get back out there with your friends, look at your career/work. Start a new hobby. Anything where you can see yourself making progress in your life will help you get over him. Just don't sit there, or you'll struggle.
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A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (5 August 2010):
 It will only hurt as long as you let it. find other things to do to get your mind off of it.
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