A
male
age
30-35,
*ullseye
writes:How does someone get into a relationship when he has no friends?I've tried talking with girls on these social online sites but i find it awkward trying to start a conversation online with a person i've never met.I mean how do people do this?...they just go like "hi..how are u...I've seen ur pictures and i think ur cute"??..or add some pickup lines or cheesy jokes??. ..i don't know this just seems stupid to me....how do u start a conversation when u have nothing to talk about without sounding like an idiot?Even in person i think its the same thing...approaching a girl I've never met.. either she's gonna think i'm an idiot,a creep, or just plain awkward and weird....am i wrong and its all my fault or what do u think? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (11 May 2013):
Maisy1 has given you brilliant advice here. I highly recommend following it.
The trick is not to use the kinds of standard lines they may have heard time and time again, instead you want to try and find out something about the girl, for example an activity she does or an interest she has. Look for something you could talk about, send a brief message but make reference to something specific to her profile and say something about it, perhaps showing her how there is some similarities with your interests, or referring to a time you experienced something similar. That’s what will make you stand out. Yes, some people won’t respond to you, there’s a wide and varied bunch of men and women on-line. But for many girls this approach will make you stand out. If nothing else it will just break down the awkwardness that seems to be a barrier for you interacting with girls at the moment. Think of them first and foremost, as people, who have personalities you might like or dislike. Worry about them being girls afterwards.
I wish you all the very best.
A
female
reader, maisy1 +, writes (11 May 2013):
Only approach women on dating sites, not facebook,etc. Get yourself on an internet dating site and start contacting people as you'll soon pick up what works.
DONT say somone looks cute. Cute sounds childish and patronising. Also avoid cheesy chat up lines or corney lines. Dont comment on looks.
Say "Hi im Jim, how are you? I see from your profile you enjoy bee keeping and eating raw fish! Great because i love sushi and being stung. How many hives do you have".
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): Yes, you are wrong. I have a friend who could be called a bit of a player and the secret of his success isn't that he is amazingly good at talking to women but that he does it ALL the time.He is kinda charming, in a puppy sort of way (he is also totally unreliable) but if he sees a woman, he talks to her. And I don't mean chatting her up. He just says "hi" a LOT. Stopping for gas, he talks NOT just to the girl behind the counter when he pays for gas but to the girl stocking the candy shelves AND the girl at the coffee counter AND female customers. My own hit rate is about a million times better then his, but he hits CONSTANTLY. Does he get rejected? Always but he accepts it and moves on. Doesn't get a response from hi or the hi back is a sign they are not interested, he moves on.And that is the secret to approaching girls. Not to mind being shot down in flames. The REALLY smooth ones can recover from a shot down instantly.It is us losers who worry themselves sick a girl might say no, that we never give her a chance to say yes.Girls are like the lottery, you got to play to be able to win. Don't worry, after the first thousand or so totally soul crushing ego destroying turn downs in front of everyone it will start to hurt a bit less.But hey, the pain of rejection is easy to avoid. Just be alone for the rest of your life... oh wait, that sucks to. Now go out their and make an ass out of yourself because out there is a girl right now wondering why you are not making a move on her.
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A
female
reader, HeresBoo +, writes (11 May 2013):
 Honestly compliments always go down well and smile and don't cross physical barriers."Hey how are you?" Or "hi my names John, how are you?" And shake her hand or even enter with a compliment like smile at her and when she smiles back approach and say you couldn't resist talking to someone with such a beautiful smile :)In terms of reading her body language, pick up on whether she's facing or edging away from you and react accordingly. You don't have give up, just ease off and give her a little space.Don't freak out if the subject dies, just bring up another and stick to one she shows interest it, girls love talking about themselves, TRUST ME! For example, ask her about her hobbies or where she wants to go in life (eg. Work). You pretty much start the conversation and let her go from there. Just always remember to back off when she is giving you bad vibes.Don't look over her body if there is ANY chance of her seeing because you could be talking to someone who loathes perves and might blow you off as someone who just wants sex. If that's what you want, go clubbing, easy as!Feel free to personal message me any more questions or anything if you liked my advice so far. (My partner helped me with this one, so you're getting feedback from both genders)Hope this helps :)
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