A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How do people feel about flirting with someone who already has a partner? We are both in relationships but have not talked about our partners to each other before. I really like him a lot and can tell he likes me too. We only smile, stare, wink and chat to each other, but we do have a lot of extended eye contact and our eyes are always drawn to each other immediately as soon as we happen to be in the same room/area.Also, if this just continues and perhaps goes no further, are we doing anything wrong?
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female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (25 May 2008):
 I think unless people actually want a complicated life and that knotty screwed up in the belly feeling, they are playing a dangerous game.
Very selfish to the unknowing partner too.
C xxxxx
A
female
reader, GuardianAngel +, writes (25 May 2008):
 Hello I shouldn't think that would matter as long as his girlfriend is not one of your friends because that would hurt you in the long run and she may never forgive you but if you don't know her it won't be that bad yeah you might hurt her a little and feel guilty for taking him but at least you will be happy and so will the man you have your eye on Yours Sincerely Guardian AngelP.S I Hope This Helps answer your question!
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (25 May 2008):
 well by the sounds of it its a bit more than flirtin, your looking for each other which means theirs more to it than it should be, are you unhappy in your own relationship or are you just not resisting temptaion? usually before people flirt else where is because the attention their getting so does your parnter not give you enough? and for myself as a rule flirting whilst having a partner is as good as cheating but thats my own standards. so i think you should look close to home in your own relationship, because what if you two hit it off ? if he cheats on his partner do you not think he could do it on you ? thats my opinion hope it helps aphex
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (25 May 2008):
 What kind of question is this? It doesn't "JUST" happen. You already know you're going to do it. There is not "just" going on. If your conscience bothers you enough to ask the question then you know it's wrong. If it was innocent you wouldn't feel guilty. You feel guilty because you enjoy the thrill of the attraction.
The first time was innocent. The second time was a test to confirm it happened the first time. After that, it was done because you both realized you were fulfilling some void in each other. There is nothing wrong when it happens the first couple of times. After that, it becomes a situation where you are treating your partners like chumps.
Put it this way. If you were going out with your partner to a party and you knew this other person was going to be there, you'd be preparing yourself for the outsider. All the time you spent doing your hair and choosing your clothes would be to make sure the other guy notice you. Then when your guy turned his back you could sneak some eye contact with Romeo.
You will always have attractions. Animals have attractions. The lion mates with one lioness,then another, then another. Does that sound special? A mature person will understand that the love and history they have with their partner out weighs the temptation of a bump and grind session with another person. Could this other guy be a good partner for you? Of course he could. People lose partners all the time and fall in love again. You're not doing it for that though. You're doing it for a thrill. Thrill rides last for about 2 minutes, then the stop.
So what thrill does this guy provide that your partner doesn't? If you need a thrill, talk to your partner. Don't start doing things behind his back. Relationships with partners are not always about thrills. They are about longevity, love, trust, caring and knowing that the person you have coffee with in the morning when you're 45 will be there help you up the stairs when you're 85.
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