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How do I talk to her and ask her out? She is very pretty and I am the guy that gets bullied!

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 November 2010) 13 Answers - (Newest, 13 November 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I really like this girl in my class (me and her are 14) i like everything about her but i dont know have to talk to her. She is much taller than me :/ and some people dont like me (just for no reason) and sometimes bully me. She is not part of that crowd but i dont know how to talk to her. She is very pretty and i want to know how to talk to her as ask her out.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks to everyone who helped :) but now the hard bit is moving on :/

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A female reader, Kit-Kat United Kingdom +, writes (12 November 2010):

you are very brave for trying, that takes serious guts! its a shame it didnt work out but hopefully you will have the confidence now to just talk to girls without hesitation!

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (12 November 2010):

dirtball agony auntCongratulations on making the attempt! That's more than a lot of people actually do. It's a shame that she didn't take you up on the offer, but you've planted the seed. Who knows, she may change her mind but at least for now you know where she stands. Use what you learned here to talk to other girls and hopefully one of them will be interested in taking you up on your offer.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010):

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she sed to me thanks ive liked the same person for the past 14 months,, i think your really sweet tho , and its nice of you to ask. :/ I dunno what to do now

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010):

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i was talking to her today on her own and i just couldnt ask her out :/ i didnt have the balls :/

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A male reader, Serpico United States +, writes (11 November 2010):

Dont let your height allow you to be intimidated. When I boxed competitively, I was five full weight classes heavier than my trainer, yet he could lay me out in about two seconds. Knowledge of fighting will determine the outcome of 90% of fights, especially at your age.

Also, I disagree with the amount of trouble that you can get into. Schools generally dont want to deal with guilt in cases of kids fighting. I have never seen a school dole out guilt on who threw the first punch. Whether you win or lose, both of you get suspended, so make sure you get your money's worth. And trust me, what standing up for yourself will do for your confidence and reputation will far outweigh a two day vacation from algebra.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010):

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thanks for all the answers. I get bullied by people who are bigger than me though :/ i'm in year 10 14 years old and 5ft :/ some of them could easily beat me up (have before) don't want to tell any1 because it'll just get worse.

As for the girl we are both into music so ill try and strike up a conversation about music. I am not very confident around girls though and have no idea what to say.

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A male reader, Myke United States +, writes (10 November 2010):

While I agree with Serpico to some extent, the ladies (Daphne and Kit-Kat) probably have some good advice. Just get friendly with her. While girls do like guys with confidence, they much prefer someone who they can relate to and who can make them smile and laugh (but don't be a clown). She's probably a nice girl, just try to make friends, then see where it goes. The bullying is a separate issue. Talk to your parents about that. It's much different in school now days. If you slug a bully, you'll probably get in major trouble.

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A male reader, Odds United States +, writes (10 November 2010):

Odds agony auntReally, just go talk to her. Don't interrupt her if she's talking to other people, maintain eye contact, and remember to smile. Here's a little secret - *what* you talk about is basically unimportant, so long as you avoid anything really awkward (so no Star Trek or politics). What matters is that you say it confidently and appear to be in a good mood. Make her laugh, if you can, and try to let her do around 60% of the talking.

As for the bullies, take up a martial art, wrestling, boxing, or something. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT throw the first punch unless you're parents are rich donors to the school. If there's more than one of them, either run away or, if that's impossible, just pick one and pound him until you pass out, ignoring the rest (when they see him afterwards, no one will want to end up like him later).

*And don't try to pick a fight.*

But when they make fun of you, make fun right back. Laugh at the nasty things they say, and say something funny right back. If one calls you gay, tell him he's going to lose his turn on top if he talks that way. They call you a nerd, thank them for the compliment. The point is to show them that what they say does not hurt you. Your attitude should not be trying to hur ttheir feeligns, but trying to have a good time of your own without caring about their feeligns in any way.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (10 November 2010):

dirtball agony auntLike the Nike slogan, Just Do It. Really, there is no secret. You just walk up to her and say hi. Ask her if she'd be interested in going on a date with you.

Remember a couple of things. Objections aren't rejections. What I mean is if she says something like, "But we hardly know eachother." That's not a rejection. She will see how you handle that. A response of "I know, that's why I'd love to take you out," will show confidence and overcome that objection. It is best if you can catch her alone. That way you don't have the added pressure of her friends being around. Plan what you're going to say, just don't sound rehearsed. If you practice your approach a couple of times before hand, it will hopefully help keep you from freezing when you're actually doing it.

Good luck. You're both young, so don't worry too much if she does reject you. Just smile and say you hope she changes her mind and walk away. Women like confidence.

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A female reader, Daphne...x United Kingdom +, writes (10 November 2010):

Heyy. You could just start by striking up random conversation, saying hello when you pass her. Commenting on things that she might find interesting. If you start up slow and work your way up, then you can maybe pluck up the courage to invite her to hang out sometime. Always just be yourself :)

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A female reader, Kit-Kat United Kingdom +, writes (10 November 2010):

maybe you could ask her for some help on something in the class you two share? once you got her talking on the subject in class, try and find something you two have in common and steer that into the conversation. thats how me and my boyfriends got talking. we were in the same class then he found out i was a good swimmer, so he asked me about sports and we just kept on chatting. it is hard for us because we are not that popular in our year, and we get a hard time. i am more popular than my boyfriend; if this girl is as nice as you think, the taunting won't matter to her.

once you've talked to her a few times, try talking to her on facebook.

once your friends with her, try complimenting her, telling her she has nice hair and it makes her look pretty. then she'll catch on and u are in a good position to ask her.

if you cant get her on her own in class, try and pass by her locker and ask a quick question on the class homework. hopefully you can walk her to her next class, but dont stalk her!

good luck!!

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A male reader, Serpico United States +, writes (10 November 2010):

Nothing is more attractive to women (of any age) than confidence (if not arrogance.) My suggestion to you is to first start standing up for yourself. Take up boxing if you need to learn how to fight. (I did - it worked wonders for me.) Trust me, you lay out someone who bullies you, you'll soon find that there are no more bullies. See what that does for you confidence. Then you may forget about this girl because you'll have 20 other to pick from.....

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