A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:So I have a friend who is a guy who I have started to think about more romantically after I saw him wearing a spiderman costume which showed off his very cute muscles which I had never seen before. Side note he had the costume because he is a marvel maniac and we were going to a children’s hospital and thought it would be fun to do costumes. The kids loved him and he totally got into the moves and hanging from stuff even upside down. He only fell once. He has always been a cute guy but nerdy and shy and totally hid his bod in clothes too big for him. He also wears t-shirts when swimming like he does not want to be seen. Our friend group includes some athletes and I can see him being intimidated being smaller. But the truth is he is sexy fit. He has visible well-defined abs. We are not talking huge muscles like the football players but everything was so perfect and he totally has a cute butt all of which I could see in the costume. If you think about it those spidey costumes are like skin tight and show everything. We got a moment of privacy and I made all kinds of comments about his body and asked why he had been hiding it. He just stuttered. Without asking I touched his arm and chest and then his butt and abs and I kissed his shoulder and told him he was hot. He had the mask on but he turned his back to me and asked for privacy. I realized he had a boner and could not hide it so I got back in protective friend mode and sort of distracted people when we got off the elevator and he went to the bathroom to do whatever boys do. TBH I have the hots for him now. He is shorter than most of the guys but he is still one inch taller than me and is so funny, kind, and cool to be around once you get him to talk and open up. He just does not realize he has the secret bod of a superhero. LOL Maybe I am being shallow focusing on his newly discovered physical hotness, but he is so yummy and the idea of seducing my cute nerdy guy friend is exciting even if it is just FWB. I would totally date him even though it would be weird at first. Besides his spidey muscles he has great manners and I think would be a thoughtful boyfriend. He is 15m and I am 17f btw. He is a virgin I think. I am not but hardly anyone knows that. So far all I have done is tease him asking how his "spidey muscles" are and he just grins and gets red and kind of stutters "fine" or "ok." He is so freaking shy. Not sure what to do next exactly. Any ideas?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2022): Cool your jets kiddo and LISTEN to WiseOwlE! His advice is 100 per cent correct!!
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (3 June 2022):
 For starters, do you think you could make up your mind whether you are male or female? Your profile says male but you say in your post you are female. I suspect you are female, from the way the post is written. Not that your gender is crucial. However, your age and the age of your "prey" definitely IS.
This boy is 15. At this age he will get boners from breathing, let alone someone making inappropriate advances on him. Girls tend to mature faster than boys and, depending on what state you inhabit, you are possibly legally old enough to be sexually active; this boy is NOT. He is OFF LIMITS. Just because you have suddenly seen evidence of his "fit" body does not give you the right to push your (possibly unwanted) attention on him. Given his age, what you did is verging on child abuse. Back off, lady, and learn some self control. This boy is a CHILD.
I would strongly advise you to steer clear of him until you learn to conduct yourself appropriate with a child or until he is old enough to be legally sexually active. At the moment you are way too old for him and your agenda is quite creepy.
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A
female
reader, QueenCupcake +, writes (3 June 2022):
 Sorry, just a couple more things. Just because he had a Boehner, doesn’t mean that he wants to be seduced what is attractive romantically or sexually. You kissed him, he had a biological reaction. Sometimes people can’t control that. And are you sure of his sexual orientation?
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A
female
reader, QueenCupcake +, writes (3 June 2022):
Man* not woman. Sorry!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2022): You indicated that your are "male." Don't just decide you're going after a guy without knowing if he likes boys too! If he is a virgin, he doesn't know what he likes; because he's not of an age to be certain. He may like only girls, just because he hasn't had sex yet doesn't mean he isn't straight! You are a bit bold and little too full of yourself, my young friend!
You've decided to come-out in high school; which is a very risky thing to do. It's not for the timid! You might be comfortable and ready to deal with the teasing and bullying; but you have no right to force anybody else out, especially when you don't even know if that boy is gay!!! He's a virgin, and hasn't had sex with anybody; so his sexual-orientation is undetermined, and legally he is considered under the age of consent. If you don't know what that means, you had better stop what you're doing!
DON'T TOUCH OR KISS PEOPLE WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION! GOT IT?!!
You could be risking a lot coming-out so young; and at the same time, you don't know how serious things can get when he is a couple years younger than you. You may intimidate him, because he might be a regular target of bullying. You are coming-on too strong; and you're taking advantage of his shyness, knowing he isn't likely to punch you in the nose. Keep it up, and he may surprise you! He may report it to someone!
Make sure someone wants the same things you want before you go "seducing" people. It is considered sexual-harassment when you force yourself on people; when they aren't interested in sex or physical contact with you.
I've been here at DC for a long time. I'm a little skeptical your post was written by a 17 year-old boy. If you are that age, you borrowed a lot of your words from somewhere else; and didn't just come-up with them off the top of your head.
I don't think the kid is ready for any kind of seduction; and you should respect shyness, because it feels like bullying when people who are more outgoing force you to do things you don't want to do. Getting a boner doesn't mean he is into boys; he's going through puberty, and that can happen very easily at his age.
I'm cautious with your post; because I will not encourage young people your age to go after others in a sexual-way. Especially when you describe the person to be shy, younger than you; and you don't know if he is into boys.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2022): Hi QueenCupcake -
First of all it looks like I am listed as a male instead of a female. So my fail there I guess. For the record I am a girl.
Second of all, on your advice, I don't like being called shallow but I think you made a really good point. My first thought was I want to see him without a shirt and have sex with him. It was all sexual. My second thought was oh well he might make a good boyfriend too. So I think you were right about where I was coming from when I wrote the message.
On an update, he texted me "I like you too." I don't know what that means and now I am feeling guilty about wanting to use him for sex only (unless he wants that). I think your advice is the best. Maybe date. Maybe get to know him. Maybe get him out of his shirt. Limit it to making out and no sex. How honest should I be with him about my sexual attraction though?
Do you think he likes when I call him Spidey? He gets so red in the face but he smiles a very cool grin I have never seen on him. Maybe it is his horny smile. Maybe it turns him on. He is so shy it is hard to tell.
Well I think you gave me some good advice and I am glad you cooled my jets and made me stop and think about his side of it. It was a very selfish shallow post. I still want to seduce him but I will be a good girl I guess.
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A
female
reader, RitaBrown +, writes (2 June 2022):
Is this guy gay as well? If he isn't, then you're probably barking up the wrong tree.
If he is gay then perhaps try a less "predatory" approach. Rather than copping a feel try holding his hand.
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A
female
reader, QueenCupcake +, writes (2 June 2022):
I think you should make sure that you know what you want from him first. A steamy occasional bang, or a serious relationship? Yes, you say he is kind and could be a thoughtful boyfriend, but it just sounds really generic, and like an excuse to cover up your shallowness.
Maybe you should just take the time to get to know him romantically. Figure out what he wants in a woman. You also need to be clear about what you want with him as well, it wouldn’t be fair to mess him around
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A
male
reader, Letligon +, writes (2 June 2022):
ok, so I realized you are number one under the age of 18, and second, you want to seduce another man..... it's gonna be a tough one I tell you, is he gay? if he isn't as a straight man I will tell you it is impossible to seduce him, ain't no straight man interested in something up their behind. if he is gay, talk to him, let him know you like him don't pussy out and try to come off as friends and try to hit on him that way, never works and if so it does rarely, go to him tell him something as simple as your eyes... their beautiful spark some sort of sexual interest that makes him know you want him more than just a friend, so many things you can do but even if you do I wouldn't know if his parents are ok with him dating a guy, you have so many obstacles to overcome.
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