A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I went to EDC a couple weekends ago with my brother and ended up chatting with a girl during a set, she's about 6-7 years younger than me. We hit it off and I got her Instagram so I could potentially send her a message at some point in the future. A bit later she asked me for my phone number when she left to meet up with her friends (I stayed with my brother, it was his birthday).The following day I texted her and she texted back that if I'd like to hang out again during a set that day. I said sure, we exchanged a couple more messages and we saw each other that night. It was pretty flirty and playful. She then asked my brother to take a picture of us. Unfortunately, it turns out that she lives in Switzerland. I live in Vegas. And not only that, she told me she had a boyfriend that night we met again. He didn't go to EDC with her. The day after, she texted me saying she had a great time and asked me what I thought of the last day and said she'd like to keep in touch and that if I'm ever in Europe to let her know so we can see each other again. I just posted a few pics of EDC on my Instagram and within minutes she liked them. I'm not going to lie and admit I've perused her Instagram and cannot find one recent picture of her with another guy that's not labeled "best friends."Is there a remote possibility that she made up a boyfriend just to be safe? Or maybe he exists but she's keeping me around? Maybe she just wants a pen pal? I don't know. And I don't know if I should post the picture my brother took of us on Instagram, she already sent it to me. And yeah, I realize this is all kind of moot considering she lives in Switzerland but a guy can dream right? She is very beautiful and I had a fantastic time hanging out with her. Thank you for any help and I hope you're having a great week!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2022): Lol...American men bold and straightforward??
May be when it comes to business but not to love matters. Traveling around the world and mering all kind of men I concluded that American men are the most undisive beating around the corner, unsure of what to do men on earth.
With that said , stop wondering. Women like when men take charge. Why don't you ask her and tell her ? I had a guy once who just asked where he stands with me . At that time I was young and surrounded by battalion of men.
I ended up marrying this guy and still 30 years and 2 kids later we are together.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2022): No, she didn't make it up. Trust her on her word, if she says she has a boyfriend. Even if your ego wants to dismiss it. She set a boundary, therefore a gentleman should respect it.
She made herself an American-friend, and had some fun while she was there in Vegas. I would assume she does want a pen-pal, and added you as one of her contacts; considering you didn't mention an actual romantic-exchange between you. Just because you might have flirted, and she didn't deflect your pass; doesn't mean she was interested. She politely let it go, and continued to enjoy the company. She knew she wasn't going to do anything; so there was nothing wrong with being friendly and taking pictures on with local people she met on holiday.
You might have flirted, but she probably assumed that's just how bold we American men are, forward and flirtatious with females. Women tolerate it to a degree, but most men don't give them much choice. You were friendly, and she's the friendly outgoing type of person. It could be misconstrued that she's romantically interested; but that's often the problem attractive-women have when they try to be friendly.
She lives in Switzerland, and if you can only communicate with her on romantic terms; then don't bother interacting online. She told you she had a boyfriend for a reason; if you don't wish to accept that, or respect her boundaries; don't waste either of your time. If you won't, I'm sure she'll just block you.
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A
female
reader, QueenCupcake  +, writes (2 June 2022):
 I think her telling you she has a boyfriend, whether she does or not, it’s just her way of shutting you down, and making sure you don’t get too attached. She probably only sees you as a bit of holiday fun, but now has to return back to reality. If you can handle being just friends, then keep in touch with her. But if you know that you’re going to want more, then respect what she said, even if it isn’t true
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A
female
reader, QueenCupcake +, writes (2 June 2022):
I think her telling you she has a boyfriend, whether she does or not, it’s just her way of shutting you down, and making sure you don’t get too attached. She probably only sees you as a bit of holiday fun, but now has to return back to reality. If you can handle being just friends, then keep in touch with her. But if you know that you’re going to want more, then respect what she said, even if it isn’t true
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (2 June 2022):
 My advice: save yourself future heartache and let this girl go. Not only does she live an unrealistic distance from you to be able to maintain a relationship, apart from a bit of flirting, she has not indicated she is looking for a relationship with you. Whether the boyfriend is real or imaginary, the bottom line is the same: she is not interested in your romantically. I suspect the boyfriend being mentioned was her way of friend zoning you and making it clear nothing else was on offer. Sure, she enjoyed your company, even having a bit of a flirt with you, but she's not interested in anything more.
You two are not suited purely because you have very different agendas. As I said, save yourself future heartache, put this in the bank of pleasant memories and move on. Find yourself someone who is free to have a relationship and who lives close enough for you to meet up regularly. I'm sure there must be plenty of suitable girls in Vegas.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 June 2022):
 I don't think most women would want to meet up with a guy and then proceed to tell him she has a BF. I don't think THAT would make any women feel safer. Maybe that is just my opinion.
She might not POST about her BF on Instagram. It might be a new relationship, or he might NOT want to be Insta-fodder.
Or she doesn't have one, but SAYINg out loud that she has a BF means that SHE will have to "behave" and not have sex with strangers. Who knows? Though I will say, if she didn't feel annoyed or threatened by you, there would be zero reasons to mention a BF. And she wanted to see you again and was flirty, so I think the latter is out of the question.
My guess? She found you attractive, she enjoyed your company and she found someone she could be flirty with, while still maintaining some sort of boundaries. She got to have a little holiday flirt. (As in flirt but nothing more.)
There are 2 major things that are working against you, HER having a BF (potentially) and HER living in Switzerland.
If I were you I would keep my "romantic expectations and fantasies" to an absolute minimum with this one. Treat her like any other acquaintance who has a partner.
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