A
female
age
30-35,
*ubyrose
writes:so was plannign on saying this to my guy at the end of the date tonight as we were sitting in the car:"theres something i need to tell you because its been on my mind- last time i think i got a little caught up in the moment with taking my bra and top off (while we were making out) but i dont want you to get your expectations up- i enjoy messing around with you and i am enjoying getting to know you, but for various reasons i dont rush into anything below the belt, especially sex ...i just want to be upfront with you so if you're not ok with taking it a bit slow, then i'd rather you walked away now than later on"...but i pretty much chickened out in saying it, and instead turned him down on an offer to come inside for what would have been a bit of a make out session...now what do i do? im not sure where our next date will be- might be over at his house watching a movie.. i imagine its not a good thing to tell him this before we make out.. but instead should just push his hands away if they wander down stairs at all.. should i tell him after our make out as we're lying and cuddling??heeellllpp pleaseeeim 21, been seeing this guy for about 2 months- first "relationship"; so it is important for me to go slow with him because i dont believe in sex before love
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female
reader, rubyrose +, writes (29 November 2010):
rubyrose is verified as being by the original poster of the questionso i just want to get a general idea of whether or not i got my point across with my guy-- i kind of am really awkward with the serious stuff and couldnt work up the courage to say what i wanted, but instead i bassically said "i dont want to get your expectations up, but can we go slow? i know some guys arent ok with it.." he said it was ok..
do you think he understood?
he took my top off while making out by his own accord... should i have let this happen - im ok with it, but does it send the wrong message?
A
female
reader, rubyrose +, writes (24 November 2010):
rubyrose is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoki, cool= thanks !
just hypothetically our next date may possibily be at his house because we get lazy to go out sometimes... so i assume i have to bring this up before we start making out etc, is he going to take this personally?
(guys give me your thoughts/experience!)
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A
female
reader, Adorskable  +, writes (24 November 2010):
 You should tell him you want things slow, and most definitely tell him before you take your bra off because if your getting topless while making out both his heads are going to think its time to party.
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A
female
reader, rubyrose +, writes (24 November 2010):
rubyrose is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell.. he knows im shy, and it did say on my dating profile that i need someone who is willling to goslow- but we havent explicitly talked about it..
i know i need to tell him, is it ok to tell him just before we make out? or should i wait until after?
also. was it right of me not to go back to his after our date?
and what should i do about having my top/bra off in future while making out?
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (24 November 2010):
 Perfectly reasonable thing to say. Don't be a chicken, just tell him whenever you like.
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