A
female
age
30-35,
*upcakey17
writes:I need some serious help here. I'm 17 yrs old, a junior in high school and I have never been on a date or kissed in my entire life. I don't know anything about boys. Also, I'm a "social outcast". I don't have any let's hang out friends. I spend my weekends alone, at home instead of going to movies, parties and sleepovers. Nobody has ever invited me to any of those. I have been to a few parties but those were school sponsored. I have had only one of those let's hang out friends sophomore year and she was a year younger than me but it seems like we're not friends anymore. I don't know why. And her birthday party was the only one in high school I've been to where a student invited me. There have been a few boys eho claimed they liked me or asked me out but I turned them all down because they were losers. My mom says that I'm a shy person. I don't know how to start a conversation because I don't know what to talk about. Before my freshman year in high school I lived in a different town. It seems like the town I currently live in is a rich town with rich and snobby ppl and my family is not doing so well on the money side. I don't have any video games at all and I lost my iPod so I guess the students will probably think I'm no fun. There are a few students at my school who seem like they could be my friend and are very nice but we only see each other at school, we never actually hung out. This problem has not just occured in high school. It has been like this even in my old town where I would have a few ppl who could be my friends but never hang out and where I'd have only 1 BFF I'd actually hang out with. Plz help me! How do I move up the social ladder when I'm at the way bottom? I'd like a date for the prom, too! Also, I am in a few clubs at school.
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (6 January 2011):
 Why not try and be one of the 'let's hang out' friends? Why not reconnect with your old ones and actively meet new friends? In your clubs or in your other classes. Surely you must be able to strike up conversation with at least one of them? Be active about it. If that does not work, just keep being friendly, try and get past your shyness.
Just talk about anything with them, the classes, the teachers, start small and then go wherever the conversation leads. You are bound to make some good friends that way. That is how I made a very good friend, he was friendly and even though we have our immense differences, I realize we also have uncanny similarities and those are the things that will carry on and stay with you past school.
I hope that helps.
A
male
reader, KamiCrazy  +, writes (6 January 2011):
Being yourself is really important, but it seems that you also need to take a few risks and get to know people.
Just make idle chatter with people at school, at your clubs etc, eventually you'll find someone who will respond back and you'll start making friends that way.
All these things you list about why the other kids don't like you, they aren't important things once people find that you are a nice person and enjoyable to hang out with.
I know how hard it is sometimes to simply do something like keep a conversation going, I'm a shy introverted person myself.
My only word of caution is try not to be too obvious, you'll get the kids talking with your sudden change of behaviour. Unless there is also a sudden change in appearance...
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A
female
reader, LostInMyself +, writes (6 January 2011):
 Hehe! :) oh HS years! Well, being kissed or going out on a date does not have anything to do with being popular or being in a social ladder! =) I am a very shy person, and I used to have the same probs. One day I said, well they have to take me as I am! I know you may feel lonely, but try meeting kids from the clubs at school you joined, that share your interests.
For example, I met one of my greatest friends at an art club in HS she was wearing a shirt from a video game I loved and I told her that was a cool shirt! and asked where she got it from..and BOOM! :) We are in college, miles away and we still talk to each other.
Don't worry about being popular, just enjoy HS! Try to make real connections with real friends and people that love you, and that love hanging around you! Dont worry about being shy, just be yourself and always try to be nice and pleasant and everything will resolve by itself! You will meet great people through your life, and dating, friends and partying... Do not despair! there is WAY plenty of that on college!!! So just get ready and start loving yourself first, going out there and doing what you enjoy and be ope to meeting people, opportunities will come around =)
Oh another useful tip I got when I was in HS, is to feel good about myself, for example I loved art so I started taking more lessons, and improving on it. Also I got a makeover and made my OWN style that I would feel comfortable with. Be yourself, explore and embrace it!There is more things to life then being in a HS social ladder, get out there , be open, and be yourself and you can get real meaningful connections! :D I'm sure in senior year and in college you will meet SO many people and have great experiences!
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A
male
reader, KamiCrazy +, writes (6 January 2011):
Being yourself is really important, but it seems that you also need to take a few risks and get to know people.Just make idle chatter with people at school, at your clubs etc, eventually you'll find someone who will respond back and you'll start making friends that way.All these things you list about why the other kids don't like you, they aren't important things once people find that you are a nice person and enjoyable to hang out with.I know how hard it is sometimes to simply do something like keep a conversation going, I'm a shy introverted person myself.My only word of caution is try not to be too obvious, you'll get the kids talking with your sudden change of behaviour. Unless there is also a sudden change in appearance...
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A
male
reader, mdw  +, writes (6 January 2011):
www.YourCharismaCoach.com read his free ebook it might help you out a bit
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A
female
reader, lija30 +, writes (6 January 2011):
 What come on .....Get out the box you in and be you... Embrace what makes you different and find people who have similar interests........kids are so weak now, its crazy ..... be you own trendsetter...you dont have to go around looking for friends..who cares.....come close to the screen ....these people wont matter when you are older ...do you understand....you wont even know these people....none of them ...save yourself some grief...do your homework. enjoy being different and embrace it.....and when school is over and done ..... go to college and knock their socks off.....be yourself...dont worry about nobody else ...screw them ...*screw them.....*good luck hun*..
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