A
female
age
30-35,
*anesha
writes:my boyfriend likes to smoke but i dont want him to smoke.every now and then so i permitted him to smoke once in 2 months..but he cant wait...for him smoke is more important than me..i said him that i dont need him if he cant live without smoke...what to do to make him realise that im mre important than anyother thing Reply to this Question
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male
reader, zelgamer  +, writes (15 September 2008):
 I'm a smoker and my fiance' doesn't like me smoking either. I want to quit and have been trying, but it's hard. Very hard, the physical addiction last for 3 days, after that it's a mental addiction, and that's a life long battle for some. For someone to quit, they want to have to quit, he's putting some effort, but something that has helped me greatly, though I still give in sometimes, is, if I don't smoke, my fiance' doesn't eat icecream, she loves icecream, but she gets terribly sick and feels horrible afterwords, so, it's a little motivation to me, so maybe try compromising with him, that might help.
A
male
reader, Locarios +, writes (15 September 2008):
You wish him to see that you are incredibly important to him - how important is he to you? While there are benefits to not smoking (in fact, nothing good every comes from it), it sounds like you are not so concerned about his health as about controlling his actions. So we have two different questions here - how do you stop your boyfriend from smoking, and how do you make him realize that you are the most important thing in his life... Realize, first, that smoking is an addiction, and a particularly fiendish one (the relapse rate is higher than heroin). If you truly wish to help him to quit smoking, educate yourself and and then him. Point out the health benefits (are you planning on being together for a lifetime? Does he want for you to have to deal with the later life coughing and possibly cancer? Does he want to deal with it himself?) Find methods to help him quit. Do not link it with how important you are to him - it's a false comparison, his smoking has nothing to do with his love for you. Find other relaxing moments that can entice him away from the habit - and be prepared for some very bad moods as he withdraws. The second question - How to make him realize that you are the most important thing in his life... What do you do that's special for him? Is just you being you enough of a joy? It's very difficult to even become the most important person in someone else's life - it takes time, commitment, mutual respect, and a lot of hard work. Spend time together, talk to each other, do things you both enjoy. The relationship will grow and someday it will happen. Don't expect a magic moment where it happens without some work. http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/smokingcessation.htmlhttp://www.sciencentral.com/video/2008/04/10/nicotine-like-heroin/
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (15 September 2008):
 Hang on a mo, you dated a guy that smokes even though you dont like it? This is a no brainer really, if you dont like him smoking and HE wants to smoke, then its not going to work is it. Its not as black n white as smoking being more important than you.I dont like drugs, i wouldn't get with someone that does drugs. I certainly wouldn't expect them to stop because of me. Thats why we shouldn't date the first person that shows an interest, we should date people we have things in common with, and most people have bounderies they stick to. Mine is drugs, yours sounds like smoking. All this changing people is a real bad idea, and likely to fail long term unless people change for themselves because they want to and are ready to.C xxx
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A
female
reader, miss know it all +, writes (15 September 2008):
you cant keep giving him ultimatums like this cos in the long run he will get sick of you keep nagging at him. If he wants to quit smoking then the best thing for him to do is limit himself to a few cigarettes a day and that will really help him quit theres also some tablets he can get on prescription from his doctor they are called champix and they helped me get off them and i have been clean for over a year now. If he loves you then he should have no problem in trying different ways to stop smoking but you have to be patient cos its not as easy as what people think it is. Give him the advice i have told you and see what he thinks. I hope this information helps you to help him and good luck
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