| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm tired of my ex's crap...Well, now he's my ex, but we're usually on and off...The problem is he can't tolerate my past, any part of it, he analyzes, and analyzes, and blah blah blah...Problem is, in my past I was a virgin. My "past" were a couple drunken make out sessions with two strangers and a friendship with benefits... that's it!Yet he keeps analyzing... I remained friends with my former friend with benefits until my ex found out... but my ex analyzes everything I ever said to my former friend, every look, every situation, looking for proof that I eitherwanted to cheat or loved him secretly...About the other guys... pff, just analyzes to look for proof that I'm a whore with no self respect, who lets men use her, or rather she's a horny whore who uses men to satisfy her huge libido with any stranger after ten minutes of knowing each other... and of course, to him, that means I'll definitely cheat if I go out alone.I'm tired of his crap! He dumped me, and we're in a band together so we still have to see or talk to each other, I think I can deal with this, I won't have problems getting over him, but he keeps throwing stuf in my face and it sucks! It sickens me, it makes me wanna scream. He already has what he wanted, he dumped me didn't he, so he should be happy yet he keeps trying to hurt me. All I want to do is pick up my guitar, play and not have to deal with his stupid crap about my almost nonexistant past! We're not together anymore, what can I do??
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2008): Dear PosterThis guy is trying to humiliate you and he seems to be succeeding; DON'T allow him to do this to you; you are in control of your life, don't let him take your power away from you.You owe him nothing (least of all, an explanation about your past);Go out with other guys and try to ignore him and his comments; he will hopefully get over it and stop his nonsense once he realizes that it does not affect you anymore; but for as long as he notice that it is upsetting you or you are reacting, well he is enjoying it and will keep doing it; he obviously gets some nasty "kick" from hurting or upsetting you.Be strong and let it be like water of a ducks back; pretend it does not worry you and you could not careless about what he has to say; really try to be calm and in control about this; he is acting childish and immature and treat it as such.Don't let him take your power by allowing him to upset you like this.Lift your chin and SMILE.
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