A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 22 years old and i have been in a relationship with my 25 boyfriend for almost 5years what can i do to try and get him to propose. we always talk about the future, but i dont think that he is going to propose at least no tome in the near future, what should i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): It's hurtful to think about, but if he truly wants to marry you he will ask. I think that talking to him about how marriage is what you see in your future and you would like him to be the person at the alter is a start. When talking to him let him know that you want him to be perfectly honest (so he's not just saying what you want to hear as opposed to how he truly feels) and if he says I'm just not ready it usually means he wants to keep his options open. I don't mean that in the sense that he's waiting for some other girl to come along but guys don't think like we do he's thinking you are only 22 and he's 25, what's the rush. And ask yourself what is the rush, you've been together 5 yrs, he's obviously commited to you. Since marriage is so important to you, you should also want him to be happy to be married to you not pressured because he knows it will make you happy or simply because it seems like the next step. Just don't press the issue too much or you might push him away. Believe me I know:) Good Luck!!!
A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (7 October 2009):
 If you're ready for a proposal, then propose to him! If he accepts your proposal, then lo and behold you are engaged. But if he hesitates, or flat out declines... then you can find out why.
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (7 October 2009):
 How do you make him propose? You can't. That's up to him to decide whether he's ready to get married or not. Five years is an awfully long time to be dating however, so I see completely where you are coming from. You've got to consider how he feels about the situation. The fact that he doesn't think he has to ask shows you what's going on in his head. Maybe he's not ready? Or maybe he doesn't feel like you two should get married. Or maybe he is already reaping the benefits that he wants, and there's really no point in him taking the legal plunge.
Either way, you have to do some serious thinking about this. You might be waiting a long time, if not forever for this guy to come around. Sure it's five years, but you could also be wasting even more of your life by waiting. The thing about marriage is that women are ready when they meet the right guy, but guys are ready when they are in the right time.
So don't push for it forcefully, that will only drive him away. That's about the only way that I think you can influence his decision.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (7 October 2009):
 If you have to 'get him' to propose what is the point? He needs to love you enough to want to propose to you. Think about it, if you have to make him do something (i.e. he doesn't do it on his own) how long do you think it will last?
It's been 5 years and I don't blame you for wanting progress but unfortunately if he's not asking, it's for a reason...he doesn't want to ask. I can't stress enough that when men want something they'll make it known.
Life is short, don't waste time if you are not happy with the way things are. Bring this up with him the next time you guys talk about the future. Don't be demanding or give him ultimatums but ask him where he sees things going. After 5 years he should be able to tell you what he wants. If he doesn't know I would seriously consider moving on. I know you can't throw away 5 years just like that but if he is not giving you what you want and you have to demand it from him, it's not going to work out in the long run anyway. Better sit down now, talk about things, see whether you guys are on the same page and go from there.
The last thing you want is to stay like this and then one day he will decide that he has lost feelings for you, he's bored, etc. Do something now, it's bothering you and you need to speak up.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Confuzzled012 +, writes (7 October 2009):
 You can't make him propose. If he isn't ready, then it is in the interest of both of you that he not do it. You can't force or manipulate someone into making a decision this large and important against his or her willingness. He'll do it when he's ready and as long as he knows you're ready when he is, let it be.
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (7 October 2009):
 He will propose when he is ready. But you can try to give hints. For example
this will be a beautiful place to be proposed to etc.
Good Luck!
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