A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do I get my boyfriend to improve his hygiene? We live together so I know he only showers about once a week. The thing that I really hate is that he often goes for days without brushing his teeth. I've mentioned it to him before but it just causes arguments, and he can't seem to come up with an explanation as to why he won't do it. If asking him directly won't work, and dropping hints won't work, any ideas what will? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, 1busybee  +, writes (22 September 2012):
In regard to the boyfriend that has poor hygiene in general by only taking 1 shower per week and not flossing you can try printing out articles from the internet for him to read. Keep it short and just leave the articles around. Tis way the information is coming from an expert like an MD and not from you. Also youcan mention that you want to keep the bed sheets clean for at least a week and you are concerned that he has germs or worse getting on the sheets.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): I would suggest you find another boyfriend. I know that's easier said than done, but personal hygiene habits at that age rarely change.
I'm a "clean freak" - I brush two to three times a day, floss after every meal, shower morning and night and in between if necessary, haircut and manicure every two weeks, pluck ear hairs, trim nose hairs, etc., etc. I can't imagine being with someone who doesn't feel the same way about hygiene. If I meet a woman that seems less than clean to me, I move on.
If you're the type of person who wants someone clean (which isn't asking much) then you deserve better than him.
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A
male
reader, ramone34 +, writes (5 February 2011):
i cant imagine being with a girl without being clean thats disgusting
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A
female
reader, Blonde68 +, writes (5 February 2011):
I couldn't possibly get intimate with someone who didn't shower daily or brush their teeth.. Yuk.. it makes my skin crawl!
Start running him a bath, put toothpaste on his toothbrush, if he wants to act like a child, treat him like one. I would also be rather blunt and tell him that you don't find it attractive when he doesn't shower and therefore not prepared to get intimate.
You could buy him some men smellies... shower gel etc.. see if that works! Best of luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): I agree with the first anon poster.
A sex strike usually works.
What's he's doing is not sexy. I couldn't be intimate with someone who didn't take care of themselves on a basic level. When he wants sex, tell him why you're not in the mood:
His breath is rank.
He smells overripe.
He probably argues and resists because he's been made fun of this before and he's sensitive about it. If he's beyond shaming though, then he needs to negotiate.
Otherwise, consider leaving him. You don't need to put up with this. You are doing him a favor in the longterm.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): I can not believe that you have to tell him to take a shower and brush his teeth!! You are not his mother, you are his gf!I think he is old enough to understand and if you told him once, you can not repeat the same thing every single day like a baby or little kid.
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A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (5 February 2011):
 This seems to be a really common problem with the boys that i know around this age group. Why don't they brush their teeth? I don't know. I can't figure it out and I have tried repeatedly to find out :P
Tell him you like knowing he is going to have teeth when he is older :P Cos if he doesn't brush them they will rot and fall out.
Usually, though i'm not generalising this to your boyfriend, when asked "why don't you ever brush your teeth?" the boy in question says "I can't be bothered." But WHY can't he be bothered? lol. i don't know.
He needs to learn to be bothered and when you're in a relationship sometimes you have to make an effort for the other person, even if you don't see the point.
He needs to see it from your point of view. If my boyfriend doesn't brush his teeth I won't kiss him. I don't want his 3 day old grossness anywhere near me :p which sounds harsh i know.
I usually use the "I'm not shaving my legs ever again. If you can't be bothered. I can't be bothered." Just to prove a point.
Try not to fight about it though... approach it from a more playful way if you can, but if that doesn't work just be a bit harsher about it. It all depends on how much it grosses you out / bothers you and why it bothers you.
I really do just worry that my bf won't have teeth when he's thirty :|
anyway, gud luck! :) xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): Refuse to kiss him or to have sex! I am sure he will change and start brushing and having showers regularly!
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