A
female
age
30-35,
*arahisgreat123
writes:hey guys, I have a boy problem. There is this guy that I have liked for almost 5 years on and off and we have a lot of history. He was my first kiss. He and I have been there for each other growing up as our parents got divorced and we were going through difficult time. I just finished freshman year of high school and we are going to different high schools but we are still sporadic friends. Anyway there is a lot of history that I could tell you about but I will get to the point.I really like him and I cannot stop thinking about him. These past three days I have been going over to his house a lot and just hanging out with him his brothers and other friends. Last night we had a water balloon fight with him and his brothers and stuff and I was hanging out with him for a long time. We had SO MUCH FUN. At the end of the night we were in the dark on his hammock outside together wrapped up in towels and cuddling. Here's the catch. He is exceptionally horny sometimes and has an obsession with boobs. He always asks me for pictures of my boobs and on the hammock he kept trying to grab them and asking if he could touch them. I obviously said no, not because I have a problem with that but because we are supposed to kiss first and be in a relationship. It is just weird to have him just touch my boobs.But dont get the wrong idea he is SUCH a great guy and I am crazy about him. I really wanted to kiss him there on the hammock but he wouldn't stop trying to grab my boobs. I told him no and didnt let him but it was still in sort of a flirty way. But I want him to respect me.So my question is, What should I say to him to get him to stop? I dont want to just go up to him randomly and say something about it but if he is trying this again what should I do? I want to kiss him and go out with him and then he do whatever he wants with my boobs lol but I want him to care about me for me.
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boobs, divorce, flirt, horny Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): Tell him he's being a dork. Tell him if he wants to be your BF then he's really doing a great job of screwing it up right now and you're feeling like walking away and finding someone else. And mean it. If you threaten not to put up with something and then you tolerate it anyway, you're worse off than if you never threatened it.
A
male
reader, jay12toes +, writes (18 June 2008):
 well i think that the first thing you should do is get a relationship started, if he doesnt want to be in a relationship with you then he deffinatly doesnt deserve to touch your boobs. but if your going to ask him out, then do make sure you do it on a day when he hasnt asked about your boobs.
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A
female
reader, sarahisgreat123 +, writes (16 June 2008):
sarahisgreat123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno he and I are not in a relationship... we were in like 6th grade but it was anything real...
I definitely like the idea of just grabbing him and kissing him next time he tries this but that was my plan the other night too... but something him just asking to touch my boobs just ruined the romance of the moment.
is there anything I could say to him that doesn't sound freakishly controlling prudish and mean but also isnt too flirty that he thinks I am joking to tip him off that this isnt ok?
i told him to just give up because it was never going to happen and I had already told him the criteria. but he just kept persisting. i know he sounds really bad here but I am also bringing out his worst quality a lot here... he is really a great guy and i dont think he is just after sex. I dont think he even wants to have sex... just boobs.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008): Sounds like he's just after sex and if he still hasn't asked you out! well dosen't sound very good
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A
male
reader, jay12toes +, writes (14 June 2008):
so dose that mean you two arnt going out yet... if thats true then you should find out if he wants to go out, also if thats true he shouldnt be trying to grabe your boobs yet. i dint fondle my girlfriends boobs until we were going out for like 6 months. besides you two should be makeing out first, thats always fun. so i would say that the next time he gose for them, just grab his hands gently and wrap them around you and then kiss him.
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A
female
reader, sarahisgreat123 +, writes (14 June 2008):
sarahisgreat123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks that's actually really helpful (anonymous female) but what if he just goes for the boobs and then doesnt want anything more?
one time he and i were txting and he was asking for pictures and I said to him
"i would never do that for anyone unless it was a guy I was in a relationship with for at least 2 months"
and when he kept bugging me I said "well if you like them so much you should just ask me out!"
and he responded "haha no I would never ask you out just for your boobs!" which is definitely an appropriate response and he dodged the suggestion gracefully while still seeming like a good guy... the problem is that I have struggled with that comment a lot.
does it mean that he wuold never ask me out and he was just trying to be nice? or does it mean he just didn't want ot ask me out in a txt and that was bad timing and it would seem stupid and unromantic to just be like "ok be my gf"
you see my problem
btw if you want more detail on our relationship history (just for fun or because you think it would help you give me better advice) just email me or something. I love to tell the whole story!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008): hey,
ok ok totlly weird me and my ex bf went through the same thing....i did exactly what u did the first couple times then one day my bff told me 2 let him do it one thime then tell him there will be no more of that till i get a kiss and a relationship then there ALL YOURS (in a flirty way) and it totally 100% worked!! so i say one touch then lay down the law gurl!! oh yea no pics im not sayin he would give them 2 some1 else but if some1 else got ahold of them it probly wouldnt be pretty!!
good luck!
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A
male
reader, loveguru23 +, writes (13 June 2008):
Well by just assuming that he's a young teenager also, it's obvious that he's starting to get to that arrousal stage...alot. It's going to be difficult for him to focus on anything other than your body parts.
What you need to do is talk with him and let him know exactly how you feel about that when he touches you and tell him it doesn't make you feel comfortable when he grabs you.
Hope this helps!
Daniel Amis Author & Relationship Coach
www.relationshipadvice4you.com
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