A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Maybe I messed up by turning my teacher down,let me explain.Okay im 16 in high school and have a huge thing for my teacher.I posted a question asking for advice on how to handle it.She says she cares for me and loves me and we talk on the phone just about every night(not going to say what about ;) But everyone answered my question for advice saying basically saying it's wrong and she might lose her job if you take it further.So today she ask me if I wanted to go with her for lunch after class and hang out for a bit,usually I would love times like these but instead I told her that we should from now on just be normal student and teacher relationship and not to call me at night or text me anymore.She got pretty pissed but maybe she understoodDid I screw up or do the right thing?I want to call her right now and make up for it but I don't really know,please tell me what should I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008): If your the one I vaguley remember about being in love with her, that means you should care about her.
Unfortunatley her being your teacher puts you in a bad situation, but maybe you should just pull her aside, talk to her and explain the WHOLE situation. That way everythings in the open, she can say what she wants and you can get it over and done with.
However, DON'T lead her on, and stand strong. Your over 16, so do what you feel is right. If you love her, say you have to wait. Your old enough to make your own decisions.
I don't believe there really is a right or wrong.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008): Thanks nicole5178,
Your right a note is probably most inappropriate, it's just that I thought it was better if this young girl and her teacher had no personal physical contact unless it involves school work or other teaching issues.
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A
female
reader, nicole5178 +, writes (14 June 2008):
 You did the right thing. She's the adult, and she should have been the one turning you down on furthering things--she knows this. It's okay with her that you said 'no'. That's your right.
Also, do NOT write her a note like one of the other answers suggested. You and her have been playing this right so far: nothing written down. Any notes or emails, and her job is on the line. Please, if you really want to tell her that you still want to be friends like you used to be, but just not see each other outside school for lunch or something, then just tell her.
I think that it would be best if you just moved on, but if you want to let her know that there are no hard feelings, I think that would be appropriate. Honestly, it probably won't ever be like it was before, no matter how much effort you put into it.
Best of luck- Nicole.
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A
female
reader, taina1980 +, writes (13 June 2008):
you did nothing wrong... you were honest with her & tactful at that..she as an older woman needs to be slapped and after that they need to slap the cuffs on her for what she is trying to do... if she is mad with you so what? she is only pretending because she knows you are young & possibly naive & wants a piece of that booty...she feels you will give in... believe me if you do, this will turn ugly...im talkin lawyer cops jail judges media oh my god... you don't want that do you? my advice is cut all ties... get a girlfriend your age you can relate to ... stop letting the teacher manipulate you....tell her to go kick rocks! good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008): Drop her a little note/email saying that you were worried about her job and both of your reputations, so you have decided to behave a little more carefully from now on. Assure her that you value her friendship and your time together but you are afraid of the dangers that might arise between a schoolgirl and her teacher, and what an inappropriate relationship may cost you both.
I'm not sure about American laws, but at 16 you shouldn't have long to wait before you leave school and can contact her and resume your friendship without any problems.
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (13 June 2008):
 You did do the right thing. She will enjoy NOT being behind bars and be without you, more than she would enjoy being behind bars......and STILL be without you. The ending to a teacher/young student love relationship will almost never end well. You did the right thing, and the best you can do now is probably avoid her at school, maybe change classes, move forward (which will be harder to do if you have to see her everyday). Of course she is pissed, she is probably afraid you are going to tell someone about it. Her livelyhood is at risk here. She knows it. Move on. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008): I am proud of you; you did the right thing; I don't care if she is upset, she can fly to the moon; well done; you did well!
Do not phone her; don't allow her at school to intimidate you either
Well done, be strong;
we are here for you!
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