A
female
age
26-29,
*eenprobs
writes:I'm not pretty and i don't think any guys will love me because i'm ugly. Every girl that i've have known who had a boyfriend were pretty and then there's me who wants a boyfriend and to know what it feels like to be loved. People find me ugly whether it's my kinky afro hair, my dark skin and other stuffs. I was fine with my appearances but then my crush said that i'm very unattractive and i can't help put believing him when i look in the mirror. How to feel confident about myself?
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female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (11 December 2012):
 Firstly, as a teenager, these flyaway and mean comments happen a lot, and half the time the person saying them doesnt mean it! Secondly, confidence And a great personality are more Important than appearance and a person who cant see past looks is not mature. Thirdly, if hes mean enough to say it then he doesnt deserve you. Fourthly, youre only young, and when you are older and you are looking for an older guy, he will hopefully have the maturity to recognise what is really important. Finally, all guys have different preferences when it comes to looks! One mans trash is another mans treasure :-)
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 December 2012):
 My answer will be frivolous. Other Aunts have already told you and will tell you that that guy is a jerk whose opinion does not count, that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it's only skin deep, etc.etc.
So, I just want to talk about hair. Hair is important :)
OP, you are lucky and you don't know it ! Learn to appreciate what you've got. Kinky afro hair ?! ( Yeah, why don't you call them "nappy " since you are at it ). Afro textured hair is fantastic. Think of Rihanna ( remember the red afro ? ) Or Eryka Badu . Diana Ross . Pam Grier. Some of the sexiest women ever. Lauryn Hill, Macy Grey , and many other famous people - all very cool.
Not self confident enough to sport proudly a big wild sensual NATURAL afro hairstyle ? Ok, it does draw attention, it takes some spunk to adopt that style.
Then there are hundreds of things you can do to your hair, you can really get creative with all the locks and cornrows and weaves and braids and whatnot. I used to envy the black girls in USA, my boring European hair just HANG there .
Not convinced yet ? Irrimediably sold on straight hair ? I don't think it's too big of a problem, any drugstore is full of products to straighten relax condition smooth etc.etc. Afro textured hair, personally I think it's a pity, but this stuff must work since there are lots of black girls with "white" hairstyles. Just invest a few dollars in products, or , even better, in a visit to the beauty salon, get advice about what's the best length and cut. Pick a style that makes you feel pretty and comfortable in it, and enjoy the instanst confidence boost.
Make friends with your beautifully, richly textured hair , and they won't let you down :).
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (11 December 2012):
 Your crush is a jerk. He's an ass who doesn't know how to respect people and he's thinks he's God's gift to mankind. Who is he to say that you are unattractive? Dark skin and afro hair do not make anyone unattractive. That's part of who you are, that's a part of the personality that's a part of you and trust me OP, you are beautiful. Don't let anyone on this earth make you feel otherwise, OK?
Listen to me carefully OP. No one and I mean NO ONE in this world has can make you feel bad...unless you allow them to.
You are allowing your stupid crush to make you feel bad by believing him. Tell me honestly, what does he know? Who is he to judge you? Just because your crush didnt want to reciprocate your feelings, he said something hurtful to drive you away. Don't let him pull you down please.
OP none of us have any control over the looks that we were born with. We can change a million things about ourselves but we cant change our looks or our height and we have to make the best of that. Be confident of yourself, you're still very young and when the time is right, you WILL have a boyfriend...someone who will love every inch of your beautiful skin colour and your hair and every little thing about you. Till then, don't let anyone get you down. Believe in yourself, be confident, stand up straight and tall and look people in the eye when you speak. Remember, beauty is only skin deep, there are many, many other things that matter in life.
All the best to you! Remember, you are special and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 December 2012):
 First, your so-called "crush" has proven to be an a$$h@le.... so be glad that you're rid of him....
Then, look up "Lizzie Velasquez" on a search engine (Google or Bing).... and learn why people like this crush don't really make any difference.....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, chinana  +, writes (11 December 2012):
 Dear OP, its pretty sad that your crush told you, you were unattractive, but any guy who opens his mouth to say crap like that lacks manners and has a bad personality, just thank your lucky stars cause you dont need a guy like that around you and he doesnt deserve your attention full stop. I know it sucks but there are some narrow-minded people in this world who are just so inconsiderate of other peoples feelings and people like that you should learn to ignore, because you dont want the opinion of some dushbag to bring you down. Also you should realise that when someone you like doesnt like you back its not the end of the world (even though it feels that way at times) :), you just have to remind yourself that there are other people who will like you for you. As for the gaining confidence part, i would suggest you start by taking care of your skin and hair, look for clothes and outfits with colours that suit your figure and skin tone. Dress appropriately (not over the top) exercise and eat healthy. Take an interest in other cultures, learn a new language, look for a hobby that is affordable. make friends with people who will boost your confidence rather than diminish it. Smile more and be friendly. These are the key components of building your confidence. It starts from within. Confidence is not brought about when you have a boyfriend, actually when you have confidence people want to be around you thats also the key to being attractive, having a great and fun personality. Also, being dark-skinned and having kinky afro hair doesnt stop you from being beautiful or attractive, its those nasty/dumb mentalities like your crush's that has you convinced otherwise. I wish you all the best OP.
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