A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm interested to know how guys can fancy a girl without knowing much about her or her interests. I know there's physical attraction, but i'm talking about them actually being attracted and fancying you as a person...Because a few of the guys who've liked me i think how can they when i hardly speak to them and they don't know much about me!? And when i do talk to these guys, we talk about other people or things that are happening, not really about ourselves!?I've never found myself actually liking a guy who i don't know a lot about and neither have any of my friends! So how come many guys can do this!? What is it about the girl that they like? And how is it possible?Hope you can make sense of it and give some advice! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, freeme  +, writes (6 June 2011):
 Men can fall for hard for a woman they don't know much about based on many things. Yes, sometimes it is simply a physical attraction, but if you have had small conversations with a guy, some men might feel an intuition about the type of person you are. They might like that you smile all the time, or your sense of humor, or your disposition. They might like the way you look at them when you speak.
The initial attraction is what drives men to want to learn more about you. Depending on the guy and where he is in his life, that might mean he wants to get physical with you or that he sees himself easily falling in love with you. You just have to weed them out!
A
female
reader, HondaTohru  +, writes (6 June 2011):
 Here's the perfect quote to explain, from the book The Unbearable Lightness of Being, by Milan Kundera (great book, by the way):
"The brain appears to possess a special area which we might call poetic memory and which records everything that charms or touches us, that makes our lives beautiful ... Love begins with a metaphor. Which is to say, love begins at the point when a woman enters her first word into our poetic memory."
So for a guy to fancy you, he doesn't have to know you that well; he just has to be charmed by one single thing about you, and THEN he might very much want to know you better.
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A
male
reader, ironman777  +, writes (6 June 2011):
Hi - there is chemistry which takes over sometimes - you dont need to know much about the person, the attraction is there instantly and it doesnt really matter what the other person is into.
but if you want a long term relationship obviously you need to find common areas of interest - I dont believe in this opposites attract stuff - you'll get bored with that person eventually since you have nothing in common with them.
Also - if you wait around trying to find out a lot about someone then you are going to miss out on a lot of potentially awesome opportunities with them.
my advice is if you go to your faviourite activity like say running and you meet someone there you already know one thing about them - they like running so you have that in common - then you can start finding out more about them as you get to know each other.
You can meet random people and go out with them - it is a bit hit and miss however...
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A
male
reader, BJacobs +, writes (6 June 2011):
 I think its how the male mind works really. Men as a whole consentrate on the more physical side anyway And you dont really even have to talk about yourself to get to know someone, just knowing their outlook on life or opinions on certian subjects is a way of getting to know someone. Say you talk about someone you dislike, you most likely would say why, that right there alone tells a guy what your like. For instance, you hate someone because they are rude, the guy will know that you are a mannered person. After all thats what conversations are for, maping out someones personality. Anyways i dont know if this helps but i hope it did.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2011): its purely physical
- boys fall in love with what they see
- girls fall in love with what they hear
boys eyes get their hearts all confused when they see a pretty girl , maybe they think your funny or fun to talk to awsell.
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