A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I do not want us to fade.Basically, me and my gf, who lives 1hr 30mins away from me have been dating for over a year, we chat all the time, calls last 2hrs a night. We meet every fortnight and dedicate/spend the whole day with each other 10hrs. We do this every 2nd Tuesday, so once a fortnight. We always did Tuesday's, however I got a new job. I work mon, tues, wed. My days can not be moved. She goes to uni on mon, wed,thur,fri and she works Saturdays. And SundAys are not do-able. So when can we meet? We miss each other, and havent seen each other in a month now. I cant take a day off. We struggle to think of a day to meet. What can we do? How can we resolve this to meet up?Also, I really hope the distance doesn't make us fade apart, or make her give up.... :( Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Mark_25_ +, writes (17 January 2012):
 Hey,Firstly I understand where you're coming from, my gf and I live an hour apart and we can only see each other weekends. Originally once every fortnight and now every weekend. It also makes it harder as she can't drive. Likewise we spend 2 hours a night on the phone, we do everything possible to maintain the relationship.My suggestion would be try to do something in the evenings. For instance, on the Tuesday, could you perhaps go straight from work to hers. Obviously I'm not sure what time you finish, but even if it's 5 / 6, you could get to hers at around 7:30, (obviously earlier if you finish earlier than 6) and then spend the evening together. You'll end up getting back late, and might be tired the next day, but in the same situation I'd say that seeing my gf is more than worth it. Alternatively, you could stay over at hers, you'd have to get up early to get back for work, but again, I'd say it's worth it.Also, look at long term, how long has she got left of uni? - If she graduates this summer, it's not that long that you'd have to have this minimal contact. And if she doesn't, she isn't at uni for a long time during the summer, so you should be able to see each other a lot more, again at easter etc. You're clearly nowhere near ready to give up on her, and likewise it seems like she doesn't want to either. It might be hard at the moment, but the current situation is pretty much going to be the worst it's ever going to be. If you want to talk about it more feel free to message me :)
A
female
reader, emogurl321  +, writes (17 January 2012):
 Propose so she can be with you forever and you wont have to worry (:
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 January 2012):
 have you considered commuting?
you move halfway
she moves halfway
then you both commute
we just finished a year LDR and we were 2 hours apart without traffic.
Fiance still drives to his old home town ONE day a week for work (currently 2 hours up and about 2.5 hours home) but at one day a week it's doable.
should he have to go in 3 or more days a week we will move to a location halfway between our current home and his office so that we both share the commuting burden....
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (17 January 2012):
Hi there. It sounds like meeting halfway is about the only choice you both have.
Even though it doesn't sound like it could work when you just look at whole days, it might be easier to look at the actual hours you both have free each day.
Starting with the start times and the finish times of your average day.
That's a good way to begin.
It's very easy on the surface, to dismiss the days as completely unworkable, however when you look at your day start and end times and hers as well, you might see a whole different picture emerging.
You could be surprised by what you see.
You haven't actually said if she studies during the day or whether it's a mid afternoon start and finish at night.
It also depends on if you work normal day hours on the days you work.
So there's some potential for a solution there.
If you are both sincere about wanting to continue being in this relationship, you might find that you have more free hours in each day than you both think, to actually drive halfway to see each other.
To address this issue properly, you need to sit down together and have a proper discussion about all the options you have.
You probably do have many more options than you realize.
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (17 January 2012):
If it has been at least a year, its worth working on.
Can you each take a 45 minute drive to meet halfway for a short "encounter"?
You may have to do something extreme like make it a late night or very early morning, but if you can talk on the phone for 2 hours, then conceivably you can drive halfway to meet for an hour or two.
Imagine getting up really early one day to meet and having breakfast together in a city halfway between you two.
Either of you might want to look into getting another job that is more accomodating.
If your schedules don't change, how long will this go on?
Hope this helps.
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