A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:In April I found out that I was with child. I knew who the father was because I had not had sex with anyone but him. He was the first person that I ever sleep with and the same goes for him. We were each others first. We always stayed in touch with one another. Now the night we slept together he was talking about us getting back together after twenty years. Any way when I found out I was not going to let him but I did and he wanted me to get rid of i.e. told him that I just could not do it. So he said what ever I wanted to do he would have my back. But after that he stop calling and when I texted him he asked again and I told him the same thing. About two weeks later when I went to the doctor they said the baby was in my tube and that I had to go to surgery right away. I texted him and told him what was about to happen he texted back and said that he would be on his way in fact he never showed up or anything never called to see have it went. about two days later I texted him and asked what happen he said that he could not leave work well he was the manager so who would stop him he lied. So I just told him to never call me and if he saw don not even speak. His text back I love u and always will and don’t even think like that. But he never called after that and I did not either.How can someone that says they love u and leave u in the dirt?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell we ran into each other and i could not even speak he tried to explain some bs to me but i told him to hold his breathe and that i have moved on and moved him out of my memory.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (14 September 2009):
 Yea, with your having a daughter as well. That was always my rule with my kids. If we weren't good together, they wouldn't be good for my children. So I've kept the same where I wouldn't introduce people to them either. I believe the other way around only adds confusion. At least you found out about his not being good for you, before it came to the point of introducing them.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (14 September 2009):
 I'm sorry you know this jerk but am glad you know he is not worthy of you.
I hope you find someone who is. :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo he was not in a relationship, oh yes we talked all the time my cousin and him are very good friends. yes i can understand clearly want he was saying to me. we have always talked from time to time and he would always talk about us getting back together but at one point either he would be with someone or I would. it has been time when we were at the same place with our dates and later on he would call me and say how much he miss me and wanted to go out and do something and we would go out and have drinks and talk about what happened to us. I would always go to his house I would not let him come to mine because i have a daughter and I never let men come over unless we were in a relatinship for awhile. even though i knew him well he never met my daugher until she was about 10. no he is not for me at all gec is a low life and he can never say two words to me at all I thought about going up to his job but he is not worth it at all
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (13 September 2009):
 ...as, not are...
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (13 September 2009):
I think that you had a fantasy of him are who he really was because of your shared past. Who wouldn't want the first guy they slept with to be their Knight-in-Shining-Armour?
Love isn't a feeling, it's an Act. Love is in what he does, not what he says. You need to be very clear about what he said, and what he actually DID.
He didn't really treat you the way a person who loves you should, and you are probably better off knowing this before you commit to raising a family with him. I'm sorry, Dear. He wasn't worthy of you. XXX
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (13 September 2009):
When you two had sex, was he in any other relationship? Did you take the time to verify that he was not? Getting together after 20 years, are you sure he was referring to getting back into a "relationship" with you after that time, or friends with benefits, or reconnecting after a long time of not seeing each other? Had you been to his place as well, or had he only been to yours?
From what you wrote, my gut feeling is that he really isn't a caring person (wanted sex), or wasn't in a position to make a commitment to a relationship.
Either way, doesn't sound like he's the one for you.
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet +, writes (13 September 2009):
He doesn't love you. When you really need him he's not there. Just forget about him. You will be better off without him tearing your heart apart.
Cut contact, avoid him, and get over him.
Good Luck!
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