A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am in a relationship with a married man with children. We want to be together but he is finding it very difficult to foresee a way he can leave his children. Is there any advise as to who would be the right person to talk to to help him achieve what he wants with as little pain as possible.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2009): im in a similar situation the man is married but by a arranged marraige has 2 small kids is never there with his wife but says he will lose the children and she will take them back abroad if he divorces her i have called it off because i dont think he ever will i didnt knw he was married in the beginning and was already in love with him i dont thinkhe will leave hes told me he will im very upset but if i leave him to it if he really loved me he would be with me and sort the children through a court wouldnt he
A
female
reader, asian tealeaf  +, writes (27 April 2009):
 if hes willing to abandon his children, assuming there all young, then i would question whether hes the right man to be with! u need to examine ALL avenues in this situatiion, and analyze them properly. secondly, regardless of how u two got together, shame on u for getting involved. u should of told him, u wont get involved with him while hes with his family, as u dont want to be a homewrecker, and if he decides to leave them, he needs to have a marriage annulment paper in front of you to see that he has indeed severed his marriage. i am in a relationship with a most wonderful man, and indeed, well sought after by many who come across him. thankfully, he is very very loyal and according to all his friends, worships the ground i walk upon, because god help the woman who comes round sniffing around my man! i hate to say it, but it is woman like u who have no discrepancies and no morals and no compassion for the innocent children involved. theres so many men out there, but noooo, women have to go after men who are already taken and commited. and although there are a lot of men who are inhappy with their current partners, a woman who knows the man is in a commited relationship, however much shes atttracted to this man should have the balls to say no, i wont be with u, while u are commited to ur wife. at least u are not going to destroy the family unit, however unhappy the man may be. and after all is said and done, have you ever heard of karma? yea, it does come round. and with a vengeance. if he fucked with u behind his wife and childrens backs, what gives u ANY reason to believe he will be different with u? sad, how women think they can change a man. a weak man cant fix his the cracks in his nature overnight. shame me once, shame on u, shame me twice, shame on me. a fool is a fool. and a man who cheats is always a cheater. history speaks for itself. u had better reevaluate this guy full circle before u just welcome him into ur life the minute he dumps his wife and kids. dont use ur emotions. use the logic god gave u. good luck
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (26 April 2009):
 I assume he is not resorting to old, worn-out excuses here, and that he really wants out of his marriage but is afraid of the consequences on his children.
I'm afraid there is no right person to talk to him. Whether he will divorce, when, or how, is something he must decide. I understand that you want to be with him, but, sadly, there's a big thing at play here. He needs to sort all that out himself.
I think you want to see him take the steps he needs to take if he wants to be with you. Be very careful not to act in such a way that he will blame you for leaving his children behind. It seems you have already made it clear for him that you want to be with him. Wait and see. If things don't happen the way you want, leave.
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