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anonymous
writes:i had sex with another man..he was an escort..i paid him money..now he is blackmailing me for more money..which i gave him ..and now he wants more money from me..and he threatens to tell others about this experience if i dont pay him...it can ruin my life because of my work as a college professor in a private university..what advice can you give me to make him stop.thank you
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male
reader, bulken +, writes (6 September 2009):
Blackmail is only illegal if the party is asking for money out of your business! You are in a situation, big time! Now you have to get your self out. He could do what ever he wants with you'll experirnce, with out being charge or sue as long as the information is true.If he don't have picture's or video recording, then they are only accusation. I would pay him but before I do, I will make him sign a confidentiality agreement, letting him know that you would sue him for a large amount 10 time what you paid him,if he tell anybody about you'll! blackmail is only illegal if he ask for money!And it only about 30days in jail. If he is a low life, with no life, then it won't matter he could do 2years easy with nothing to lose.Think about what you have to lose if the information gets out. Job are very hard to find, with a damage reputation. Try to find some dirt on him that should do the trick!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2008): i read your story and i think you should stop this individu should be stop immediately black mail si unlawfull in usa does not matter you higher him for a service this is your private life do not let this person over control your life.It is not difficult to find anybody in usa actually .(phone number-id computer,email adress... ect....evry body leave trace.A private can do it easily and with some evidence to present to a juge or police
do not forget this m......r need to be stop.if you play this game u lost.
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male
reader, Damian666  +, writes (3 January 2008):
 i have worked for people in your kind of situation . It is sometimes easier to get the upper hand and keep it by employing someone to find out about him , personal life , way of life , work etc , This if nothing will give you an idea of the kind of guy you are really dealing with . generally a private investigator will do this for you and also give you some idea of your best route for dissabling his hold on you . i would rather put the money down that route than give in to him and trust me if you give in . he will without doubt do it again to someone else !! Really all you may need to get is a bit of leaverage on him and he will go away quietly . it will shock him to think you could if pushed get this information on him and he is only after a quick easy buck ! The violent route does work , but needs to be a once only sharp shock and hit him where it hurts , not move it to another level ,,, last thing you want is a dragged out mess .Mostly guys like him are cowards and prey on the vulnerable , show you are strong and forthright and he will go away .x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2007): I agree that calling his bluff is probably a good move, especially if he seems like the blackmail idea isn't his normal mode of operation. The point is that you need to make it his BEST option to just let this whole thing drop. Getting him investigated for his escort shenanigans could be a powerful threat. (And does his boss/employer know that he's doing this? After you found him through them? If he's doing this behind their backs, then that may be your answer right there. Tell him that you'll spill the whole beans to the escort service and just let them straighten him out.)But he might also be more serious about it. If the whole thing seems like he planned a blackmail from the start, (like maybe he's done this before too? Is the escort service already in on the whole game with him?), then you might be up more of a creek. In that case he's probably more prepared for handling a called bluff from you. Violence/threats aren't the preferred option at all. But the truth is that it can work very well sometimes. I'd only consider any of this if you know he's not working with other people in this deal. If you threaten or hurt him, and that means start off by escalating it a whole lot higher than he's prepared for, then it may intimidate him enough to end the whole thing right there. But whatever you do, just don't get into a situation where you've underestimated how far HE is really willing to go in this area. (And don't bluff him with something that you won't follow through on either. That would put you worse off than you are right now if he calls it.)Whatever you do about this, it's all about the options he has. Make it his best option to want to leave you alone.
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reader, Samutsen  +, writes (30 November 2007):
 Well you dont want to come out and you must have reasons for that. So I am not questioning your reasons. Let me tell you this: What is he going to do, if you yell him you will never see him again and you will never ever pay any more and he is free to whatever he wants to...-Since the only thing he wants is money, by telling your college management that you are fay and you paid money for his sex, he will not recieve addtional money...He knows it. -There will be 0 chance of contacting you again (contacting you as a friend or for a second sex for money etc)-he will risk drawing your anger and possible court case (for intruding your privacy etc I am sure there is law against this in the US)-And he himself will have in a way come out and as a male prostitute and he may lose his future clients..So he will not make good of his blackmail...So just tell him to fuck off. And stay away from these affairs in the future.
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reader, NewMod +, writes (30 November 2007):
I think the best way to deal with this individual is to beat him to the punch. By that, I mean that you need to come out about what you did. This will disarm the male escort--he'll have nothing with which to blackmail you.
I know that will be difficult, but wouldn't you rather be responsible for the outing than someone else? If you come forward, there's nothing that he'll be able to do.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007): your response is very helpful...thanks..he told me the last amount of money was all he would ask for..now i need to trust him and hope he doesnt ask for more..he does not work for an agency but i connected with him on an online chat male room..he does this on his own...i guess i need to wait and see if he asks for more money,,if he doesnt then i am ok..if he does, then i must either threaten him and go to the authorities or i must pay him more..i really am a bit terrified over the whole thing..i want to not have anyone else know about this situation and if i go to authorities they will know..please help..
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female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (30 November 2007):
 If being an escort is his business and he is blackmailing you do you have any recourse to go to the company he works for? How about turning him into the police. It is illegal to blackmail someone. I think if I were you I would take the risk of him telling because if you continue to pay him he will continue to blackmail you.
Is it possible to talk to your dean? Everyone makes mistakes. I think the only way to stop him is to call his bluff.
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reader, pgissyd +, writes (30 November 2007):
 First of all, even college professers need sex! Who would honestly care if you had sex with this guy? would it really affect your job? It wasnt a student, it was descreat, whats the problem? its a free country is it not?
Besides, does he have ANY evidence? did he film it? I doubt it. so why are you giving into this guy? it would be his word against yours.
Next, tell him if he asks you for money again you will go to the police, if he calls your bluff, then go to the police. Im fairly certain that even in the USA, blackmail is a federal offense, they should be descreat for you, so you shouldnt have to worry about the wife or your boss finding out.
Put a stop to this by saying NO.
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reader, Emzy1591 +, writes (30 November 2007):
 Report him to the agency he works for if he works for one.
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