A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ive been with my boyfriend for a little over a year we live together. I just don't trust him and just feel that he's not in love with me anymore. The lack of trust started when we first started dating. I saw on his myspace he was messaging back and fourth with different girls even though we weren't offical. I was with him everyday and night and hooking up which hurt me. He deleted his myspace and all the numbers of girls out of his phone willingly i didnt even tell him to. Then i find this picture in his dresser of a woman . He say's that she was a friend from work. But he's not the type just to have a girl thats a "friend" Then we were cleaning out his closet and i found a box the "ex girlfriend" box there was all the stuff of his exgirlfriend from like 5 years ago they dated for four years and she cheated on him. And then he cheated on his girlfriend before me with the one from four years. Which has always made me jealous because he never talked to girls behind that girls back and that girl even cheated on him and he went back to her to hurt his old girlfriend. How do i know im not next. Then when he was working nightshift i went on his computer and saw emails he sent he was chatting with some random girl from a chatroom saying shes soo pretty. Then his past birthday his exgirlfriend called him and that friend from the picture also called. And i spoke with them both. Which i think is odd that their calling after all these years. Im with him every day and night we live with eachother and ive been checking his phone and email and theres nothing. This has made me so insecure and jealous. And for the last 2 months his been really unintrested in sex. I have a feeling hes cheating on me or has cheated on me . But it would be impossible because im with him all the time. What do you think i should do? How can i get over my jealousy and insecurity? Please help me.
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female
reader, Cupcake  +, writes (5 December 2007):
 I found out 4 months ago my fiance was talking to his ex behind my back for about 3-4months... I still am not over it and have talked to him about it a million times and have gotten all the answers i could possibly want, but i still wonder a million things.. "did he see her"... "did he say I love you" your in a tough situation, i can relate to you. And i dont blame you for checking his info, thats how i found out my fiance was hiding calls from me.. and i confronted him immediatly... You need to be able to trust him, and if hes hiding things from you then you cant... Confont him and get the answers you deserve... by the sounds of it hes not cheating on you, hes with you all the time.. I know men can make time if they want to cheat, but can you really see him going to work early or staying late just simply to betray you? probably not. But you really need to talk to him, because trust me it wont start to get better until he does, and even still its going to bother you for a while, if your anything like me anyways.
Good luck and I wish you the best... if you need anymore advice feel freee to message me. id be happy to help!
A
female
reader, YerMum  +, writes (30 November 2007):
 No - you're not being insecure. You need to talk with him face to face about these things and actually ask him about this stuff. If he gives a stupid answer you just don't believe then dump him.
I also belive he may have cheated on you..
but good luck =]
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A
female
reader, merrybeth +, writes (30 November 2007):
The only way you can get over you jealousy and insecurity is to face him. As harsh and scary as it sounds, I think you've come to a point where theres no turning back. You decided to look around at his personal accounts because you had suspecions of cheatings. I'm not saying it was the right thing to do, but explain that to him that your insecurities and his past treatment of gfs led you to that. Your only a human and we make mistakes, and apologize.
Now that you've fessed up to your wrong doings, nows that time to confront him about your suspecions. All of the things you found to suspect him, seem to me typical kinda of guy actions. They can have keepsake boxes just like girls. They can call girls pretty just like we can call boys hot, but not mean it in the way they wanna get with them. But that picture in the dresser.... meh not that great of sign.
I say talk to him, get everything out there. Maybe after the crazy 4 year relationship he had, it might have really affected him in a good or bad way. It's not fair that you or him should feel this way, so you guys should talk and work it out.
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