A
female
age
41-50,
*inko
writes:i recently broke up with ma guy because he cheated on me with my best friend.they both denied it and it hurt me so much because he took our love for granted and she also took our friendship for granted. what can i do 2 make them pay and see the pain they caused me?
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best friend, broke up, cheated on me Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tinko +, writes (1 March 2010):
Tinko is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx alot guyz. from what you have all said its clear that there is only one thing 2 do n that is keeping ma head up high n move on with life. i was so depressed and i only saw revenge was the only medicine for them bt later on i knew it was a damn thing to do. am happy now n healing my wounds. thanx again!
A
male
reader, spinnaker  +, writes (1 March 2010):
 This is what accountants refer to as a sunk cost. There is nothing you can do to recoup it and the only thing to do is move on.
What you do from this point speaks volumes about your character and not so much about the two pain dealers you speak of.
For example: You could go on one of those man bashing websites and use the anonymity of the internet to vent to the whole world what had happened. But why should you allow these people to maintain control over your emotions in such a way? And it makes you look desperate...
Cicero said that time is the healer of all wounds...what feels empty and horrible now, over time will heal. Do not be overtaken by your grief or pain. Forgiveness and moving on is more for you than it is someone else.
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female
reader, sweetiebabes  +, writes (1 March 2010):
 Caring Guy is right. Silence is more dignified, do nothing. With your silence they know already that you are hurt and caused you pain. Just move on with your life. Becoming vengeful is not a comforting feeling...I've been there and it was not at all an emotional satisfaction either.
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female
reader, boo22  +, writes (1 March 2010):
 The best thing you can do is pick yourself up and make for yourself a great life. Your revenge should be knowing that people like that have the morals of an alley cat and you've had a lucky escape.
Thank god you didn't have kids or marry this jerk.
Good luck sweetie x
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A
female
reader, iloveblue  +, writes (1 March 2010):
 My brother's girlfriend and his bestfriend did this to him. It was one of the most difficult times in our family as my brother is a very ideal, nice guy. We just couldn't believe it was happening to him. And he went into depression and locked himself in his room for about a month. He loved this girl so much even though no one liked her for him as she was not pretty, had an arrogant personality and is the one who makes decisions on their relationship.
And yet, she cheated on him with my brother's bestest friend? They were together for 4 years with this guy around.
What my brother did was very simple. Yes he went for a depression but he never did anything to them. Just left them alone. And he worked his own way to fill the emptiness. He never chased them or created fights. He just acted like he didn't care at all. But ofcourse he cried for weeks...only us the family knew it.
Eventually, my brother became ok. I asked him how he did it and he said..ACCEPTANCE. Then he met an amazing girl and within 2 years they got married. From time to time, this crazy ex gf would message him about random stuff but my brother NEVER replied to her. We dont' know how she always manages to get his number. He always ignored her. During his wedding, someone saw her outside of the church.
His revenge?
That he never wasted any of his time to these unworthy people after things happened. For everyone of us, it was revenge enough and a big insult to his girlfriend and the friend. She thought my brother would come begging or anything.
My brother is so happy now with his wife. We are really proud of him.
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female
reader, Aunty Rhiannon +, writes (1 March 2010):
 Yeah CaringGuy is right! If you seek revenge, Your showing how much it affected you and more than likely it will damage you even more if they're still dating. Honey, I can totally relate as it has happened to me... About four years ago now and the best thing i did was cut off contact with the both of them. It just shows what type of people they are and you do not need people like that in your life. x
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (1 March 2010):
You can't. People seek revenge all the time and it never works. There is nothing you can do to make them see the pain. You need to let them go and move on. If you try to get revenge or make them pay, you'll never be happy because it will never work.
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