A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 23 year old male with Asperger's Syndrome, and I have difficulty getting a girlfriend.I always end up in the "friend zone", and if a girl says she's single, I always doubt it and think, no, this must be a lie, too good to be true.I don't know where or how to meet girls - I wouldn't use Facebook or MySpace due to scammers operating, and work isn't a suitable place, most of the time workplace relations are frowned upon.Most of my interests are to be honest a bit "geek"ish - computers, cars, motorbikes, rock music, radio, television - so it makes it hard to meet women.I feel my social skills are poor, even when people tell me they're ok, and feel like I need to improve.this is a vicious circle I can't get out of, what do I do?Anon.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009): I have a cousin who suffers from Asperger's and he was faced with the EXACT same problems. After years of refusing to use online dating sites, he tried it. Within a few months he met his soon-to-be wife. Online his intelligence and polite manners really came through, which charmed her. Once they met, the emotional relationship foundation had already been laid by the open, online communication and they just went from there. That was two years ago and they are DELIGHTED to be getting married next month! The entire family is THRILLED! They were bashful abut admitting they had met online but everyone else thought they were crazy for not getting online sooner. Seriosuly - if we shop for houses, by cars and find just about everything else online, why not relationships? Look at it logically: Everyone worth meeting, knowing and dating who is a responsible, funcioning adult is working from 8-5 and then tending to personal responsibilities like errands, grocery shopping, laundry, housekeeping, exercise and personal hobbies from 5 pm until the time they go to bed. How on earth are you going to meet these people if you don't get a little help?!! I would encourage you to find a tasteful online dating site you're comfortable with. No one will mistake what you're there for and the "just friends" thing should cease. Really, my cousin regrets very much not doing that exact thing sooner. Very, very best of luck! Go charm their socks off!
A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love  +, writes (15 October 2009):
don't even thnk about ur ailment. 9 times out of 10 people only have a problem with things if its apparent that you have a problem. don't even bother mentioning in a general social situation. I don't care how pefect a person seems we all have insecurities. what matters is how well we hide them and make them a non issue. oh and yea if a girl puts u in the friend zone you go strait for the back door and cease communication with her. don't even give her a chance to call you a nice guy. its a game buddy and we all gotta play it or be played. good luck my friend
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A
female
reader, LallaZine +, writes (15 October 2009):
 It seems that you are frustrated which is understandable. I wouldn't use MySpace or Facebook for relationships either, so you are quite wise. I think that a girl would be lucky to have you, as you sound intelligent and also that you are looking for someone that you will actually care about. Don't let the Asperger's thing get in the way, Asperger's does not define you and so people will take you on face value for who you are and you character. Lot's of men your age are in the same position. Have you thought about joining a club or interest group, sharing a common interest is always a good start if you are looking for a relationship. There will be girls out there with the same interests as you and I wouldn't describe you as 'geekish' at all. Just a normal 23 yr old guy looking for a relationship. It sounds that you lack confidence...not social skills. Dont take it too seriously and try to enjoy yourself, you can have some fun with this you know. Dont label yourself as having Aspergers, like I said people will talk to you for being you. Think about joining clubs or maybe going along with a friend if you feel nervous. It's amazing how people meet, I'm sure you will find someone soon. They say that when you aren't looking too hard you find someone. So dont worry and relax.x
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A
female
reader, YourDestiny11 +, writes (15 October 2009):
 You need to get out and meet new people and do new things! You could go out with friends, go skiing, go to the beach, go to the mall, go to church, or go to a club or something, theres alot of things out there you can do just go for it and dont be so hard on yourself! Good luck!
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