A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I am only 15 at the moment and I have a slight issue with my self confidence.I know I'm not really thin but I don't think I'm fat, I have an hourglass figure and have a little larger reir end and thighs, which is difficult to get rid of, I do try, but chocolate and nachos don't help.I've always been a very sensetive girl and I don't let myself cry in front of people and over the years things I may of taken the wrong way and little comments have made me shy, I worry a lot, and lack a lot of confidence.I've tried to get my confidence up and I managed to for a short period of time but it slipped again and now I struugle speaking in class, presenting work, and talking to boys - I'm not after a relationship but it is hard when the basic everyday things make you go red. Is it ok to be a little insecure or is it a serious problem because a few teachers make out like there's something wrong with me. I'm just shy.I'm panicing my confidence will affect me in the future because a slight comment will knock it right down again. Does anyone know how I can get more confident? Soon?Than you for taking your time to read, all comments are much apreciated. xxx
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confidence, insecure, period, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Wise-dumb  +, writes (24 February 2011):
Im just like You. Except i havent always. Im still trying to figure it out. Anyway i think you shuld take little by little. Im trying it now. Its helped some....
A
male
reader, Jackalus +, writes (20 February 2011):
I don't think there is anything you can do other than try. Do different things like join new clubs with friends and hang out with more outgoing people maybe
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for your help, especially MissVee.
I really apreciate the time you all took to reply to my problem. I'll try some of the things you have all recomended and see if I can improve my confidence, I will try to stay in touch MissVee, thank you again everyone.
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A
female
reader, Party rings +, writes (20 February 2011):
The teachers are just a bit worried about how shy you are. I am shy myself and sometimes teachers ask me to put my hand up and collaborate in lessons more. To try and build your confidence join a club outside of school and see how you go. By doing this you will meet new people and you may start to rebuild your confidence more each time you go.
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A
female
reader, MissVee  +, writes (20 February 2011):
I'm going to tell you my most embarrassing memory, ever. Even more mortifying than the time I spent a few hours walking around Central Station in Melbourne (an extremely busy train station and shopping mall!) with my skirt tucked into my g-string.
When I was twelve, I was so shy. Exactly like you, really, too timid for my own good and hyper-sensitive. I'd morph into a puddle of nerves and fear if the teacher called on me (and my English teacher LOVED to do that because I was always great at English!) or if I had to speak in public.
It was in maths class. I got to sit next to my crush. He was tasty then, and is utterly divine now! I really, really needed to pee, but my teacher was a dragon, and the thought of raising my hand in front of the whole class and especially in front of my crush and asking to use the bathroom repulsed and terrified me, so I simply held on and held on... right until the very last moment when I had no CHOICE but to raise my hand. What can I say, too little, faaaaar too late. Absolute mortification... but I survived the moment and learnt to always speak up.
I've come a long way since I was that shy little thing. I became the notoriously outspoken captain of the debating team, now am a great public speaker, and one of the most confident people that I know. I achieved this 180 by reminding myself of one simple, almost silly little thing: Other people WANT to know me.
Smiling at people made them smile back, listening to what others had to say made others listen to what I had to say. Daring myself to break out of my own self-imposed prison one fear at a time... and if I can suffer the maths class mortification and STILL get to date the guy I was crushing on insanely badly, so can you!
This is what I want you to do: Go to your journal. Open it. Take one pen (I like the silky black gel inks, but any pen that writes is just dandy). On each day's entry for the next thirty days, write down one little goal that you want to achieve. Just one. Tomorrow's might be to raise your hand in class. The next day's might be to pay someone a genuine compliment. It will become second nature to you very quickly, and remember, it takes time to retrain your mind!
Remember, people WANT to know you. They WANT to see the soul that is within you! Please let me know how you go. I am very interested to see how much you advance.
I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS, CHICKY!!! All the luck in the world to you! =)
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A
female
reader, happyface  +, writes (20 February 2011):
 no one makes you inferior without your consent :]
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A
male
reader, dannn +, writes (20 February 2011):
I wouldn't worry too to much about it because in my opinion everyone lacks confidence from time to time. Advice that people have told me that seems to help is focusing on oneself (hobbies, friends, exercise any personal interests), and another is helping people. You're still fairly young so confidence will grow with time.
Hope that helps :D
You seem very honest and that's a good quality, just saying.
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