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How can I find out if my friend's brother actually likes me?

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 July 2005) 30 Answers - (Newest, 22 June 2012)
A female , anonymous writes:

I've known my best friend since kindergarten and we are now in 9th grade. She is one of 5 kids and her oldest brother is a year older than me. I really like him and I think that he likes me too, but I dont know for sure. I don't know what to do. I really like him but I don't want to ruin our friendship.

What do I do? Please help me!

View related questions: best friend, friend's brother

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2012):

just ask him

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A female reader, cocopops Australia +, writes (16 November 2010):

hi, i was in the same place as you i liked my bestfriends brother, he is the same age as me and my best friend is a year younger, i would honestly say dont do it, i told my bet friends brother that i liked him and it went weird for a while and i was angry with myself and worried if he would tell, but he didn't care about it which was good, i would say it depends on the person (the best friend) maybe she wont care maybe she will, you never know do what feels right to you

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A female reader, lautnerlove United States +, writes (10 April 2010):

lautnerlove agony aunthey im going through the same thing right now. You deffinitly dont want to make it obvious, but make litle hints. For example, ask to spend the night at your friends house soon. Get your friend to suggest to play truth or dare. Tell her before hand to dare you to kiss him . If he likes you back then he would not back away from the kiss but if starts acting all awkward tell your friend no! right in front of him then u wouldnt lose your friendship. But if you wind up going out and it ends badly then just tell him to forget it ever happend so you get to keep him as a friend either way. Good luck and take the advice.

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A female reader, stephaniee1579 United States +, writes (23 October 2009):

sort like you: iv been friends with my best friend since 4th grade and shes like my sister. all of her other friends always use her to get to her brother. her brother always wants to hook up with me but i dont want to be like all those other bitchy girls who used her to get to her brother. she said i could if i wanted to and i do but i want it to be more of a relationship then a hook up. tuff right? oh well, i say go for it, take a risk cuz if you dont youll regret it. i said no to a hook up with my best friends bro at first and we didnt talk for like a week (unusual). i thought it was the end and i regreted it soo much. then he started back at me again, but this time 2x more. i dont wana risk not doing it and regreting my mistake later on when atleast i would know if it was a good idea or not if i actualy do it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2009):

Ok...well I have a totally different story. My brother plays baseball. I always look forward to his practices and games b/c I am basically in love with a totally hott guy on his team. I am not entirely sure he likes me, but I know there is a possibility b/c he looks at me and smiles-hence-I smile back. When he goes up to bat or whatever, he checks to make sure i'm watching. I am totally into him...but he actually never talked to me or came with-in 5 feet of me! This makes me so sad...but I know I LOVE HIM! Anyways, go for it, ya know, you won't know if you don't ask! But it can be SO scary...i know what you're feeling, ot's ok to be scared...i'm saying just do it!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2009):

Dudeee, i have the same exact issue. My bestfriend has the most amazing brother EVER. Whenever i go over to her house and he's there i can't help but flirt with him, and he flirts with me too! I'm terrified to tell my bestfriend, she doesn't know, but i think she has a hint that we have a thing for each other. Even she said that me and her brother would be perfect together, but yet she finds it extrememly weird that we might like each other. He's 17 and im 15, im so confused though. I could never risk anything between my bestfriend and me.. As they say; Hoes before bros! :))

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A female reader, crazyemo Ireland +, writes (29 April 2008):

i'm in da same problem,i asked my friend 2 ask her bro fr me & he said kinda.u should go fr it and ask him out,

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2008):

I'm in a weird situation, too. I think my guy friend's older brother was flirting with me. I dont' know if he likes me or not. He's only a year older, but he was just dating a good friend of mine and I don't know if she still likes him. I don't know if I like him. It was just crazy.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2008):

Very interesting, I think the reason your attracted to this person is because he is so much alike your friend, they are siblings after all. If i were in your situation id wait it out and be 100% sure that he likes you. Then make a move if he already hasn't.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008):

i have a similar situation. I like one my best freinds brother. When ever im at her house he always flirts with me and i flirt back. I know that if we ever went out we would probably not be freinds anymore. It's the most difficult situation ive ever been in. and if i did go out with him she would feel like she was being used and i wouldnt be able to sleep over her house anymore or hang out as much.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008):

I have a slightly different problim, i like my best friends brother but i have no clue if he likes me back. My friend knows and is always trying to get me to tell him.But i do have some advise even if i'm in no possition to give some,If you have some solid evidence that he likes you the best thing to do would be to tell your best friend then tell him. If your best friend is a good friend she will understand and might even help you find out if he likes you back if your to shy to spill the beans.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2007):

Look i like my friends older brother he is the same age as me and my friend knows! I didn't tell here i was at a party and my friend guessed it and then this girl who knew goes "uh-oh". That's how my friend found out. But I still havn't had the guts to ask the brother if he likes me.

Call, email, txt or get a friend you trust to tell the person (with the brother you like) to tell and at least they might be able to hook you up.

Hope this have been of help (btw im 13)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007):

I'm in this situation, except its my friend who likes my brother. Its the worst feeling to be in my position, because you feel as if you are being used, if my friend or brother did something without consulting me i would feel so betrayed and our friendship would never be the same.

sometimes you have to grow up and choose, your friend, or her brother.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2007):

you should ask him. If he really does like you he'll admitt it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007):

Dear Whoever reads this,

My advice to you, would be... STOP! Do not make a move if you think you have a good chance at being friends. Think about what you would rather have. Him as a friend for a lifetime, or him as a boyfriend in which you would dump in a few weeks, months, or years. After that, the relationship between the two of you would be just weird.

If you think he really likes you and you'd rather have him for just a short while, then go for it. But being friends for a longer time would be my choice.

Go ahead and decide for yourself though.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007):

Dear Whoever reads this,

My advice to you, would be... STOP! Do not make a move if you think you have a good chance at being friends. Think about what you would rather have. Him as a friend for a lifetime, or him as a boyfriend in which you would dump in a few weeks, months, or years. After that, the relationship between the two of you would be just weird.

If you think he really likes you and you'd rather have him for just a short while, then go for it. But being friends for a longer time would be my choice.

Go ahead and decide for yourself though.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2007):

U CAN ASK HIM THATZ WAT I WOULD DO.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2007):

I need the same help. I like my friend's brother too and i havent stopped thinking about him since i saw him which was about 3 weeks ago. He is 2 yrs older than me.The thing is that he has a g/f and my friend says he really likes her. But she had a party when i first met him and he seemed like he was flirting a little because he kept following me and talking to me. I dont know what to do because i really like him but he has a g/f.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2007):

i wasn't in exactly the same situation as you, because i liked my older brothers m8, not my m8s older brother. Anyway i'd known him for about 5 yrs and had to move about 2 hrs away. So i lost contact with him, a yr l8r when visitng my nan i bumped into him and we started talking and harmlessly flirting, just like old times. Anyway he kissed me n so i spent the rest of my visit with him n didnt let my bro know. A few weeks l8r we broke up because it woz a long distance relationship n it turned out i didnt actually like him as much as i thought i did. We still keep in touch though and our relationship is the exact same as it woz before we started datin. Just for the record when we started datin i woz 13 n hes woz 16

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2007):

i have the same problem as you. he flirts all the time, and he actually got me to play strip poker...and i won. he told me i had an extremely nice body, but he's my friend's brother. and she's my best friend. i love her to death.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2007):

I like my best friends brother too. Hes a year older than I am. I recently called him and just asked him straight foward if he liked me or not. He said yes. We both don't want to be dating so we aren't, yet, but at least I am not questioning anymore. I'm scared about how this will affect the frienship when it comes to me being allowed over, etc, but other than that my friend has been really cool about it. I'm sure yours will be too. You can't help who you like and as much as the situation sucks, you have to make do with it. I hope this helps.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2006):

i have the same problem, thats so wierd. My best friend and i have been friends for about 2 years, she is the youngest of five, and her brother is two years older than me, i tihnk he likes me too but i dont know either, i think we should both tell them we have feelings for them!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2006):

I seriously need help. I'm only 14 but I seriously really like my brothers best friend. I did talk to my brother about it and he said back off and he thinks it's gross. I really don't understand. His best friend always flirts with me. Sometimes I think he likes me other time I cry myself to sleep because I just don't know. My brother told me he is not interested so i'm trying so hard not to like him but i seriously can't help it. I won't see him for a few days and then I am sad. Help me please. My friends can see us together but my brother can't. Is it just because it would be awkward if we went out. I just don't know.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2005):

i know how you feel because i am in love with one of my brothers friends and he is three years older than me!!! i dont want to tell my brother b/c we are really close and i dont want to ruin our relationship!!!! but im positive his friend likes me!!!!! he flirts and like always sits by me and i listen in on my brothers conversations with him and he even tells my brother he likes me so im suer he likes me!!! good luck and if it doesnt work out there is millions of other people out there!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2005):

Hey...i'm going through the same thing you are right now...but i'm 15 and the guy i like is 18, i've liked him for quite some time now...and i allready know that he likes me. My best frind asked him on a scale of one to 10 how much did he like me and he said 9.5....i don't understand why he doesn't just ask me out. Maybe it's because it's illegal :( i have to wait 3 years for him. And he'll probably find someone new. Really sucks for me. I hate the age diffrence. Well at least for you, there's only a year. Ask your friend to rate you on a scale of 1~10 and maybe she'll find out you're a 10! Best of luck to you. Take care.

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A female reader, Alison111 +, writes (8 July 2005):

When we like someone we unconsiously or in some cases consiously act differently towards that person than we do with others. Our inter actions stick out a mile - perhaps that is why you think he likes you too. However, it's not such a good idea to get his sister to drop hints or let him know how you feel. If he doesn't feel the same you wont be left feeling rejected and your pride will remain intact. Find out if you both have an interest you share and ask him along. Your instincts will tell you the rest. Good luck.

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A reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (8 July 2005):

You mentioned twice, that "you really like him"

I sense some desperation in those repeated phrases.

If he really likes YOU, then give him the opportunity to ask you out...don't feel desperate enough to throw yourself on him, because at this point, you are just friends & if he is not interested, he will shy away and you will feel rejected and withdrawn.

Explore your friendship with him, let it blossom & grow.

Hang out together and get to know each other.

But don't let him become the TOTAL focus of your attention, because it will turn into an obsession.

Life needs BALANCE, other interests & other friends.

If he sees you around other guys & gals, laughing & having fun, that may draw him to you even more.

You can also let your best friend (his sister) know that you like him are interested in dating him, and she can chat with him & see if his feelings to you are mutual.

If he truly wants more than friendship...believe me, he will let you know ...in his own time.

Be yourself, honey...take your time, and relax.

Enjoy life & don't let your focus be on just one guy.

All the best,

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A female reader, Wendyg United Kingdom +, writes (8 July 2005):

Wendyg agony auntMaybe subtly ask if they would like to go somewhere like the cinema or for a coffee or for lunch with you.... say you would like it if it was the two of you and see what they say.. if they bolt then you know they just want to be freinds.. but they could very well be interested and one on one will let you also see if this is a good idea... just casally mention there is a film you would like to see and see if they are interested too and take it a step at at time.. dont be pushy but if you dont ask you will never know.. at least this way if it turns out they are not romantically interested you wont have lost face as you only went to the flick and thats what friends do anyway.. at least that way you can seee how things go.

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A female reader, mamma +, writes (8 July 2005):

Ask him out on a friendly date but don't be all over him because you might just scare him off.Let him know you like him but that you wouldnt be devastated if he didnt feel the exact same.Believe me if he likes you like you think he does then he wont be slow in letting you know.he may be shy or he may just feel awkward because you are his sisters friend.Take it slow

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2005):

i understand what you are going through. I have had the same feeelings as you do for you friends brother as i have had for a guy i have known for 13 years. The best thing you can do is tell him. He won't rub it in your face if he doesn't feel the same. But more than likely he will. Just go for it, but dont go over the top as there is then a chance of losing him. I hope this helps.

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