A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Yes, yes. I'm sure this has been asked many times. I tried searching previous posts, but only found little girls asking questions and, frankly, found nothing entirely relevant to my problem. Sorry if this is seemingly redundant! So, now for my question: I've recently started to date a really nice twenty-seven year old guy. I like him a lot, but, unfortunately, there is a minor problem: He assaults me with his tongue whenever we kiss. As we went down our first journey on Make-out Lane, he immediately nearly choked me with his dang tongue. Of course, I realize some people become a little too enthusiastic in a fit of passion, but this continued throughout the night! It got to the point where I accidentally laughed once because of it and my own comical thoughts. Then I got a strange, perplexed look and a "What?". Of course, I said, "Oh...nothing...", as I was too embarrassed to chastise him for his indiscretion. Our kisses then adopted a weird rhythm and I began accidentally sucking his tongue, instead of a lip, because he was so gosh darn adamant of choking me! Though some people like tongue sucking, I do not and it made our kissing very awkward! He's a grown man and I don't want to make him feel embarrassed or pathetic. How can I tell him to ease up with out sounding entirely too rude? If there even is such a way... I just need some pointers to break this gently, but while protecting my poor mouth! Thanks so much! ;)
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (29 September 2010):
Hi there. As awkward as it seems to bring up the subject of how he kisses you, you are really going to have to be completely honest with him. There's no other alternative.
The next time he does the same thing (which is probably every time), just simply stop - and move your head away from his.
Don't get angry or have a go at him, just be relaxed and respectful about it, then he won't be offended or feel embarrassed.
Just say what you feel about it. Tell him how you would like to be kissed and actually show him how. While you are showing him, tell him to not use his tongue at all, and take the whole thing very gently and slowly. Just give him some feedback along the way, about how the "new way" feels, then go on from there. He will then feel encouraged to change.
You will need to do this - stop - then start again (the way you like it), for a few times, just until it becomes habit for him. Keep on reminding him, by stopping him (and moving your head right away from him), each time he forgets. If you don't do this, you will end up not wanting to kiss him at all. It would certainly impede your ability to get close as a couple.
You really do have to tell him honestly, but kindly. It's the only real way anything is ever going to change.
Hope this helps you. Take care and best wishes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the answers everyone! I knew it was a simple, "Less tongue!", but I just have never had to blatantly say such a thing! XD
You make some good points, Fordyboy, that I hadn't really considered. He's had a few girlfriends, or so he says (lol, being very inexperienced might not be something one admits!), but he isn't some womanizing cassanova. So, maybe he isn't as experienced as I assumed, which is truly fine by me. I'm not too experienced, either! XD But I'm glad to hear that in such a case, you would appreciate the tips. So, I'm a little less hesitant to say something now! Thank you!
Janniepeg- I was exaggerating a bit. XD Dayum well near close though! Ha. You really made a great point, though, that I hadn't realized. No, we surely have not had any sort of sex yet. So, I think he definitely is wanting a bit more than just some kissing. He's made some slight hints at this--nothing too pushy or anything, just flirty. Glad to know that this possibly might not wholly be inexperience, but perhaps lustful enthusiasm! Again, thank you!
Have a great night ;-)
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (29 September 2010):
 I thought tonguing down a throat is an exaggeration. How is this possible? You can tell him you are not a tongue person. He's definitely turned on by you. His expression means how much he wants you. Tell him you just want to enjoy the kissing, that you want your pleasure to be slow and gradual. You are still young and you have your whole life to build up that tension. You said you just started to date so I assume you haven't had sex yet. Maybe this is his way of telling you he wants some soon, but wouldn't pressure you into it yet.
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A
male
reader, fordyboy  +, writes (29 September 2010):
 I'm sure that if you just said less tounge he'd understand. I'm a 31 year old very very inexperienced guy when it comes to sex and kissing. I've not ever used my tongue as i find lips action and sucking far more sexually pleasurable. wouldn't know what to do with my tongue, and perhaps this guy is the same. perhaps he's never done this before and needs guidance. you could be the key to making him a great kisser here. I know i would certainly wanna know what to do to please my girl!!
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (29 September 2010):
 While kissing, two words...
"less tongue"
He's a grown man, he can take a hint without crying.
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