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male
,
*ROKENHEART_2006
writes: Recently got engaged but we argue a lot, she snaps at me. It makes me unhappy and I can't even tell her that I am unhappy. I don't know what to do!
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female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 Become assertive! Stand up for yourself!
You have my condolences.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): Hi Hunny
WHEN DID THIS START!!!!Before you got engaged hunny? and what do the arguments consist of hunny what starts it all of? Give me some ideas of what and why this all started hunny...And I will be able to help you more love as your unhappiness is not good...You need to get yourself back hunny message me ok and I will try and help as much as I can TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): It sounds like you maybe being emotionally bullied.Do some research online. It starts with nit picking then progress to critisism of almost everything you do. Be careful of disclosing your feelings as this gives your tormentor ideas to work on.Check it out, i suffered this in a past relationship, and was a bit lost like you as what to do. Once i read up on it i realised my partner had some real issues that couldn't be ironed out.Take care D
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): Sounds like she's an abuser. Most likely she's insecure. Very difficult to change that behavior because even if they realize they get angry all the time, they still tend to put the blame on you for making them angry. Next time she snaps at you for doing something just stop & say you won't do anything if she talks to you in that manner. She will get mad but she has to be conditioned to control her anger.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): It's supposed to make you unhappy. It's the start of controlling behaviour. Bet a pound to a penny you can't do anything right in her eyes. Remember this behaviour is used to control and destroy self confidence and self esteem. Don't immediately assume her criticisms of you are founded, you need to stick up for yourself, this is early in your relationship and you have to let her know it's unaccetable behaviour.Good luck
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 Ask her what is bugging her?
Dig and dig until she tells you what her problem or problems is.
Do not argue, just listen to her perspective . Say you disagree and let it go.
She is entitled to her opinions and sometimes you need to validate her feelings.
If it is just unimportant things, just agree with her to keep the peace.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): Why did you get engaged if you argue a lot? It isnt going to get better just because she has a ring on her finger. stop putting off the inevitable, talk to her about it and point out that you are unhappy and you cannot and wont go on like this any longer. Let her know, she isnt a mind reader and things could improve. If not, then look to breaking off the engagement and going your own happy separate way.
take care
xx
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