A
female
age
51-59,
*1 Advisor
writes:I have 3 boys 11,14,17..they are all good boys..but i cant feed them..they eat to much and me and my husband cant support them..we rent a home and work work work to feed and cloth them and provide for them but they are always hungry and need stuff and we just dont have any money..my husband works all the OT he can and i work for the state but they cut my pay and we dont have food or toilet paper and i dont want to write a bounced check and my family is pressuring me and it causes problems for me and my husband ..i spend so much on groceries my boys are not fat..i cant believe i live in America..we work hard aat cuz we dont have lunch money end our kids are starving and we cant make it..we even have to borrow .we r all borrowed out..do other people have this problem?? my boys have to go to school and they cannot eat lunch and we dont qualify for the free lunch or the reduced..we dont have credit cards we just use our paychecks to live but we cant make it..America sucks all your money so that you have to turn to a credit card..this is crazy ..can anyone give me advice
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reader, Candleman +, writes (21 September 2009):
You need to analyze all of your families cost and this has to be thorough. If you have access to a spreadsheet program like MS Excel, this is the easiest way to do it (www.openoffice.org has a free office suite that I use.) If not, pen and paper will do. Everything from doctors bills, toiletries, cell phones, tv etc etc...You will have to estimate certain cost, estimate high to be safe. Do the math and come up with a monthly amount your family spends.
Also factor in things like auto repair, doctor bills etc. Though you won't spend it every month, try your best to set this money aside, perhaps in a seperate account because all cars need repairs, medicine will have to be bought. If it is part of your budget then look at the money as not really yours, but someone else's in the near future.
Now add how much you bring in. When you subtract the two figures, then you must have a 0 balance or positive else you'll always come up short.
Now, if you come up short or you want to have extra money then start deleting things that you can live without. Cell phone, internet, deluxe cable tv packages whatever you currently have and can do without, cancel this.
Look at things like your car insurance. Call places to see if you can get a better deal on car insurance. See what all coverage you have and if you can do without some of it.
Gas is always a big bill. Keep your car tuned up to get the maximum gas milage (also to avoid costly repairs.) Look for the cheapest place to buy gas. Limit what you can in consuming gas by either not going and doing as much or pooling with other people.
Clothes. I personally love shopping at Goodwill. You can find very nice clothes at goodwill or other second hand stores. If this is against you then try to shop at the end of seasons (esp. at the end of the year) to get the best deals. Keep an eye out for sales. Look for places that buy in closeout bulk loads and offer great deals. We have a place called Gabriel Brothers that has the best deals I've ever seen on new clothes.
Limit what you spend on gifts and the like. Or, plan what you are going to have to give and look for deals throughout the year to fulfill what you have to buy (again the end of the year ususally finds the best deals.) Make a list and do not go past this. This should be part of your detailed budget that you plan. You can also regift what you get to save money.
Food-- Analyze your families eating habits.
Look up how many calories each member of your family should consume and plan your meals around this amount. The USDA has a nutrient databank online that is free and it list the calories of 1000's of foods. Now, each meal has a cost, if a 5 lb bag of potatoes cost $4, and for four meals you get potatoes for a side, then there is $1. Add the cost of all your items for your meals and you will understand what your family is spending on food each meal which then equates into your monthly food bill.
Remember that cooking all meals will save you a lot of money.
Try to buy wholesome foods that are not filled with a lot of empty calories. Research about food nutrition to understand more about this. If you eat a bunch of crappy suggary foods, then you end up feeling hungry which then you eat more. Not only will you spend more money, but you won't get vital vitamins and minerals.
Once you base your food consumption on proper calories for your children then cut them off at this amount until you can get your budget under control.
How to save buying groceries....
Keep in mind that grocery stores run specials on certain items in order to get you in the door. Then they make their money off of the other items that you buy. If you have multiple grocery stores in your area, get the weekly ads for the stores and see who has the best prices on the groceries that you need.
Even with the added gas, you can save a lot of money shopping the specials at different stores. I knew a mother of 5 children and she did this every week.
Only buy what you need. Do not waste food. You're throwing money away. Buy a turkey on sale and make a turkey dinner, then have turkey sandwiches or turkey salad etc. Don't waste.
Look for coupons in the Sunday paper. If a neighbor or famly member gets the Sunday paper, then have them save the coupons for you to save the extra $2 for the paper.
Look for stores that double the coupons up to a certain amount.
WARNING.... only use coupons that you need. Coupons can make you buy things that you normally would not buy which means you spend more money than you should.
Also, sometimes a coupon doesn't really save you money because it is a brand name item that you can buy the same store brand's item cheaper despite the coupon.
Perhaps invest in a large box freezer and buy more food in bulk which usually saves you money. You can buy your meat from a butcher that will usually be cheaper than the grocery store. If a friend or family member has a membership to the large bulk grocery stores (Costco Samclub etc) then see if they will take you along, or borrow their card. Once you analyze your food bill, it may be worth it to invest in one of these places to save you money. But, again be careful here because a lot of the things that you buy from these places are just as or more expensive as regular grocery stores. This is where comparison shopping will is important.
In the winter time, wear more clothes and keep the heat turned down. For every degree you save x dollar a month.
Be sure the everyone turns off the lights, computers etc, so you don't waste money here.
I know there are many other things that can be done to save, but I just want to stress again to understand your budget and learn where you can save money in order to make ends meet. It will require a lot of work. But, if you can get a handle on this, then you will be able to make the ends meet.
Also, your 17 years kid is old enough to get a part time job. I would highly encourage this. Also, see if the younger kids can rake leaves, mow lawns, wash cars or do other chores for people to earn money. Don't force them, just encourage this and if they take to it then help them. Then, they can spend the money on themselves which in the long run will take pressure off of you.
I hope I didn't burn you out. If you have access to MS Excel or download the openoffice suite, then I can send you my spreadsheet I use to figure my bills. It can be tweeked by you to fit your needs.
Good Luck to You....and PS...Please don't ever get a credit card. I'm sure if you do the work and analyze your situation you can develop a plan and make this work.
A
female
reader, Azure Rain +, writes (21 September 2009):
I am sorry that you are going through this. School lunch forms do not take into account all of your bills.
Have you tried buying your food in bulk at a Sams club type store?
My mom did this she also involved my sister and i in the grocery shopping. Some weeks we literally had $40 for food. She would explain that money was tight and we could only spend $40 including tax then she would make a list of what we needed, give us the list and a grocery sales papers and say buy the food. As children we took it as a game we searched through the flyer during the week to make sure we caught every deal. My mom was always working so she never had time to search that thorougly. On grocery day my sister and i would always end up with at least $3 left over. Once we realized how much food really cost we learned to pick generic brands over name brands. Say there was a 10 for the price of 5 deal on corn but we didn't need corn, we would get it anyway because the next week we might need corn and the price would be higher. That saved us a lot of money. We also learned that we couldn't snack all of the time. We would buy snacks only if we save enough money on sales. We became firm believers of left-overs too. The grocery game was a great learning experience that helps me today when i buy my own groceries. The boys might not like the idea of grocery shopping but tell them they can pick their favorite foods if they get everything on the list with enough left over to get them. I bet they will find every sale in the store.
I also think that the oldest should get a part-time job to help out. I had a pt job at 15-18 My mom never asked me for money but i helped out because i knew it was the right thing to do.
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A
male
reader, Eries +, writes (21 September 2009):
Look for an organization called Angel Foods. They have food boxes for like 30 dollars that will feed a family of 4 for a week or so. Also Id look into food stamps or even as bad as it may sound, your Eldest son may have to go out and find a part time job to help with the bills. With the other two trying to mow yards, or shovel sidewalks/drive ways for spare cash. Also look into recipes that offer the most for the money. Rice very cheap, and can be used for alot of meals and is very filling as well as healthy. Look at one month of bills and see what is the number 1 cost, then move down the list. IF your spending say 130+ for cable/phone/internet.. Ask your self do you really need all three? Or if your electric is the main question, enforce a cut down. Unplug/turn off items your not using. Im not trying to come off mean, just offering some ideas I had to do while layed off for 6+ months and having a child of my own. We had to move into a 1 bedroom with just a shower when she was three and we both slept in the same bedroom. She enjoyed it, I was upset with my self for having to put her through it. These hard times will put most of us to the test. And Failing is not an option for the majority of us.It also will bring heartache with your spouse and loved ones. One person can not hold all the weight, for things to work out.
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A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (21 September 2009):
 The first thing I can think of that you can do is to appeal to your local food banks; they are there for people exactly in your situation. Since you are on the internet, you can Google "food banks in (fill in your town)." Also, start shopping at Goodwill and Salvation Army for some of your clothing items. Also, look for discount food outlets in your area, clip coupons as much as you can. Have you looked at the possibility of getting food stamps? The food stamp program is for families with minor children. Your family sounds like you should get food stamps. Good luck!
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