A
female
age
30-35,
*avary
writes:This guy im talking keeps sending me non stop nude photos of him... they are veery explicit and wants the same from me. He sometimes begs for photos. I never have sent a picture but shouldi be worried? I have a feeling this guy is jut using me for my boyd and when we go out again it might just be all about sex. help? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Favary +, writes (11 May 2010):
Favary is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's not someon eive met over the internet. Ive known him for three years, We dated for a while and then stopped talking. We have now recently began talking but I just wasnt sure of his intentions and something about him now seems different. Im most like;y going to follow all of your's advice and just stop talking to him.
Thankyou everyone!
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 May 2010):
 Sounds creepy to me.
One thing you may never know is just how many people he can send any pictures too. And ... if he is sending explicit photos to you... chances are he is sending them to others girls too.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (10 May 2010):
 i agree with the others here. It's inappropriately sexual, plus you run a significant risk of him sharing the photos at some later date.
I would only recommend sharing photos etc with someone you know very well and really trust. The risks are too great otherwise.
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A
male
reader, iblamelogic +, writes (10 May 2010):
The fact that he's begging for photos sounds like he's a desperate guy. And did you say "out again"? You've went out with him before?
I'm not an expert on this, but it sounds like an internet dating thing.
Advice? stop talking to him.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (10 May 2010):
 I think you have every right to be concerned. It is not just his overtly sexual interest, but the fact he is sending you (unsolicited) nude pictures suggests he doesn't have a great deal of respect for you or your preferences. I also think he is probably one of those 'picture collectors' and also has a narcissistic personality disorder. To send naked photos of yourself suggests that you rate yourself rather highly don't you think? To collect pictures of other people obsessively also suggests something is not quite right in the personality department. Now you have received explicit pictures in his distorted mind he may think the next time he sees you then you will be unable to control yourself. I would seriously consider never seeing him again and asking him to stop contacting you. Don't send any photo's to him because he could pass them around the whole community.
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A
female
reader, Olilara  +, writes (10 May 2010):
I'm with AuntyEm,
this sends up big red flags in my head.
I personally don't think it's ever appropriate for someone to ask for a naked picture of you. It's tacky and well, offensive I think.
If you wanted to do it on your terms that would be all well and good but this is a big no-no.
Run!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (10 May 2010):
This guy is more interested in sex and a quick thrill than he is in actually getting to know you. A man who really wants to get to know you and has more on his mind that sex won't ask for photos or send them. He'll want to get to know you before all that. These are the sorts of photos that might well end up over the internet. I think you need to end it.
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A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (10 May 2010):
 I guess it's about what you think is right at the time. And a question of what you're willing to live with.
You might have to politely explain to him that you won't send him ANY photos like this because you are worried they could fall into the wrong hands.
Something similar happened to me once. I took a photo of myself with a mobile phone, and it somehow fell into the wrong hands before I got a chance to delete it. It's a long story.
I felt kind of violated at the time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2010): Dear Avary,
I can see why you would be concerned. A guy who sends very explicit images by text is almost always just looking for a sex only liaison. I don't want to stereotype, but with research I've done, ( I write about this in my book) men who you may have hooked up with online who do this very early on, are as I say seeking sex without strings attached. However, you do mention at the end of your question, that you have already met. It might have been helpful if you had said where and how you met. What concerns me, is you being concerned, so please don't DO or FEEL you have to do anything you're uncomfortable with. Do not allow him to pressure you, and certainly don't send explicit images of yourself unless you are sure you are dating or are in a relationship for the long-term, not just someone you've met over the last few days. I do know of couples who have been dating for a long-time, some years, who enjoy such interaction with each other, BUT, that is within the confines of a loving stable relationship. I would tell him you don't find such images alluring as you want to get to know him, NOT his body, and if he can't respect this, then move on to someone else. Take care and good luck!
Suzanne x
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (10 May 2010):
 You don't feel right about this do you?...He's making you feel uncomfortable and you have doubts about him. All this is your inner self warning you. Huge great big warning signals that are telling you to get away.
If I were you...I'd run...his behaviour is creepy and disturbing and you are likely to get entangled in something you cannot escape.
Some men/boys can be extremely manipulative to get what they want. They will say what they want you to hear, just so they can get what they want. In the case of this guy, he's being pushy and begging for nude pictures. A nice guy wouldn't ask you to do this.If and when he does get what he wants...he's going to dissapear like the morning mist.
What if you were drawn into sending him a naked pic...what would he do with it?...He might even blackmail you? you dont really know him well enough to know what he will do...what if he printed it out and showed all his friends (boys really do that S**t)
Darling get away from him as fast as you can.
Aunty Em xxx
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A
female
reader, Myrrh +, writes (10 May 2010):
 Hes using you to service his urge to expose himself. If thats his "thing" hes probably sent them to many women. Dont send any pics back as you never know where they will end up being displayed or who will see them! As for just meeting you for sex, that may well be the case if hes not interested in much else.
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