A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have told an ex that I am still in love with him. We have not talked or seen eachother in 3 years. He emailed me out of nowhere to send me wellwishes. So I took the opportunity to tell him howI have felt for 3 years. He told me he is engaged. We talk every week. He says he cares about me but doesn't think he can do this to her. He came tosee me at my work. We met one day and sat ona bench for hours and talked. I know he loves his fiancé. But he has also said to me that what we haveis different. And that it is definitely still there. I don't know where to go from here. I alwaysfelt like I had lost him but always thought if wewere meant to be then we would. But I'm starting tothink differently. I'm so afraid to lose him for good. We haven't seen eachother in 2 weeks. He sayshe has to respect her although he says he wisheswe could explore this. He always says things like "why didn't you tell mesooner" and makes comments about somehow changing things. I admitted I made a mistake. I admitted I hurt hi but as soon as I got his email I knew I had to say sosomething. I don't want to cause anyone pain. I feel terrible that I have caused his fiancé any pain. She knows about it. Doesn't want us to talk. But I'm sure she can sense it from him that we do. What should I do? I can't lose him again. Is it too late?
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female
reader, straight to the truth  +, writes (15 April 2010):
Yes it is too late and what you are doing is selfish.
He is getting married! he has a fiance. you said your piece now move on and stop hindering his life.
how would you feel if the two of you were engaged and suddenly his ex showed up and he started spending time with her and putting the rest of your life in jeopardy.
dont wreck this couples relationship and the chance for their future happiness.
move on and find yourself a single man.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010): yes practcally it is late.
unless other legally wed women can accommodate you in his life. and you are ready to be second wife.
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A
male
reader, Jonty23 +, writes (15 April 2010):
Yes. It's too late to change the past. What you have to do is to decide what to do now. You have opened your heart to him - he knows how you feel. Either he will break it off with his fiancee - or he won't.
What you need is a clear decision from him. Otherwise it is not fair on you - and not fair on the other woman.
If he can't or won't commit to you - move on - it will hurt - but not as much as a drawn out and doomed affair - for that is what you are having.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 April 2010):
Sorry, but you're too late. He's engaged, and some of the things he has said indicate this. You need to pull away now. And even if something did happen, you'd be in a worse position. First of all you'd be the woman who stole an engaged man. Secondly, you could never fully trust him not to ditch you if you were engaged. Let him go. It's too late.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (15 April 2010):
 There is nothing anymore you can do but to let fate decides your destiny.
If he comes back to you , he is yours ,otherwise, he belongs to that woman.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010): He's signalled you 3 times, that he isn't interested in becoming close.. one, he 'sent you well wishes' when you initiated contact to tell him you are still in love with him 3 years later, 2, he 'told you he's engaged' when you explained your ongoing love for him, and 3, when he said he's engaged and doesn't feel he could do that to her..
If any girl comes back into a married man's life, most of the men will act that way, so instead of pulling him away from his fiance, I would tell him that you'll leave it up to him to decide who he wants to be with, and stay away from him unless he outright says he has let her go, to be with you. He might not ever let her go, but at least this way he won't make the mistake of having an affair behind his fiance's back.
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A
female
reader, minda  +, writes (15 April 2010):
u r still young
leave him
u ll find a better person
don be the reason for that gals heartache
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