A
female
age
41-50,
*onfessions
writes:My bf hit me because I made a bad comment about his mum because I was angry. He hit me, spat on me, told me he hated me and didn't want me, he even said he couldn't get his p**** up for me because he didn't want me. He has said all these things before but we have got back together. I know I'm a stupid idiot he called me desperate and he is right I feel so desperate... I'm anxious as he broke his phone, told me not to call him or go to his place. It's been 1 day and we are usually together I feel lonely why am I like this? Will he come back? Does he really hate me and not love me anymore? Have I wasted 4 years of my life?
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 March 2011):
Your problems are big enough - and they'll get bigger. Either he will do it again, or at some point social services are going to come to your house and take your kid away because she's in an unsafe situation.
You really need to get away from this man, or you will lose everything. That's how this works. You'll end up in a hospital, and your child will end up somewhere else because she's in an unsafe house. And it will happen.
You do not have a choice but to leave.
A
female
reader, Confessions +, writes (12 March 2011):
Confessions is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI can hear you all but it's like there's a thick wall between us.... I don't want him but it feels safer to just go along as usual... I know I sound like a cop out but I'm so tired and exhausted and weak from all the upset and anxiety. My daughter is at mums she staying there the weekend which he did ask about. He playing mind games ..., he broke his phone whilst we were arguing ... Then made a comment like "it's finished now if anyone tries to contact me I'm not getting another phone." I think he was testing to see if I would react as usually I'd probably tell him what about me but I don't care really so I kept quiet. What's he trying to do ? Test me? And he said he'd come round on Monday and shouted said he will come as now we had loads of cooking because we were supposed to do it the night he stormed out. I didn't get scared although couldn't tell him directly not to come but I said " I'm not cooking Monday, I've got loads of studying as I'm behind." he didn't like it but said nothing . I've almost competed my second degree and I'm not messing it up for anyone. I'm trying tonne strong the weekend will go working hopefully if I keep quiet all will be ok. His apology was a hug but he didn't day the words and then that's it. I feel so worthless I don't understand how did I become like this? I wish I could run away. I feel that my problems aren't big enough to go to the refuge caring guy but thank you for caring thank you to you all xxxxx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 March 2011):
You can get him removed from the house, or take your kid and go to a woman's hostel. For God's sake don't stay with him oir be near him.
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A
female
reader, Confessions +, writes (11 March 2011):
Confessions is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to all who have replied. I'm so scared. He has come home and is not talking to me, just cooking away as we work at the food market on weekends. I'm just quiet and very nervous. I know I should not have opened the door but I was scared to cause a scene. I don't know how to deal with this. I feel like an idiot. I'm an educated individual. I don't know why I'm so scared and of what?
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A
female
reader, chris's_wifey_23  +, writes (11 March 2011):
FORGET HIM YOU DONT HAVE TO BE PUTTING UP WITH THAT CRAP! Even if you said mean things about his mom or watever he has no right to be treating you like that i say move on and find someone that will treat you right
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2011): You may not realise it at the moment because this guy is toxic and hes ruined your confidence. But you deserve to be treated with love and respect. Really you do. No one should treat you as he did. No one should EVER hit you. Why would you think so little of yourself that you would allow this creep to treat you so badly? Hes really not worth your time. Before you try contacting him again, think of your little daughter. Do you really want her to grow up thinking how he treats you is normal? Because it is not! Do you want her having similar relationships when shes older, because you taught her thats all she deserves too? You have to be strong and fight the urge to contact him ever again. And if he comes sniffing around after a while because he expects you to chase him and you dont. Have nothing to do with him. Threaten to call the police and shut the door in his face. If he phones, change your number. Start making ocntact with your friends and family again if you feel lonely. They will be much better company for you than that creepy little bully. That man has probably taken apart your life until you think hes the ONLY thing in your life....but he isnt. You have a child. She needs protecting from his sort. So if you dont have the strength to leave this guy alone, find it for your daughters sake. There IS a wonderful man out there for you, someone who will love and care deeply for the two of you. But you will never find him all the time you are hankering after a bully. Find the strength. You have it within you to turn your life around. You are a woman and a mother. You are stronger than you know x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2011): It's over... cut all ties, don't talk to him, throw his crap into a bag and set it on the porch... he's done.You've been abused by a wife beater. LEAVE!
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A
female
reader, Confessions +, writes (10 March 2011):
Confessions is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you super bunny and caring guy for your answers. I lost all my friends and family but I don't feel so alone now. Because of your answers I've not contacted him. I'm going to try and stay strong for the sake of my daughter it's not fair on my poor child. Thank you and caring guy I'm going to go onto that link you sent me. Thank you. I hope I can sleep tonight thank you to you both it means alot.
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A
female
reader, superbunny +, writes (10 March 2011):
 Do not go anywhere near him. Do not call him. If he comes back grovelling on his hands and needs, shut the door in his face. You, nor the hundreds of women who tolerate this kind of treatment from men, do not deserve to be treated like this. You are worth more than guy who raises a finger to you.
Keep strong, find solace in your friends and family - but do not let him crawl back under your skin.
You will be fine without sweetheart. You really will. It doesn't matter if he loves you or not, a human being should not treat another like that.
Best wishes xxxx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (10 March 2011):
http://www.womensaid.org.uk/?gclid=CK7-ip35xKcCFQoa4Qod2G3HDQ
Go to this site, and please, please get away from this man. You'll have only wasted 4 years of you take someone like this back after what he has done to you.
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