A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Several months ago, I found out my boyfriend (of 14 months) was using a webcam to chat online with other women while I was gone. I found this out because I came home a little earlier than he'd expected one day and caught him. He told me he wasn't doing it anymore. Of course, I didn't believe him, and would do things like putting the camera in different positions to see if he was moving/using it. ....He was. Just a couple of weeks ago, the whole thing came up again, when I completely hid the cam, knowing that it was being used still. He flipped out, and lied about it. Then after I told him that I'd been "keeping tabs" on him for months, he fessed up, destroyed the cam, and we moved on. ...Or he did. I'm still suspicious of him, as I've heard him make comments about his slutty life before me, and he'd always been a whore, blah blah blah. I have since been checking his email (without his knowledge) and have discovered a plan to meet up with another woman next week sometime for sex. I know this is happening, but I don't know how to address it, since I'm the one who was snooping in his email. Most of the plans aren't written out, as several phone calls have also been mentioned. Unfortunately, my work schedule alternates between early mornings and later evenings, so there is plenty of time most days for this to happen while I'm gone. What do I do?!?!?! Also, he doesn't realize, apparently, that the day that this rendez-vous is scheduled to go down, that I'm off work early in the afternoon that day, because of a doctor's appt., so I'm trying to plot out a way to "catch" him. Please help!!...Thanks, in advance. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Andy00  +, writes (10 July 2007):
 I agree with what most of these guy's are saying. What the guy is doing is just wrong. He's lying to you. What's worse is, he's lied a few times, once is only forgiveable sometimes!You can confront him if you like. Why should you feel bad about snooping through his e-mails when you were clearly right not to trust him? A relationship is about trust, and when things are as bad as you have to check on things that he's doing, AND end up being right, you know he just doesn't belong to you and he doesn't deserve you.Either way, I would say, dump him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2007): Thing is, if you confront him he can always try to worm his way out of it-maybe be coy and try to follow him there or turn up. That is of course if you know where he is meeting her. You can even do it without making a scene if you want. Like if you goes in a hotel or is at a bar then call him - when he answers ask where he is, he will lie of course then say - well I can actually see you in blah blah. OR for the dramatic effect you can call him, ask where he is, he will lie. THen hang up and walk right into the bar or wherever he is. Either way of course you have to dump him BUT you need to perhaps catch this guy in the act as he will always deny. But anyway he doesnt matter - if you WANT to catch him in the act then do so, if you do not care anymore then just leave before anymore happens. Good luck
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A
female
reader, Sbrwneyes +, writes (28 June 2007):
 Break up with him. He's obvioulsy playing games with you, and doesn't love you if he's doing all of that...expecially behind your back.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2007): You really do need to leave this jerk, he could be passing some disease on to you! No one is worth that. You have a pretty good picture of his character now so don't go into denial and endanger yourself.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (27 June 2007):
 Why try and catch him out?
Why not keep you dignity by not stooping to his level and just leave him and walk away with your head held high.
Let him get on with his secret meetings and you go off and get yourself a new life, as you have said you caught him out before and he is back to old tricks again, so it's very likely that he will never change.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, burningbridges  +, writes (27 June 2007):
If a gentleman is cheating and you have to tell him twice, he's never going to learn. Don't bother catching him, break up with him.
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