A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my wife is a very aggressivley emotional person and when she has her emotional outbursts it makes me withdawl emotionaly because I feel like I'm being attacked. she accuses me of having no emotions and accuses me of having no passion in the bedroom. I happen to be a verry easygoing sensual person, but I can be passionate as well as long as I feel like I'm accepted. There has been occations where I have lost my erection in the bedroom and she has taken it to mean that I'm not atracted to her, then it gets back to the passion element and I walk away from the experience feeling like less of a man each time which makes it harder for me to please her which I wan't to do but I feel like its impossible to please her and she's never happy. She says I'm insensitive and ambivalent. Am I? Can someone please help me start to put our relationship back together?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2007): I think you are withdrawing and look unemotional to her because you never know what will set her off, and what good would it do if both of you were yelling at each other? You know that she would not like you better for that, even though you would be showing emotion!Your wife is very stressed or unhappy and I agree that the best thing would be for her to get some help - but it is not easy to get someone to do that. Maybe she would agree to go to some kind of couples counseling WITH you - the therapist could help her to express what is wrong without being aggressive to you. And I agree with ditzy blonde chick - under the circumstances of course things aren't working in the bedroom. You are probably always cringing thinking that you are going to be attacked and that is not a turn on!Try to present the therapy option in a really positive way - that you want everything to be happy between the two of you and think it might help. But if this goes nowhere, you need to think about whether you want to be treated like this and feel so bad for the rest of your life, and a therapist for you alone could help you with this question, which is a really overwhelming thing to deal with alone. You cannot make her change, but you do have a choice about how much you want to deal with from her.Good luck, you sound very sweet and noone deserves to be treated with such contempt.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2007): Unfortunately my friend this problem all points to your wife and her own Insecurities,
Now this isn’t anything to do with you and I’m just reassuring you of this now,
Because you’re right to feel upset about this it must be battering your self- esteem,
But she’s not well emotionally and she’s taking it out on the one she loves, while she’s behaving like this try handling her with care,
Remember she’s damaged goods at the moment all you can do is listen to her try and be affectionate give her lots of hugs when she feels down,
Encourage her to speak to someone a therapist of some kind or a Hypnotherapist.
to help her overcome her emotional issues they will talk with her to get to the root of her problems and put her under hypnosis and give her positive suggestion’s into her sub-contious that will change her from the inside out you can advise her to find info at findcounseling.com
Now back to you at times you will lose your patients with her taking her emotions out on you,
But for your own sanity you need to focus on you as well, and know that you’ll can be no help if you let this break you so take time out to relax and maybe see a therpist too,
As for the problems in the bedroom, know that the only time you will experience any sort of normality there with both of you is without stress or tension, these sorts of things can only be good when theirs no stress or tension or accusations within the relationship so right
Now it ain’t going to happen while she’s putting on pressure and theirs rowing going on try and explain this to her that this is the reason things are not back to normal,
Hopefully everything will be great for you both again soon and you wife will feel better about herself after some therapy,
Take care,
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