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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Recently i've been thinking about this situation i'm in and have decided that enough is enough and i need to change it once and for all. I will cut this story very short. Basically i liked this guy, who turned out to be a complete jerk and now he has a girlfriend but still wants to "see me" if you get my drift behind her back. I know it's wrong and i'm ashamed to say i considered going through with it but i haven't. I haven't contacted or spoken to him for over a week and he doesn't live in the same town so i won't see him anyway. He was the first guy i've ever slept with and broke my heart in the process, i think that's why it's that much harder for me to let go. How do you stay away from somebody you want but at the same time you know is bad for you?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question"You're feelings for him have already changed. You're asking this question? That's the sign you just won't know until he gets serious"
Not sure i understood that post but thanks everyone. Maybe i just won't talk to him anymore, i don't know.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): When you come back to him, you are teaching him that what he has done is effective. It gets him what he wants. He will do it to other girls in the future because YOU helped teach him how well it works.
You are also teaching other guys that this is what girls like you respond to. Don't kid yourself - there ARE other guys out there who would want to be with you and a few of them probably have noticed a little bit about what you are going through. For all your complaining about this guy, the bottom line is that this is what works on you.
As long as you go back to him you are part of the problem and not the solution.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): "...who turned out to be a complete jerk.......still wants to "see me" if you get my drift behind her back......was the first guy i've ever slept with and broke my heart in the process..."So, the question for you is why you have such low self esteem that you would consider doing this? I don't mean this to be harsh, but there are plenty of fish in the sea and this guy has twice proven (probably more than twice) himself to be a jerk.But, you would still consider him...Get some counseling to help you understand YOURSELF and begin to treat yourself better.You deserve better.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): You're feelings for him have already changed. You're asking this question? That's the sign you just won't know until he gets serious.
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A
female
reader, brianna6037  +, writes (12 November 2010):
Well i think that it definetely isnt a good idea to see this guy if he is curently in a relationship. The best thing to do is to try to forget about him. I know excactly what type of situation you are in, I have liked the same guy for almost 3 years and i have recently decided to let it go. It is really ard and it takes some time but it will eventually happen.And I know that it is going to be especially hard considering that he is your first love, and also the guy who you lost your virginity to, but eventually you will move on to other guys who love you, and only you. Your first love and your first heartbreak are always the 2 hardest things to get over in life. Just give it time and I know that things will heal up.If these feelings persist then mayne you should stop communicating wit him all together. Tell him how you feel and how he made you feel. Or stop seeing him altogetherI hope this helps, and i hope everything works out for you!Best of luck,
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): with alot of willpower. just to qoute from a popular saying "if a guy lets u go, he really loves u" well,this guy evidently dosent. it is possible to let go as ihave done it before. really hard though.
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