A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My wife refuses to give me a blowjob and will not even really open up healthy dialog about it.Now before anyone replies to this post here is some background.-I DO go down on her (cunnilingus) to completion and she has multiple organisms. It turns me on pleasing her. I spent a lot of time paying attention to her signs and learning the exact way she likes it resulting in me being able to bring her to climax in a relatively short amount of time.-I shower, trim, shave, my nether region. It is clean and smells great. And yes I a throughly clean my ass as well.-I do help around the house with chores-I do buy her flowers on occasion, presents, etc.Every once in a while she will discuss it very very briefly and over a lot of time I gathered the following. When she was younger she hung around with (had friends) that were guys and heard them talk about girls giving guys oral sex (BJ, head). Now these were maybe 15 year old boys. So I am sure it was locker room stupid talk from stupid boys. Anyway she determined that girls who do this are in some way low, whores, sluts, etc.I explained that in the confines of marriage were both parties our mutually concerned with one another's wants, needs, etc., it seems silly to frame oral sex from a past discussion of immature boys years ago.If you are a woman please do not respond to my question with some BS about it being selfish on my part.(i.e. pig, whatever) I go down on her and do other things to take care of her and it IS NOT selfish for me to want and need the same.It is important to a man. I do not know if women can truly understand this or not.If you can relate or have any helpful suggestions I am all ears.
View related questions:
blow-job, flowers, immature, oral sex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I can definitely see that there are people posting now that never took the time to read all of the post. I have never mentioned breaking up with her over lack of blowjobs. Read all the posts before you post.[Mod note: and with this post, the thread has been closed.]
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2010): Does she give you hand jobs? if so cant you compromise that way? seems silly to end a relationship over bj. Imagine telling people that when they asked why you broke up! hehe
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2010): Looks like your going to have to chose a bj that only last a little while, or your wife thats sapost to be with you forever that you "love". Honestly I love my bf going down on me, but if he dint feel ok with doing it. I would tell him thats fine i dont want you to do any thing you dont want to, And still keep doing it to him cuz i like to. You dont do good things in life to get it back, you do it cause you want to or its the right thing to do. Try doing some thing that you equally like to a bj or never tried before. Or compromise when she gives you a hand job just mention something about licking it only. But your not 5 any more "just cause you gave your crayons to your little sis doesnt mean shes obligated to give you some thing back if she doesnt want to even though it would be nice" its the same thing here. Also just cause you think your clean and smell good down there doesnt mean she thinks you are to. I also think its kinda shallow if you do love her cuase if you do why would it matter so much? It would be like a girl breaking up with a guy cause she loves her feet rubbed but he hates feet.
...............................
A
female
reader, Accountable  +, writes (11 June 2010):
 As far as I can tell, this debate between you and your wife has been going on for a long time now, but there has never been deep enough communication to establish exactly why. Since you have no evidence that there has been some significant event in her life to give her this psychological aversion to oral sex, you are (perhaps fairly, if she is not opening up to you) assuming that she is being selfish, as that is the outward appearance of her behaviour - taking but not giving back. The result of this is that you resent her for not giving you what you feel you deserve, and she resents you for giving the impression that you care more about oral sex than you do her. And before you protest, thats exactly what you do every time you tell her she's being silly, and you consolidated it when you broke up with her over it.
The only thing i can see resolving this is a long, frank discussion. None of this hinting with books that you expect her to love and get the message from. I know it probably feels like youve gone over it all before with her, but you never properly have, because every time it ends in another stalemate where neither of you are really happy. Devote some time to it, and make sure your conversation comes to a proper conclusion - you get the real reason why she won't try it, you decide if you are going to leave her over it, and everyone knows where they stand.
Thats my two cents, for what its worth. Personally I don't understand why a blow job is worth throwing away a woman you profess to love, but its your decision to make, and i wish you luck in making it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionrhythmandblues2 go back and read all post again. Simple. You are wrong about me. It has never been transactional. This small part of the marriage, but is the topic of the post. Please keep that in perspective. There is no pressure and no threat to leave. Whatever your interpretation of the post is if way out of focus and not what is going on, but thanks for trying to help.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): It's difficult for me to explain this to you because you clearly don't get it. It does not matter that you DO nice things for her outside of the bedroom, you still cannot expect and especially demand that your wife give you blow jobs....there again you do not realize that you have a "transactional" view of sex. You truly believe at your core that she Owes you certain sexual favors.You broke up with her during your courtship over blow jobs and amazingly enough she took you back. You can't possibly tell me that you based your decision whether or not to marry her on a promise of she MAY do this in the future...I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that is what your wife believes about you by your actions words and deeds.I can see that if she believed that and felt that based on your actions, that she would resent you for making this about a condition of your relationship, that you would actually threaten to leave her over her unwillingness to do this sexual favor. In her defense, your threat is unconscionable. In your defense you aren't happy with your sex life.Sex in marriage is important and if you aren't happy in your sex life then it is a 90% of the relationship. If you are happy it is about 10% of the relationship.Since your reltionship is damaged due to what you did to her in the past and your continued pressure and covert threat to leave the relationship, your marriage is on the rocks. Good job.Please get some counseling for both of you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIf you read my previous post I was honest and made her just how aware it was important to me. Her retort was that she was going to but just needed more time. The same thing I was told when we got back together. If I was a dominating man who did not care about her I would not be doing the housework, pleasuring her (because I like it and it turns me on not just so she will do it in return), doing things I could care less about like shopping for girl stuff just to be with her and compromising because she like it.I am glad that some can see that who have posted previously. I gather from some responses that if she does not do it she never will, or maybe she is just being selfish, or not caring about my needs in the same way that I care for hers. There may in fact be an unbalance there. I think have in the past very calmly tried to bring this up but as in my original post no option for open dialog on her end. I think two years is enough time to wait and be patient which triggered my initial post.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): Peraonally I think the Mars Venus books are largely crap pop psychology, possibly it applies to some men and women but by no means should be considered a playbook for understanding the opposite sex.
I am not familiar with the other two books Tisha mentions, I suppose they are worth reading, but I don't think any reading of books is going to change your situation here.
The only course of action after your last updated post and what actually transpired between you two during your courtship and marriage is to seek marital counseling.
I don't know if this is all her issue or a relationship issue, I suspect it is a little of both.
I too have to wonder as Tisha states, why you broke up with her over blow jobs if they were that important to you and you went ahead and married expecting this to change.
If I had been in her shoes and you had broken up with me over that, that would have been my cue to the fact that you don't love me and you don't see me a a whole person and you are the type of man who at his core believes a man should have dominion over a wife and there is no way in hell the two of you will ever have a relationship of equals and this perhaps is what your wife is resisting to, possibly....I know it would carry over to many aspects of your marriage and relationship and for me as a Venus or woman would simply be profoundly distasteful.
Seek counseling or seek to end your marriage.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 June 2010):
 Thank you for the followup. So you actually broke up with her based on the lack of oral sex from her? And she said 'give her time' and you decided to be the 'bigger person' and 'overlook' it. So she knew it could be a deal-breaker for you--and was, for a short time--and you knew she had a big problem with it.
Okay, let's face it, you both closed your eyes to this and went in, each hoping the other would change. You went so far as to order a book hoping she'd suddenly see the light and completely 180 and suddenly desire to give you oral sex. There is a whole lot of wishful thinking going on, without much basis in reality.
I also think there's more to this aversion of hers than she has been able to divulge to you. The fact that she's willing to accept oral sex from you means she doesn't actually have a problem with the idea of mouth on genitals--it comes down to her not wanting to apply her mouth to your genitals.
Alas, you knew going in that this was an issue, and I'm pretty sure she was hoping that you wouldn't press it. You had accepted it thus far and she probably just didn't want to face the issue.
I think you do need to find the root cause, and you will have to do this not as an exercise in logic and expectations of reciprocity, but as a loving and compassionate exploration of her sexuality. Basically, you cannot take the approach you have been--it's not working. Think of it in this way, you two have been facing each other, on opposite sides of the bone of contention (*cough*). Now you have to abandon your stance (which is a bit self-righteous) and walk to the other side, stand by her side and examine the issue together, with your arm around her supporting her. Metaphorically speaking, of course.
The thing that you have to come to terms with on your own is you may come to find that she will never be okay with giving you oral sex. Can you stick around for that? I think you have this notion that eventually she'll have to succumb to your superior and impeccable logic and will give you that blowjob that you so desperately want. You may be sorely mistaken. Logic has nothing to do with this. This is about feelings, and my guess is that you are like most men in this arena, uncomfortable and disliking the lack of structure. Just as you expect her to learn to think like you, you are going to have to learn to think like her, or at the very least, appreciate that her approach to things is as valid as yours.
In a Different Voice: Psychological Theory and Women's Development by Carol Gilligan
That's Not What I Meant! by Deborah Tannen
Those two books might help you shift your own frame and help you communicate with her, in addition to the Mars/Venus ones. Approach this as a mystery to be solved, with love and patience.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (10 June 2010):
 So there was at least some discussion of note on this, then. I admit that I had expected to learn there was none.
Still though, this revelation provides no further insight into what can only be termed a cop-out.
To be frank, Poster, you married her, knowing this in advance and hoped it would change. In my opinion, hoping something will do a 180 down the line isn't a realistic expectation. It would be like my knowing my own husband is glued to the Patriots' play offs before I married him and I should expect him to suddenly abdicate and begin enthusiastically watching Martha Stewart with me.
I maintain that there MUST be a root cause beyond that which you've stated. Get to that and then we can make some yardage on this, I believe.
You seem like a smart man, so I'm betting you can find a way to cleverly extract the root cause from her.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): OP Thank you for your updated post. As this is the case then I do feel for you, you were up front and told her want you needed and you wife said give her time, only you can decide how much time is enough, and if this is a deal breaker for your marriage.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe premarital conversation went like this. We were dating and she had a problem with it so I broke up with her. She was shocked, hurt, etc. I explained that I can not go the rest of my life without a blowjob. Her response was I said just give me time. We separated for about six months and then happen to meet up. In every other way we clicked. We started talking again. I had to make a decision. I hope it was not the wrong one. I decided to try and be the bigger person and not carnal and overlook it with the hope that what she said was true and in time it would happen. Later we got married. Over two years had gone by and nothing has changed. At least if we had open dialog about it I could have some hope. But without communication it gives me no hope.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (10 June 2010):
 Gosh, after reading this very long post, my suggestion is... stop giving her oral....
If she so enjoys oral then maybe she will realise what she is missing and hopefully understand the oral is awesome.
It does sound like she is selfish - not wanting to reciprocate.
Just my few cents worth of opinon!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): I don't know how long you have been married or have been with you wife, your sex life will change, improve over the years. I think you are probably not helping your own case. The more she knows it's an issue the harder it is going to be for her to be able to relax and want to try. There is a lot of moving around, in bed things happen. You don't go to bed always knowing what you are going to do, it all unfolds naturally, hopefully lying there afterwards, thinking wow that was new. When you talk to her about this what do you say?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): Sorry I have taken so long to reply I have been busy in bed pleasing hubby all guilt free thank you very much. I can tell you this much he is not on a website complaining about his wife. There is NO way I would want something from my man in bed that he didn't want to do, we would find ways to make such each other is happy, both giving and receiving, that what a happy married life is all about.
If you are only down down on her to get it back then don't, what sort of loving act is that? Do you not enjoy doing it? Maybe that way you won't feel so angry about it all. Life is full of things we don't want to do because we have to, it is a very sad life if this follows into the bedroom too.
Did your wife give you blow jobs before you were married and has stopped is this why it is such an issue?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): To the Op: mister, I hearyour agony. You seem like a dream hb trying fruitfully to please yourwife and you do. Exoecting the same from her does not make you a pig/perverted/selfish. The fact that you ensure your wife is well taken cared off sexually means that you are a thoughtful lover and hb. Your expectation is justified. Your wifes 'concept' of giving head is dirty seems to stem frim deep seeted issues which need to be investigated further. Communicate to her your feelings and TELL what you want and Need from her. If you both need to seek the advice of a sexologist hen do. Rather sort out this issue now than 20 years later when the resentment build up where you loathe her. If it is important to you she needs to understand that it is her duty as your partner to meet your needs. How many of us hate cooking, or even cleaning but we do it bec it is an expectation and a necessity. To me any forms of sex is an expression of ones bond with ones partner. It needs to be communicated and it needs to be cherished. You do not have to nag but tell her. Since giving head is a sore point for her, I hope you do not expect her to swallow. I love giving my hb of 19 years head but I swallowed only last week and never again.marriage and sex (lots of it) goes hand in hand. Perhaps also show her with love that you are patient and slowly encourage her to 'investigate' your penis. Play around with some toys, hey get that chocolate out. Make lovemaking fun and sexy and not just fucking. I really do not know what else to tell you , you have been roasted over the coals by some wanting to DICtate and humiliate you. But hey at least you are man enough to admit there is a problem.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): I don't think you are a male pig, but from the way you tell this tale and how you handle it and what your beliefs are about relationships and sex, what it boils down to is that you have turned your marital bed into a battle ground.Giving her oral sex is "expected" tit for tat (pardon) that you expect she do the same for you...sex has become transactional and you are even considering withholding oral pleasure to her if you don't receive the same.I don't think it is helping your case in any way to talk to your wife in discounting terms that her feelings are silly about why she isn't interested in giving you blow jobs.It doesn't matter that I don't agree with your wife or that our culture has reduced blow jobs to a good night kiss for many people who are strangers and hook up.It may be that there was an incidence like this that made her feel dirty.You both are quite young, you have your whooooooollllleeee marriage to have sex, your sexual relationship will change and grow as long as your marriage changes and grows and you both grow together and respect each other's differences and that includes sexual preferences. You have tried to demand it, you failed at the art of negotiation and now you have turned it into a battle.You've lost the right to continue badgering your wife about it, you would be cutting your nose off to spite your face to stop pleasuring your wife.Women are different than men, they actually need some form of sexual foreplay to become sexually aroused, men on the other hand become aroused in a quick breeze or the sight of a bare leg from under a skirt, so what you are asking of her is a want not a need.If you love your wife, you will be patient with her and you won't bring it up again for a long while.More than likely she will do this for you at some point o her own without pressure from you, and when she does you would be best to give her some guidance and some compliments.Some women are afraid they are doing it wrong, some women find it a tiring chore, I mean no one called it a job for nothing. She may even be orally challenged in her jaw or the size of her mouth, where she instead needs to learn to use her hands to keep her from tiring....you might gently suggest that to her in a moment of kissing your body down there, at the time is much better than a lecture or argument before.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 June 2010):
I too am curious as to how the pre-marital discussions of sex went.
...............................
A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (10 June 2010):
So this really boils down to I give, she takes, but then when I'd like to reverse that she won't entertain the thought and the reason given for the refusal is based upon a preconceived notion that it reciprocity is somehow a foul repugnant thing. Do I have that much correct? This is about the lack of reciprocity, then.
I'm a rather brainy, aggressive type of "Venus",Poster so I offer this up not lightly.
I think the overheard some juvenile/infantile boys excuse is a full blown cop out, garden variety excuse-making. Lame, but not everyone can be quippy. Regardless, you cannot force this issue. Maybe she just doesn't like the thought, she's reviled by the idea, look, scent or maybe you just kinda turn her stomach and it's easier to tell you that she overheard garbage rather than deal with your outrage? It's not how I would play it but I'm not her.
Please also realize that I know for an absolute fact that the Aunts trying to help you here put earnest and sincere thought into what they're doing. We each have very different styles in trying to help those looking for help or feedback. So please, bear that in mind. If one of us manages to provoke you into punching your monitor and you have an epiphany that helps you resolve your issue, then we've done what we've come to do.
I think you should try to get at the root of this issue with your wife since I'm not buying the overheard line as valid reasoning. Could be you're making her feel obligated and/or intimidated while she's just downright not cool with it.
May I ask why this issue wasn't addressed before you got married if it's so integral?
...............................
A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (10 June 2010):
Ok, q, so it's "important to a man" due to the stellar quality of orgasm? That's it? So we're really talking about quality and not slobbin' the old knobbin' after all?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionq1605 you don't know me. You know what happens when you ASS U ME. I am not bringing this up all the time with her. I am not whipping the horse to drink as you imply. I am like 99% of all men on the planet who enjoys blowjobs. Good job on the description of one though, "Bunny. It is because the orgasm from a blow job makes a guys eyes just about roll back in his head."BunnyTee let me explain this comment, "If you are a woman please do not respond to my question with some BS about it being selfish on my part.(i.e. pig, whatever) I go down on her and do other things to take care of her and it IS NOT selfish for me to want and need the same." I made this comment in my initial post because I have read previous post on the internet on this subject were women were simply jumping all over this guy for just wanting a blowjob after he did everything his wife wanted and never pressured her. Guess what? He still ain't gettin' em. So to try and stop this lame posting before it started I posted that.
...............................
A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (10 June 2010):
I have consulted with my on site guy type consultant and he says it sounds rather absurd to him: so just dump her and find someone who will give you a damn blow job if it's THAT big of a problem.
...............................
A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (10 June 2010):
The condensed version will be acceptable. I can see that you consistently externalize this problem as evidenced by the tone of your on going retorts. And since you're insisting upon no women handing you any BS on whatever, I trust you'll exhibit the same courtesy you're asking for?
...............................
A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (10 June 2010):
I, personally know of no man who has ever just up and died due to lack of blow jobs. So WHY is this "important to a man", Poster?
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 June 2010):
Hoo boy. My point is that you don't need to say anything. She knows. The point is that you have to stop talking and listen to her, without judging, without busily formulating a counterargument in your head while she is talking. You are spending way too much time proving your point and not enough time looking at this from her perspective. Or evening WANTING to look at this from her perspective.
Granted, you don't know what her perspective is. But that's the fundamental problem, isn't it?
So from Venus to Mars, stop lecturing, stop talking, start open-ended questioning. Not, "when do you think you'll be up to giving me my due, my well-earned blowjob?" More like, "I love giving you pleasure in all ways. What do you think about that?"
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMsBehavin thank you so much for that reply. It helps me frame it even better in my mind. Yes in fact I do things like watching shows I don't like, accompanying her purse shopping, etc to just be with her and compromise. I did feel also that she should at least try. I guess that is why I posted this to try and gain better understanding. So thanks.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTisha-1 I really appreciate your feedback. So if I understand you correctly we kind of have a mars/venus communication thing going on here. Would you be so kind as to tell me in Venus language how you feel she would like me to say it.
Because honestly the way men are wired it is hard sometimes to communicate in a matter that gets the point across without women taking it, from mens point of view, the wrong way sometimes.
How would you translate what needs to be said into Venus language?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionq1605 my first response to you was to say essentially we can agree to disagree. If you took that personally that is your issue. Lighten up. Nothing else you have posted is anything but being a troll. BTW Sherlock that is not my age. LOL.
Tisha-1 Awesome well thought out reply. Like in my original post I know it is a psychological aversion. I like your laid back north/south position idea. I may just try that.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 June 2010):
All joking aside, see, the thing is that we women tend to internalize negative messages. What's that joke's message? It's that women can't win in the sexual respect sweepstakes. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
The more I think about this, I think she may have had more than just some 15 year olds discussing it with her. There may have been an incident.
You aren't helping your cause in your approach, either.
"I explained that in the confines of marriage were both parties our mutually concerned with one another's wants, needs, etc., it seems silly to frame oral sex from a past discussion of immature boys years ago."
So you lectured her and then told her her feelings were silly. Remember, this isn't about logic. This is about feelings and you totally told her that hers didn't matter and were in fact silly. I'd have stopped talking about it with you too.
This goes back to my point about listening to her and not coming in to the talk with your mind already made up. And in your mind, she's silly. That's going to get you absolutely nowhere.
...............................
A
female
reader, MsBehavin +, writes (10 June 2010):
 I think your wife's logic that only dirty, whorish women perform oral sex is a weak argument at best. I have had very few sexual partners. I'm a married, monogamous, college educated, employed professional and I really enjoy giving my husband blow jobs. I love being able to get him so excited; it really gets me revved up. But that's just me.
Is there anything besides sex that your wife really wants for you to do that you don't particularly care for? Like watching Glee with her or going antiquing? (Just using examples my sweet hubby bitches about but still does.) Maybe you should refuse and give some lame ass excuse for why you won't indulge her.
I believe marriage is all about compromise. If something is important to you (and it's not illegal) then your spouse do their best to make an effort to at least try it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 June 2010):
This has nothing to do with logic. You can analyze this ten ways till Sunday but it won't change the fact that she doesn't want to do it. You can rationalize, scrutinize, hypothesize, supersize but it's not going to make her want to give you oral sex.
You're approaching this from the wrong angle. WHY doesn't she feel the need to reciprocate? Is it physical revulsion or psychological aversion?
You're going to have to figure out a way to discuss this with her. Oh, and this means being prepared to listen and accept that you may not like what you hear. The goal of the talk isn't that you'll convince her she's wrong and you are right. The goal of the talk is to hear why it's not on the sexual menu for her.
There's a really old joke that goes something like husband and wife together forever, she refuses to give oral, doesn't want to, he begs and begs and begs and finally she gives in one night. Next morning, the phone rings and he answers it, hands the phone to her and says "it's for you, cocksucker." Perhaps that sentiment behind the joke is what is keeping her from doing it.
Or maybe she had a really awful experience involving it--forced to?--and it has scared her off.
Whatever, my suggestion to you is to talk about this when you are both relaxed and comfortable with each other. Next time you are naked, figure out a way to lie down so that you are pointed north and she is pointed more or less south. You are NOT about to initiate 69, by the way. What you want is for her to start to kind of check out your penis and get to know it from a more up close and personal viewpoint. I don't want you to shove it into her face. You are merely allowing her some time to just hang out with the penis. Maybe start to talk about how much you love her and how much you enjoy giving her pleasure. Caress her without any goal in mind. Just explore her as you want her to explore you. Be patient and do this for a while without expectations.
Didn't you talk about your sexual desires and preferences before you got married? What did you find out then?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSara456 I have never pushed ANY womens head down toward my penis in order for them to get the hint that I want a blowjob. I know women do not like this (common sense) so I don't do it. I agree. It is not a big request of mine to ask her to do it when I do it for her. If she had any bad experience then it is on her for to being open and honest in our relationship and bringing that to my attention. Alas, I don't think this has happened.
Liza999 thank you for your input. I did buy her a book. It arrived and she opened it and was pissed. Oddly she had two friends at the house at that time and decided to show them. You know what both friends response was? They said oh this looks good and started reading from it and getting ideas and thought it was a good idea. Still it changed nothing and she does not do it.
...............................
A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (9 June 2010):
 Stop going down on her its only fair. Once she notice that you won't go down unless she gives you a blow job than she might do it more often.
There are a lot of females that do not like to give a blow, but I think they should not expect to get one either.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question q1605 interesting take on it but I disagree. And BTW she is one of the few women that can orgasm both ways. So she gets to have it both ways and enjoy the different pleasing feeling of the orgasm in different ways but not returning the favor. If you don't care then that is you. I do however.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionVintage64 I guess your question has to do with the guilt you feel for not giving your man a blowjob and trying somehow to justify that if he respected you he would not ask if he knew you did not like it. Nice try but faulty logic.
Let's focus on the facts. I please my wife and do very nice and loving things for her. Does it give her pleasure not giving me a blowjob and has she considered how that makes ME FEEL? Does it give her pleasure when I perform on her and she does not reciprocate?
...............................
A
female
reader, Liza999  +, writes (9 June 2010):
 Is there a possibility that she may feel inadequate as well? If she has not done it in some time she may feel silly The goal is to have her at least try it right? so could you make it a lighter topic where she doesnt feel pressure but playfully joke about it like awe hunny just give him a little kiss would ya or buy her this cute book I am reading called tickle his pickle its fun and has techniques that may intrigue her or feel more confident and not dirty. maybe just maybe she secretly really wants to but is scared...just sayin...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): If she gave you a blow job, even though she didn't want to do it, would that give you pleasure?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSara456 Thank you for your reply. Glad to know I am not the only one who thinks this.
...............................
|
