A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay..today is the day i have sex with my boyfriend and i'm scared because i don't know what to do with him and he wants me to be on top and i don't know anything about sex and he does not want to be on top of me because he is going to be tried and i told him i don't know what to do when i'm on top can someone please help me.thank you bye Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you and no I didn't have sex today because I was scared and he said that we don't have to do it now that we can wait so I'm happy that we didn't because I was really scared and you guys really helped me go through this
A
male
reader, john wayne +, writes (29 July 2009):
just be on top or lay on your side and have him come behind you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): sounds like this day could be your biggest regret
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 July 2009):
 First, read all the notes from the aunts who've answered your question here. Then read these links, (copy/paste as needed) and finally, please do us the courtesy of letting us know why it HAS to be today? What is up with that?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/am-i-really-ready-for-sex--.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/thinking-about-losing-your-virginity.html
If you're ready to do adult things, you must be ready for those adult consequences.
Take care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): I'm not far from your age and I've been in your situation. Let me just tell you if you go through with this and you don't regret it now, you will someday. Two years later, I regret mine. Not at first but I do now. It's not worth it and it's not worth what its hyped up to be. It sounds a little rediculous that he's claiming he's going to be tired so he's going to put forth little effort. If that's the case you should at lest wait until he won't be 'tired'. I wish I could take it all back, it's not worth it. Expecially at this age.
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A
female
reader, mysterious_blonde_lady  +, writes (28 July 2009):
If he is a few years old than you;; don't. He is obviously experienced yes? Coz he doesn't want sex on top because he will be 'tired'.. but he is obviously insensitive as sex on top will hurt you if you are a virgin. If this guy has pressured you, tell him to 'go fuck himself'. Should not be having sex if you are scared, should not be scared. And should not be having sex on top first time - it will hurt you, don't do it. Dont do anything you don't feel comfortable with. If you say no, and he dumps you he is a moron. Teenage boys are idiots mostly,. and sex is only thing interested in save for mates (not all but almost all). You are under 16, and you don';t know anything about sex -- should not be having it with someone who's atttitude is that they can;t be 'bothered' to be on top because they are 'tired' my opinion -- they obviously don't want it that much then. I would just say 'nope' no guy ever make me do anything i don't want to do.
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A
female
reader, Nora_Bird  +, writes (28 July 2009):
 Okay, you really need to think this through. If you are scared or nervous about this decision to loose your virginity then you are clearly not ready. Your first time should be with some one you're in love with and this person should not make you feel uncomfortable about sex or worried about how you perform. I strongly advise you NOT to go through with decision! Wait until you're truly ready! Good LUCK!
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (28 July 2009):
 You say today is the day you have sex with your boyfriend...are we right in thinking this is your first time? If so I really hope you dont have sex with him, this sounds all so wrong!
If your boyfriend is too tired to go on top and wants to make you do all the work then your first time wont be very special, and you will regret your decision to have sex.
Now I do think it is important to wait until you are 100% ready to have sex, especially when you are young as in your case. And from your post it sounds like you are not ready and a bit too nervous about the whole thing to go ahead and have sex.
I think the best thing you can do is tell your boyfriend that you are not ready to have sex yet, and you want to wait a little longer. When you do decide to have sex, both you are your boyfriend shouldnt be tired, you should be excited about it not terrified and you should feel comfortable with what you are doing. You need to sort out contraception - the only reliable way not to get pregnant is to use both birth control and a condom.
If your boyfriend loves you then he will understand that you are not ready for sex yet, and that when you do have sex you want the experience to be special, not when he is tired! You will find that when you are ready and comfortable with the idea of having sex, it wont matter that you dont know what to do because it all comes naturally to you. Sex is new to everyone at some point, and we are never taught how to do it so it just comes naturally - but only if it feels right! If it is with the wrong person, or at the wrong time then it will feel awkward and uncomfortable.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): To be honest, I think you need to ask yourself if you are seriously ready for this, you are quite young and even though you may think you are ready, are you sure it's not because he is and so therfore, you've convinced yourself you are aswell.
It's never a bad thing to wait until you are ready and even though you may really like this guy now, you may not in a few years time and could regret this decision. And if he gets angry or doesn't like you choice for waiting, then you've done the right thing by getting rid of a bad guy.
But if you are serious and want to do this, then go with flow. It's never easy on your first time. No-one an expert on their first time either so whatever goes wrong, it won't always be like that.
Just rememebr, not to be pressured into something you don't want to do.
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female
reader, bobbles32 +, writes (28 July 2009):
 haha, good one. Um, sweetie.. we're not going to advise you on how to break the law, sorry.
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female
reader, princessjasmine +, writes (28 July 2009):
you're a baby! dont hav sex
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 July 2009):
 He's going to be tried? For sex with a minor?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): just go with the flow and everything will be fine.but as a hint just bounce up and down,but have confidence,and enjoy yourself x
plus use protection
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): Bye.
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