A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My family are a big fishing family (both my side and my husband's family loves fishing). We tried to teach our children to love fishing. We have three children and three grandchildren. Our youngest son, Justin, is 33 years old and he hates fishing. We tried to teach him to love fishing, but he always hated fishing since we took him fishing the first time. Nothing went wrong, he just hated it. He loves the outdoors, he just prefers the land over water (every year, instead of going on a fishing vacation like us, he goes tent camping in the woods with his friends). We bought a fishing camp about five years ago and he only has been to it once. Every year, we plan a family reunion with the whole family (aunts, uncles, parents, grandparents, children, grandchildren, cousins, est.) at our fishing camp. Justin always claim he has to work that weekend and can't get out of it. We actually found out from one of his co-workers, who is also one of our friends, that he volunteers to work Labor Weekend (the weekend of our family reunion) so other people with families can take off. Justin is a devout Catholic so his co-workers usually cover for him on holy days of obligation (he attends Mass at his church). Is there anything we can do to get him to enjoy fishing or at least gets him to hate fishing less? Is there anything we can do to get him to come to our fishing camp more often? W
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 August 2018):
 Justin is a grown man, why on earth would you want him to do something that he hates? You need to accept that fishing is not for him and leave him to it. Maybe you could organize a family vacation that does not require fishing if you would like the whole family to be together, at least that way he could feel more included. I would be hurt if my family wanted me to keep doing something I hated. Try and see it from his point off view and make more off an effort to bond with him over his interests in life.
A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (26 August 2018):
 Speaking from one mother to another (I am your age and have a son your age)...back off mom. I realize the whole idea that you want the whole family to be there but your son doesn't want to go and won't be happy there. So why are you pushing it? No, I really doubt if there is anything you can do to make him want to enjoy it or want to go. He just doesn't want to. He has that right doesnt he? He sounds like a nice guy and he's trying to be respectful and not hurt anyone but bottom line..he doesn't want to go and be in that environment. Respect him..respect his feelings.
I find it rather sad that you go behind him and check to see what he's really doing when he's not going? Seriously??? WHY do you need to know?
Coming from a child who had a rather controlling mother who tried to get me to do things HER way..I can tell you I grew to resent some of the things my mother did to me. I'm not talking about as a child, I am talking about being an adult. Once I didn't hired for a job my mother actually called the man who interviewed me to find out why he didn't hire me! I was in my 40's!!! She somehow thought it was her right to know. It wasn't.
Leave him be, mom. Find other things that you can do together..fishing doesn't have to be one of them.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 August 2018):
 He doesn't enjoy it, so why try and force it?
He is also 33 so OLD enough to decide WHAT he wants to do with his time off.
Respect that he doesn't want to come.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (26 August 2018):
 He hates fishing. Accept it.
Why are you trying to force him to enjoy it? If anything that will make him despise it even more. You’re his mother so surely you should want the best for him and be able to accept that there’s some things he just doesn’t like?
Would you do something that you absolutely hate because someone asked you to? I doubt it. Why don’t YOU go on a tent camping vacation instead? Why does he have to do what everyone else wants to? He sounds like an independent guy that isn’t afraid to do whatever he feels like, I say good on him.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 August 2018):
 Poor Justin. Why do you want to MAKE him like fishing ? he sounds like a nice person as he is; if his only fault , in your eyes, is that he wants to stay away from fishing and fishing camps ( sentiment that personally I understand very well ! )- let it go and let him be. Justin is 33, not a rebellious teenager. He does not skip the family reunion in order to do something shameful or illegaL; nor on a random whim ; he is doing a favour to his collegueas, because he wants to, I guess, but also because he has to ,if he wants that his colleagues keep covering for him on Sundays.
You can bring the horse to the water , but you cannot make it drynk- it 's high time you realize that. You have exposed him to fishing, you have explained him about fishing, you have shown him fishing etc.etc- and that's OK, I guess every parent would love it ,if his / her kids should take an active interest in the parent's passions. But when you see, time and again, that for whatever reason it does not work, well… what part of " I don't like fishing " exactly you did not understand ?
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (26 August 2018):
 So the only time you have a big family reunion is when you are fishing? What is more important to you: the fishing or keeping a bond with your son?
I am sure there are things YOU must hate doing. Put yourself in your son's shoes and ask yourself how you would feel if someone was trying to force you to participate in something you absolute hate doing.
Poor Justin. He is trying to handle this the best way he can without upsetting his family too much. What a shame his family don't have the same sensitivity towards HIS feelings.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2018): Jesus. No wonder he doesn't like fishing. What an obsessive, controlling parent you are. It probably isn't the fishing he hates but more hating how crazy you are trying to force a grown man to do something he has no interest in just to make yourself feel better.
He is free to do whatever he likes, when he likes. If you want to keep your son in your life, I suggest backing off
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