Lack of sex is causing me to feel unloved and unwanted. I'm a newlywed!

A female age 36-40, *adnewlywed writes:

I need direction and I am so lost. My newly wed husband and I dated almost a year before we married. Engaged for only 3 months I thought this is what I have waited so long for. after the first night of our honeymoon I had this gut feeling something wasn't right. He made love to me 3x's in one night and I thought wow this is amazing. He didn't touch me for over a week until I asked for it on our honeymoon. It only got worse as the days and weeks went on. finally after two months of hell wondering why he didnt want me or want to be be sexual with me, he tells me in a fight "my libido dropped about a month before the wedding." I told him thank you for sharing but you should have told me before we married and you have made me feel like something is wrong. He promised to do better and asked how often would I need sex. The sad thing is I was a virgin and I didnt know and I told him that. I do have a higher drive than he does but I barely get sex and I only feel connected to him when we do. But its gotten worse. The sex has been so bad that and far and few and its a quick eyes shut no engaging that I feel like I'm disgusting to him. He always puts his family first and I'm on the back burner. I've talked to him that we are our own family and he doesn't see it. we talked about having his niece who is 7 over once a month to have a sleep over and to spend time with her because he didn't spend that much time with her before. but when she is over she is obsessed with me and he dumps her on me. he gets more excited to see her than me and it really hurts. My mom saw it and felt so bad for me last night and I couldn't take it. When we are alone he's always on the phone txting or calling someone. he's so secretive and I am so worried that its what I think it is. I've asked him hey maybe we should go to the doctor to see if there is something deeper wrong physically. he doesn't want to. I've asked for counseling and nothing. He tells me all the time that he used to like wild things and I've tried so hard to get him to engage with me in those things in the bedroom and he wont. I'm hurting and feeling unwanted. I've pleaded and begged and said I'm doing everything I can to meet your needs and love languages why wont you meet mine. he says he will do better and never does. He wont tell me if he is attracted to me, or if I am pretty or if to him I look good. I've always had guys interested in me this is so painful and I need advice. Men ? Am I being unrealistic? I only want him I don't want anyone else. I've given up family, job, friends, everything. I've jumped through every hoop and he still finds fault. I cant win. please guys I don't need the advice leave him I need to know I'm not being a ridiculous newlywed.

View related questions: engaged, libido, unloved, wedding

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A female reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 August 2018):

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (26 August 2018):

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2018):

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2018):

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2018):

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