A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for almost six years. He has been a really great partner and friend. However, he has cheated on me with around 7 women. All of whom he said he just had one time sex with. He has never told me or given me reason to suspect anything. I always find out either by weird text messages to his phone or from his e-mail account. I found about his most recent cheating some weeks ago. I am hurting so much. My gut feeling tells me to leave but I love him so much. He has said it will not happen again, but he has told me this before. I told him, it would make no sense for us to stay together, because I don't trust him at all and I don't see myself being happy with him because of what he has done. He wants me to stay and let him prove that he will never hurt me again. If he has not stopped cheating and lying after almost 6 years, why should I believe that he will stop know?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008): He has lied to you and has been unfaithful with around 7 women - do you really think he is going to stop?? He sounds like a serial cheater - nothing will change him - he makes all the right sounds to you when you question him and off he goes and does it again. He has his bread buttered on both sides! Time to move on, it will be hard but it is worth it, how would you feel if one day you found out you were HIV+ and you know you have been cheating? Not worth the risk, get out now!
A
female
reader, lotsofgiggles123  +, writes (7 April 2008):
 if he really loved you he would not be cheating on you 6 times i think you should brake up with the fella it might hurt the first time but you will heal from the brake up
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A
female
reader, M! +, writes (7 April 2008):
 Definitly leave this jerk.
If he truely loves you then he wouldnt of cheated on you.
especially more than 6 times.
You deserve so much better than this guy.
Love isnt suppose to hurt you.
Love is suppose to be the greatest feeling ever.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (7 April 2008):
 There comes a certain time in life when it's time to really make a change. This is that time. How long are you going to allow such disrespect? Your right, being cheated on hurts. So he's taking part in behaviors which he knows hurts you. Is that love? I don't even see that as a common respect that you might even extend someone you've never met.
You mentioned he said this before. If you forgave him before, and he really respected you and this relationship, he would of made sure it didn't happen again. All though it should never happen the first time.
Everyone needs to stop taking excuses from people who cheat. It's not a mistake. It's a conscious choice. They know what they're doing. They also know how much pain you'll feel when you find out. A relationship that is supose to be loving is one of protecting your partners feelings, not taking part in activities which cause them pain.
I would have to say not to trust what he says. I would still forgive him, because that's how to release yourself of the pain from this, but not because he deserves to be let off the hook, you do. You deserve to be able to live and find love, without this pain holding you back.
I had to do just that in the past. One of my most recent ex's, about 7 years ago. I loved her, and I bet in a way I still do. She's the mother of my child. She didn't cheat, but she did other immoral and hurful things. I told her this. "I will always love you. I forgive you for what you did. With that being said, I'm sure you understand why I can't be with you."
You deserve the best. Never settle for less. Staying with him, you will never have the opportunity to really find out how it feels to be loved. Having someone there for you and only you. Someone who lights up just because you walked in the room. Someone who can't wait to get home from work because they know you're there.
You deserve all that and more. If you're not experiencing at least a good part of that right now, you know the direction you need to take. Take care.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (7 April 2008):
 He wants two things: to keep you, and to keep on cheating. He has gotten away with it six times. That makes him think he can talk you into anything. So he's trying it again.
I wouldn't give this person another chance.
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A
female
reader, destiny2008  +, writes (7 April 2008):
 i think you should pack your bags im sorry if that is hard but you deserve better you have been with him far to long and he has hurt you by cheating on you with these women get out while you can while your young and without children because it will be harder for you to when your tied down just leave listen to your gut and get the courage to go good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008): Listen to your gut feeling. That is what it is there for. A man who cheats cannot be trusted and will not change! The only reason he is trying to keep you in his grasp is so he can have you until he finds another 1 time stand! Don't let him use you like that! You deserve to be a one and only to someone who truly loves you.
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A
female
reader, sadeyes +, writes (7 April 2008):
Hi
Sorry to be so blunt,but if you are still with this guy after he has cheated so many times you must be mad.Have you no self respect that you think so little of yourself???
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008): I hope with all my might that you get over the hurt. Personally, if he has cheated on you so many times before and there was sex involved...you need to move on. Once a cheater always a cheater...and he proved it 7 times. He wants you in his life cause he knows you the one to fall back on. You the stable relationship while he has all his flings. You hurting cause you too afraid to move on. Bet you, you can't see your life without him? The initial step to say enough is enough is the worst. But it gets easy. You'll find someone who will only have time for you. Make a conscious realisation that your bf is a cheat and will never change!
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