A
female
age
41-50,
*iamondgirl83bi
writes:my boyfriend knows about my 1st relationship and how screwed up it made me especially being so young and finding my bf/baby daddy watching porn and jacking off instead of getting it from me.there were other sexual traumas but this alone affected me most and this my new bf knew cuz b4 our relationship he was kinda my bff.well i caught him while i was sleeping many times during our month break up 2 make up period.i kept it in until one day he really pinched a nerve by obviously turning his head i80degrees 2 look at this chick that's when i let it all out how hes a sick pervert and needs mental help because who in their right mind tipes in the search box"daughter giving daddy blow job and things of that context but a sicko.?"huge ordeal and traumatizing 2 me cuz now its out there making it true.his response over time was "f" im a man but 2 me that's beyond being a man.anyways he hurt me cuz he knew my history yet still chose 2 be sneaky and open up a insecure beast i took 8 years 2 tame.now at night i cant even sleep cuz i swear hes rubbing the side of his genitals yet he denies it...there are times when i'm not 100 % sure cuz i don't see i just feel Lil movement but other times i feel and see him of course in a position not 2 be noticeable 2 someone looking out 4 such behavior.i wake him with hits cuz feel ugly unattractive and so defeated hes choosing that over me plus doing it while i'm in the bed. then he denies it and accuses me of tripping.he gets so mad hes always saying leave and i'm done with you.sometimes he gets so upset he has me doubt myself and start believing im going crazy.but then i remember the ex and his swearing up and downs ending up in lies.so if hes doing this why continue if he knows my reaction,and why deny it and have me reliving a trauma-ed past??is he trying 2 break my confidence cuz he knows the facts about what others say ...what is it and what can i do 2 stop being so insecure over this?
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blow-job, confidence, insecure, period, porn Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, mark89 +, writes (15 January 2011):
Dont ger angry every man masturbates at least once and its normal special when they have a partner because they have more hormones
A
female
reader, Worried64 +, writes (9 January 2011):
I think u should just talk it over my partner seems very similar he is more than likely embarrassed that u caught him I have caught my partner and he has similar responds but we have talked about things and I enjoy watching porn as well its kinda of arousing but i do agree that it does make u feel unattractive but if u sit down and talk about it maybe u can sort cause my man has made feel that its just something he does and he has laid off for a little while hope this helps
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A
female
reader, ShiShisAdvice +, writes (8 January 2011):
 OMG LEAVE you have a child. LEAVE! And don't even think twice about it.
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A
female
reader, LostInMyself +, writes (7 January 2011):
 If he does it once in a while I don't think he is a sex addict.I'm sorry you feel this way but you cannot change his preferences. If he rather watch pron than be with you I would understand why you are upset, but if he does this in his private time I think you should respect this. If he does it once in a while it is normal, all guys and a lot of girls watch porn. It is just a fantasy, nothing else.
I think you should sit and CALMLY and lovingly and not judgmentally speak to him... and tell him that it bothers you because maybe you think he is into them more than you, and ask him what he would like to change on your sex-life and tell him what you would like...Also tell him about your "sexual traumas" and the reason why it bothers you. BUT be respectful because if that is what he is into there is no way you can change that and being stubborn and disrespectful is only going to make it worse.
go together to a sexual counselor or couples counseling, tell him to go with you so you can get help with your traumas and that you want you relationship to improve.
The "daughter giving daddy a bj" is just a fantasy, does not mean he is a pedophile or anything! The human mind is infinite and maybe he likes this kind of role play. If you know he like those fantasies, imagine if you dressed like a schoolgirl and gave him a bj? He would faint! You can use this issue to find out more about his and your preferences and spice up your sex life.
Please always be respectful of his preferences as you want him to be of yours. Try going to counseling together and if you see that you guys can't get over this then you may not be compatible.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): I'm sorry but the only one out of line here is you.
Frankly you're the one that needs help! Give your man some privacy! What he does with his body/masturbates to is his business - not yours. If you have issues then you need to sort them out instead of blaming your boyfriend for doing something that's perfectly normal.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): i dont think that you should leave him. maybe next time you feel him touching himself put your hnd down his pants and do it yourself. maybe you should take couples counselling for a while??
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A
female
reader, loveitlongtime +, writes (7 January 2011):
 Ok, the only person who can change this situation is yourself. Your man is not going to change, even if sometime in the future he agrees to get help. I do not think he is a sex addict or that he has some sort of problem, i think that is his fetish. Even though that fetish is extremely inappropriate, that is what he likes and you cant change that, but what you can do is beat yourself up about it. It is bothering you enough to ask other people for advice so this is what i think you should do. I think you should take about 10 minutes out of your day to think (when your calm) and think about the pros and cons of this relationship. You should really see if the masturbating and porn is affecting it so much and if it is, then there is no need for this relationship. I was cheated on when i had a boyfriend of a year, i told my just recent ex boyfriend that i had trust issues because of this reason, and i was getting mail to my facebook about other girls he was talking to, i kicked him to the curb, i did not want to stand for it, and if this is bothering you as much as you say, you shouldnt stand for it either, do not try and see the good in it if you are unhappy, because you only have one life, and there are many fish in the sea, you dont need this specific one, send me a personal message if you need more help.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): The only person you can change in this world is yourself. If you have sexual trauma than see a councelor so you aren't so effected by porn and masturbation b/c every guy does that. he won't change but you can get help for yourself and maybe you should forgo boyfriends until you have better self esteem. no boyfriend can make you secure or insecure.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (7 January 2011):
 I don't know if he would be classified as a sex addict, but there are a lot of reasons why guys choose masturbation to actually sex with a woman, for instance, he already knows what he likes and therefore knows exactly what to do to get himself there.
Looking at porn is natural. I know some people find it appalling, but it's natural. Guys who look at porn generally aren't thinking about a specific chick, they like the confidence portrayed in the porn and the blatant sexuality with nothing being held back. As for the "daughter giving daddy blow job" there are a lot of fantasies out there and though most people won't admit it, they have some pretty out there fetishes.
I don't know the extent of your sexual traumas, but I would sit down with him and talk to him about why this is bothering you and how it makes you feel to know that he would rather touch himself than let you touch him. Perhaps then he will understand a little bit more.
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