A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:okayy so theres this guy ive liked for quite some time, we were all at this party and i was drinking a little to much, i poured my heart out to him and told him how i felt, we stated talking alot, than he took me off into this room, and we started doing this he told me that we were dating and that he was in love, i was a bit drunk so i believed this at the time and gave it up, he was my first, and the next day he said it ment nothing and i was just another night, what should i do confront him get him back or just let it go, keep in mind he took something very speacil from me.
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female
reader, ffogalilly +, writes (11 October 2009):
You've got taken advantage of, a man said to me last week he loved me twice, but I knew he was just drunk and being stupid. You were drunk, I have been there myself more than once, I am so sorry he took your first time, and threw it in your face. But learn from this, men will tell you anything to get what they want. That is why if I want something, then I'll do it, and its on my terms. I have said no and it makes the guy mad, but you know what, I don't care. Be strong and do not let men manipulate you anymore.I had been drinking myself, and I said that I cared about him, he was the one that said love, and I'm going to make sure he knows it the next time I see him.That guy sounds like a major asshole, tell him to take a hike.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (10 October 2009):
I'm really sorry that you were treated this way. Not all guys are so shabby. Always always make sure when you're drinking that you're not drinking alone and tht you're with a friend. I don't think it's worth confronting him. A man who says that it meant nothing simply won't listen to you and is more likely to laugh and hurt you more. Dont' ever speak to him again or have anthything to do with him. He's just not worth your time. Never believe a guys who says 'i love you' so quckly. That's a cheap trick. And forgive yourself as well. You havent done anything wrong at all, and yoou didn't deserve this. I'm sorry he did take something so special. However, you can make sure that next time, you're with a guy who really cares and will understand how special you are.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2009): Yes, I am sorry for what happened to you, you were trusting and now you will be guarded with people, but that is unfortuneately what is necessary in today's world, to have your guard up.
You can't change what happened and I wouldn't talk to him at all ever again or even send him that note. He won't care, there are bad men in the world like that and they can be very charming, add alchohol to the mix and you are a sitting duck.
You have learned some important lessons.
1. Never drink around men that you haven't known for a long time and trust with your life, never.
2. Better yet, don't drink at all, or have one drink along with a meal. Alchohol is especially bad for women, we do not have the enzyme in our blood that metabolizes alchohol as readily as men and it takes a lot less for ust to get drunk and unscrupulous men will shove drinks at you and make sure your glass is never dry.
3. Do not believe any boy or man who says he loves you quickly. He is after sex and he will say anything in order to get into your pants.
4. Do not have sex without being in a committed relationship with a man, where he has asked you to be exclusive and he has EARNED your trust. This may take months of getting to know each other.
5. Never have unprotected sex. If you continue to be sexually active put yourself on birth control. Condoms break. The burden of birth control is on the woman.
6. Having sex at an early age for women puts you at a very high risk of contracting HPV which is a common human virus that can lead to cervical cancer. Condoms do not protect against HPV. Look into getting the vaccine for HPV Gaurdasil, the jury is out on how effective it is at protecting against this virus, but it certainly is better than not having some protection from HPV.
I hope you do forgive yourself
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A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love +, writes (10 October 2009):
This was sad for me to read. How devastating that must be. Just stay away from him. He is going to be looking for you to be begging for his affection. don't give him the satisfaction. He will be talking bs behind ur back to his guy buddies and I just want to encourage you to be strong and don't let it get to you. Ignore him. And after a certain time he will try to sweet talk you and use some line on you to try to get with you again. But remember what happens when u take the "n" out of line and what do u have? don't even talk to this guy and when he tries to get to you make it clear that he doesn't. Good luck and please update us and let us know of anything else that transpires
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (10 October 2009):
 I'm so sorry this happened to you. In the future be more careful when drinking and it would be a good idea to have a trustworthy friend to help you when you are in this type of situations. I don't recommend getting drunk and it would be a wise idea to stop drinking when you are buzzed but that is your choice.
This guy is a jerk who merely used you. If he doesn't know you were a virgin then I would write him a little message explaining how much your virginity meant to you and how he just took it away from you without any remorse. Maybe then he will feel a little guilty but I highly doubt it. Keep the note short and to the point. After that have no more contact with him.
The next step is to forgive yourself. You did put yourself into a bad situation by drinking but you were under the impression that he loved you and you were dating. This is not your fault. You should heal and move on. As much as it hurts now it is not the end of the world. This does not make you unworthy of another guy. You are not dirty and deserve a sweet guy who will love you for who you are.
Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (10 October 2009):
 I feel terrible for you. Here you poured your heart out to a man who instead of listening to you, merely heard what he wanted to hear, told you what you wanted to hear; got what he wanted, and then walked away from you.
I am sorry to say it, but you were used. He's a horrible person for taking advantage of you when you were drunk. He has no character whatsoever and he doesn't respect you.
You can't get "it" back from him. If anything, you should stay away from a man like that. He's no good for anyone. He's selfish and cared nothing about you, your feelings or what you gave to him that night.
For him to belittle that and call you "just another night", insults you as a woman and your own, personal sexuality.
You're a human being, and more importantly he had no right to do that.
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