A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im a mid twenties woman who has been married for a few years, we have two kids. Ive been uneasy in the relationship . WE finally talked about the possibility of it not working out, and he told me to quit my job, it wasnt really an ultimatum. but nonetheless it bothers me, how am i supposed to leave with out an income, if i should choose to do so? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2010): Yeh, I too am unsure why he's asking you to quit your job, especially if in this current economic climate. If it is indeed a childcare issue and you are both under pressure then how about you both cutting your hours down and sharing the childcare equally? That way you are both still in employment but have more time to spare. Just a thought.
Hope you work out your issues.
A
male
reader, Beingblack  +, writes (28 January 2010):
 I do not fully understand how suddenly quitting your job will save the marriage. What makes your husband think that this is the magic formula? Perhaps you could enlighten us.
I do get the impression that you did not anticipate being asked to be a 'stay at home' housewife type at this stage of your life, if at any stage. You like having a job.
It is down to you.
If you feel that balancing your career with being a good mother are within your capability, then don't quit.
Your husband might need to adjust his expectations of what he believes makes a good wife.
Without a few more details as to the 'why', it's tough to give a balanced response.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2010): No - now is not the time to be out of work. Should you work on your marrige - yes. But your job is not your marrige. Good Luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2010): I suspect that he is worried that you will leave and he knows that if you quit your job that you won't easily have that option. If it were not for you telling him that the marriage might not work out then I would say that he is just interested in the children. Besides, I know a lot of couples who have children and both work full time and their families seem to be fine, so saying that you should quit if you care about the family is BS.
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A
female
reader, Gridrebel +, writes (28 January 2010):
 You don't give enough specifics. Why does he want you to quit your job, what does it have to do with the quality of your relationship? How are your finances. Why are you uneasy in your relationship? What have you really been fighting about? What is your job and what are the hours? How are your children being cared for? Rarely is it one factor that is a problem in a relationship and something is fishy here.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2010): it might be a good idea so there can be someone at home taking care of the children and home. you should think about it. your marriage and family, i hate to say it, should be more important.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (28 January 2010):
Well that's what I was thinking. It's not enough for you to quit your job and it all suddenly work out. That won't happen. You need to go to counselling together and suggest things you can both do.
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